428, again.

I'll finish this and shut up.

IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, regarding BERSIH 3.0,

I am disappointed. Not by the government, not by the Malaysian police, they are notorious. But, by rakyat Malaysia.

Malaysian, please, don't be blinded by the stupidity of some people on internet.

You were not there so you do not know what exactly happened.

You can see some pictures, but it can be photoshop-ed.

You can read some articles written by someone who was there, but it can be biased.

You can even watch videos, it can be edited.

Even without, just pause for a moment while your anger is conquering your mind, and think, don't you ever wonder for one second, what the person was doing while he was watching and recording the poor civilian under attacked? (If 'police attacked citizens' rumors are true). Shouldn't it be more sensible to offer your hand rather than yelling like maniac towards the police? Wouldn't it be more helpful and useful if you tried to stop and prevent the bad become worse?

You are not media; it is good to film it down but when a person getting attacked, common sense would dictate, offering help is most appropriate.

It even starts getting on my nerve when you then write a long article and post on social medias by hoping people will see how noble you are.

Well, I wasn't there.

I couldn't comment too much about the force used and applied by police.

I couldn’t measure the real need of tear gases and water cannons.

I couldn’t say much about the experience being under tear gases and water cannons.

But I pretty sure, if you have the energy to shout towards police, you would have sufficient energy to stop the tragedy from happening, and even more practical way of solving problem.

Yes I understand you might not want to be arrested. You did not want to get yourself into trouble.

But, aren’t you already getting into trouble with government by protesting this time?

You today attended the rally and claimed your love in your country, aren't you want to change the future? Shape a better country? Build an educated community? Produce a civilized society?

Where can I see that from you? How have you proved yourself?

Getting into trouble turned to be an excuse, which you are now contradicting with yourself.

Plus, watch the video, zillion people are around, what are you afraid of? They will back you up, if you have the what it takes, the sufficient courage and guts to stand up for the poor citizen.

If they do not, it again proved, people went for the rally for fun, to go wild, by not understanding the real cause behind it, which is exactly the last thing BERSIH want to see.

I pretty sure you only wanted to be famous and known noble.

All the more reason you should go and defend the poor civilian, you will be recorded and reported on news the next day!

There are so much why after that the rally:

WHY the hell the protesters attacked police in the first place?

WHY the hell no one offered help if you are really sympathetic?

WHY the hell you only have the courage to film but not do something practical if that’s what you wanna change in your country?

WHY the hell can people just attend without knowing the real objective behind it?

BERSIH is not an organisation anti-government nor pro-opposition. It is not anti-police either.

It is just opposition chose to back it up.

Police should not have attacked any citizen, any weaponless civilian, anyone, under any circumstances.

But should you attack the police in the first place?

You created an excuse for them to frame you.

Malaysian, you are too overwhelmed by hatred and anger.

Of course, I believe there were true heroes out there, who attended, protested, demonstrated, fought, followed the order, and then went home. Not creating a slim chaos.

Sadly, it might be minority.

Malaysia, we are not educated and civilized enough, Maybe we are not ready for this type of democracy yet?

仇恨的背后，只是另一个仇恨的开始。

马来西亚，今天过后，我们一起静下来慢慢细考，好吗?

428 aftermath

428 aftermath,
It is sad to see people overturned the police car(not sure what the real cause behind, it is still debatable)
It is sad to see people chanted 'tumbang BN'.
It is sad to see the tear gases have finally been used and water canons have been fired.

More importantly, people are fanatics.
It is sad.

This is not the consequence we want.
BERSIH is demanding and fighting for free, fair and clean election. That is it and the only it. Not anything else.

Many people just do not seem to understand the real cause behind BERSIH.
They fought, not for clean election, but for venting towards the political party they do not like.
They demonstrated to manifest their dissatisfaction towards current electoral system, listen, its current electoral system, not current government.
Unfortunately,
A bona fide action and movement for country turned into a mala fide of retaliation.
You're making the country going backwards, becoming more regressive.

Well, I did not think of I can write an long article about my political view, for the first time.
I usually just sit and observe, quietly.
My support, my passion towards the change, deep down in my heart, just get sparked and ignited after a discussion with a friend.

Again, I need to emphasize.
I am no one.
I have no political stance.

What I truly wanna say is,
please, a big bunch of ignorant people will not serve the original purpose of BERSIH, instead, defeating it.

Well, it seems that it is still long way to go for Malaysia's true civilisation and first world mentality.

Of course, I'm no saint.
But all I'm saying is -be calm!
You are not puppet of opposition party.
and
All we need, probably is now - patience.

Be patience, fellow Malaysians, keep fighting, for the right and accurate motion.
Let's together make Malaysia a better place.

Great success takes time.
Long time that you could ever imagine.

428以后，
很让人痛心疾首。
害群之马伤害了原本理直气壮的斗气。
无理之士破坏了原本深明大义的目标。

大家请冷静。请思考。请了解。

当然，我不是圣人。
可是依小弟的愚见，
净选盟背后的意义和斗争不是教你反政府。
只是不要肮脏政治。

不过这一次庆幸的是，看到很多华裔同胞都干站出来了。
以前我们选择沉默，不是对政治冷漠，也许是失望的成分比较多。
这一次，我们不同了。

不过我要在强调，
我没有支持国阵，也不会是好像一群大众般成为反对党的棋子。
我只是希望有一天，
我向往的美国公民权念头可以放弃，
真正可以确确实实地告诉全世界--
我是大马公民！

428

428 2012, BERSIH 3.0 rally.
It will be one of the most significant day in the history of Malaysia.
A historical moment for democracy.

For the first time I express my political views towards my country in words:

Fellow Malaysians, please do not ever, for a second, think that you are tiny and you aren't gonna be at much help for your own country's politic. Please do not ever, for a moment, doubt your decision of attending the rally, if that's what your inner voice is.

Some might object to whatever have been said and done by the organiser of BERSIH, but they couldn't deny the courage and spirit you possess, also, the believe, the faith and the hope you have for your own country.
Some may just disagree of the idea of rally, but they could not negate the ideology behind the rally.
Some would just put you off for your way of expressing the support for the rally, but they could not refute the dream you have for our own country.
Some could suspect the agenda behind the rally, but most importantly, they couldn't take away your rights as a human, a citizen of the land.

It may mean nothing to them, but it could mean everything to others.

People asked :'How can you be sure that all of those who attend the rally are able to change the government? How can BERSIH represent the rakyat? How sure are you that they will be enough people to vote the current government out?'

Well, I am not sure. But, BERSIH is not against government. BERSIH is not one of the many implements of opposition party. BERSIH did not say they want to rule out BN.
They do not choose to pick up any fight or quarrel, do not mean to provoke anyone, would not tolerate any agitation coming from and created by anyone.
All they are asking for is, a clean and fair election. All they want is, BN can win the election with a transparent system.
Just get this straight, it is not right to say that BERSIH is pro-opposition or the rally is held for the sake of anti-government
The fact that they changed from a walking demonstration last year to a peaceful sitting this year should prove that.

There is no ingredient of retaliation, vengeance or revenge, and certainly no hidden agenda. 

Malaysia is shedding its tears, it's crying, we can stop it before it becomes real hysterical.
Rome, is indeed, not built in one day. American would not have been this civilised, if it wasn't Martin Luther King, Jr. Your one step today, might be one big leap of the democracy, echoing Neil Armstrong's word.

But please, rakyat Malaysia, do know what you are fighting for. Please do not attend for the sake of it. Please do not get angry over stuffs you understand partially. It annoys people when you keep blabbering nonsensical accusation, without solid base. It is pointless if you attend the rally or support the cause without knowing the objectives behind it, or using some stupid logics to explain your vendettas.
The last thing we want to see is ignorant people creating troubles for ourselves, which is the case in Malaysian politic today.

Fellow Malaysians, have faith in it, in everything you believe in.
It might not be as influencial as you expected.
You might just being overoptimistic on how you are able to achieve anything through the rally.
But still, you have came this far. Do not lose hope, do not surrender.
Give everything, but do not give in, and do not give up.

Dear our beloved and undeniably deadly corrupted government, 
The rally does not mean to prove anything, besides ultimately asking and demanding for a fair election.
If you are threaten, it is rakyat themselves, who have proved to you that :'They have risen, Malaysia has arisen, democracy is awakening!!!'
How ironic it is for Malaysians overseas to feel even much safer to express their political views than those who are in Malaysia itself.
Where is the absolute right of freedom of speech conferred by our Federal Constitution?
Why are those who suppose to protect us, conversely, create fear out of us towards them?
Why are you always telling us not to compare with Singapore or any country better than us? 
How could you still using Indonesian Chinese as a comparison to Malaysian Chinese today?
Why does our Deputy Prime Minster have the pride and dignity to announce to the world that his ethnic identity will always come before his nationality?

That is utter rubbish. An outright ridiculous and outrageous mindset.

If you do not wish us to compare Malaysia with any country which is more advance than us, do you honestly expect us to believe that Malaysia is running fine because the fact that we are better than a lot of third world countries today?
Can you genuinely get the satisfaction through your fabrication of facts?
You may think Malaysia is better than Indonesia today, but not for long.
It is just a matter of time for Indonesia, Philippines, Brunei which you previously much stronger than them long time ago, to overtake us.
We need civilisation, not contamination, anymore.

All these years, what have you done to my country?
You blame British 'divide and rule' policy, so tell me, what is the difference between your policy of unfair distribution and treatment of resources according to ethnic group than the British one?
Speaking about liberal and fairness,
Native Americans are indigenous people, but the State is today ruled by mostly white. No any races, even one, dare to claim their superior rights over the land. Because the State does not belong to white, black or anyone. It belongs to American, whatever colour your skin is, be it white, black, yellow or brown.

Today, an African American can proudly tell the world that he is American, so does a Chinese American, because they found the sense of belonging, the sense of recognition in their own country.
Sadly, as a Malaysian, I could not find it in our country today.

BERSIH is just a good start of democracy, please listen and observe, with heart about the vents and rants from rakyat.
God forbid, nothing serious will happen, no direct conflict between the polices, authorities and people. 
For those who doubt their decision of going against the world to fight for your rights and let your voice to be heard. You're doing the right thing.
You are much better than anyone of us who is sitting in front of computer sharing, posting and commenting.

We'll stand for the vision of change. The time has come. This is the time. The time is now.
Power of people is formidable. Strength of unity is unbeatable. Morality is invincible.

Fellow Malaysian warriors and comrades worldwide, please be safe.

P/S: I may not be politically and statistically correct. I am just an ordinary person with an awkward and 'extra-ordinary' interest and identity - a Malaysian Chinese.

致大马人民，千万不要认为你一个微小力量起不了什么作用，不要认为大势集体示威很不合逻辑；也许最后是两败俱伤，也许最后落得尴尬难堪。可是至少，你今天狼藉地避开水枪催泪弹的同时，是腐败政府狼狈下台的前夕。
有人问我：“你可以肯定所有大马人都想换政府吗？净选盟可以代表多少个不大马人？你又怎样知道大多数人只不过是凑热闹而已？”
嗯，当然会有人不赞成这种盛况空前看起来似乎很像反政府的游行，可是请不要搞错，净选盟要的不是换政府，而是公平干净的投票机制。
净选盟没有反政府，也没有说可以代表大马人民。只要国阵政府可以在公平透明的大选制度下胜出，净选盟的目标就达到。
别人有权不赞同你，他没有错。你要去游行，不是，是静坐，你也没有错。
请不要理会否定你的他们，至少你有勇气，总好比很多人譬如我自己坐在电脑前share, post, comment 来得有用。至少如果有一天国家真的改变，你可以堂堂正正告诉自己的子孙你的威水史，好比那些反对示威然后坐享其成来得实际。
如果有一天，马来西亚成了今天的新加坡香港日本韩国台湾，你可以知到你自己当初，也就是今天，有多伟大。
他们可以认为你浪费时间，螳臂当车。请你坚信你的信念。
心中那团火，请不要熄灭。
因为，如果没有当时的Martin Luther King, Jr. 不会有今天的美国。
民主，不是一朝一夕可以造出来的。民主，不久后希望不会再是天荒谬谈。
你今天的一小步，将会是大马未来的一大步，为实现一个将来实实在在有名有实民主社会掀开新一页。
这一次，将会是马来西亚的民主制度，全世界的民主社会的其中一个重要里程碑。
它不是第一次，也不会是最后一次。
不过，请不要盲目反对，不要趁火打劫。净选盟要的，不是反政府，也不是支持反对党。

致政府，我们从来没有说过讨厌国阵。没有说要国阵下台。我们要的只是-谁腐败，谁退下。
净选盟肯从之前（去年）的游行改成静坐，证明他们没有造反还是扰乱治安的想法，连动机也没有。
在国外参与净选盟活动的大马子民反而比在国内在自己的领土上真正为自己国家奋斗的勇士们更有安全感， 真的很讽刺。
怎么职责是保护人民的警察，反而伤得人民最深？怎么应该确保听民声、知民情、解民忧的政府，却因为自己的地位和面子，反而造成国不泰民不安？

谈政策，小弟孤陋寡闻，可是我知道，美国土著是印第安人，今天由大部分白人统治。可是没有一种族敢说美国本来是属于自己的。因为美国不属于任何一种人，不是白人，不是黑人，而是美国人。
同样在马来西亚，土著不是马来人，华人抑或印度人。可是为什么政府硬是要把马来人变成土著来捏造事实？就算是事实，那你50年来有公平施政吗？如果有，为什么会造成真正的土著也站出来示威诉求的局面？
为什么连高高在上的副首相也不能先以大马人自居？
为什么每次都说不要和邻国新加坡作比较，因为他们面积小，然后又说相比起印尼华侨，大马华人已经很幸运了。
拜托，如果不拿比我们好的国家来比较，难道拿比我们差的不然？岂不是自欺欺人然后得到那些不知所谓不切实际的满足感？今天你可以说我们比印尼好，等着瞧吧，印尼超越我们，是迟早的事。
美国英国，就算世界典型地认为它们是白人国家，可是一个美国英国黑人可以士气高昂毫不犹豫自豪地告诉全世界他是美国英国公民，因为那个国家让他有一份归宿感。
至今，身为大马公民的我，很可惜，在自己的国家身上，找不到。

注：我不可以代表净选盟，更加不可以代表大马人民说话。我只是一个在国外为所有为大马未来奋斗的勇士们加油打气祷告的---大马子民。

男人30歲之前要知道的事

Don't know who the author is or his/her credibility, but worth a while reading:


男人30歲之前要知道的事

1，事業永遠第一

雖然金錢不是萬能的，但沒有錢是萬萬不能的，雖然這句話很俗，但絕對有道理，所以30歲之前，請把你大部分精力放在你的事業上。

2，別把錢看得太重

不要抱怨自己現在工資低，銀行存款4位數以下，看不到前途，現在要做的就是努力學習，即使你文憑再高，怎麼把理論運用到實踐還是需要一個很長的鍛煉過程，社會永遠是一所最博大的大學，它讓你學到的知識遠比你在學校學到的重要得多，所以同樣，你也別太介意學歷低。 30歲之前靠自己能力買車買房的人還是極少。

3，學會體諒父母

別嫌他們嘮叨，等你為人父了你就知道可憐天下父母心，在他們眼裡你還是個孩子，但他們真的老了，現在得你哄他們開心了，也許只要你的一個電話，一點小禮物，就可以讓他們安心，很容易做到。

4，交上好朋友

朋友對你一生都影響重大，不要去結識太多酒肉朋友，至少得有一個能在關鍵時刻幫助你的朋友，如果遇到這麼一個人，就好好把握，日後必定有用，不管他現在是富還是窮。

5，別太相信愛情

心中要有愛，但請別說也別相信那些瓊瑤阿姨小說裡面的山盟海誓，世上本無永恆，重要的是責任，但女人心海底針，心變了，一切都成枉然，你要做的就是該出手時就出手，該放手時別猶豫。 30歲之前的愛情不是假的，但只是大多數人都沒有能真正把握好的能力，所以學會量力而行。

6，別擔心至今還保留初吻

愛情不在多而在精，別以為自己20多歲還沒碰過女孩子就害怕自己永遠找不到老婆。以後你會有很多機會認識女孩子，要知道這個社會雖然男人多於女人，但現實是女人其實比男人更擔心這個問題。男人30一枝花，你在升值而不是貶值，成熟的愛情往往更美麗更長久，所以不要像瘋狗一樣看到女孩就想追，學會品味寂寞。

7，不要沉迷於任何東西

所謂玩物而喪志，網絡遊戲是你在出校門之前玩的，你現在沒有多餘的時間和精力花費到這上面，否則你透支的東西以後都得償還。一個人要有興趣，愛好，但請分清楚輕重。

8，年輕沒有失敗

不要遇到挫折就灰心，年輕人要時刻保持積極向上的態度。失敗了，重來過；失去了，再爭取別的。錯過了，要分析，下次來，要把握；幼稚了，下次，成熟點。不要緊，會好的，哪怕到了極點，也不要放棄，相信一定可以挺過去。不要消極，會好的。曾經的錯，過去了，總不能回味在過去。現在的，很好，累完了，很舒服。不要傷，總會有人在支撐你。

9，不要輕易崇拜或者鄙視一個人

人都有偶像，但請擁有你自己的個性。不要刻意去模仿一個人，因為你就是你，是唯一的，獨一無二的，要有自信。也不要全盤否定一個人，每個人是有價值的，如果你不能理解他，也請學會接受。

10，要有責任心

不管你曾經怎樣，但請從現在開始做一個正直的人。男人要有責任心，無論是工作還是生活上，一個有責任心的人才能讓別人有安全感，才能讓別人覺得你是一個值得信賴的人。我們不要懦弱，但請不要傷害愛你的人和你愛的人，尤其是善良的女孩，因為這個世界善良的女孩不多了，即使不想擁有，但也請讓她保持她美麗的心。

11，男人的外貌並不重要

不要為自己的長相身高而過分擔心，一個心地善良，為人正直的男人遠比那些空有英俊相貌，挺拔身材但內心齷齪的男人要帥得多。如果有人以貌取人，請不要太在意，因為你不用去為一個低級趣味的人而難過。

12，學會保護身體

不要以為現在抽煙喝酒，熬夜通宵也沒什麼事。那是因為你的身體正處於你一生的黃金時段。 30歲以後你就能明白力不從心這個詞的意義了，身體是革命的本錢，沒有好的身體什麼也做不了，所以要盡量讓自己過有規律的健康生活。

13，別覺得一事無成

你現在還沒有資格談成功，當然如果你有千萬資產的除外。一開始太固定的職業並不一定是好事，或許在不斷的改行當中，你會學到更豐富的知識，而且可以挖掘出自己的潛能，找到最適合你的工作。

14，請認真工作

即使你現在的工作再怎麼無聊再怎麼低級，也請你認真去對待，要知道任何成功人士都是從最小的事做起，或許你現在學不到多麼了不起的知識，但起碼你要學會良好的工作態度和工作方法，這對以後很重要。

15，請認真對待感情

不要羨慕那些換女人像換鞋一樣的花花公子，逢場作戲的愛情只是讓你浪費時間浪費精力，一個人最痛苦的不是找不到愛人，而是心中沒有了愛，當你把我愛你3個字變成你最容易說的一句話時，那麼你在愛情的世界裡已經很難找到真正的幸福了。愛情沒有公平，總有一個人比對方付出得多，即使沒有結果，也別覺得不值，因為你的付出不光是為了她，也是為了你自己的愛，為愛付出是很可貴的，贊自己一下。

16，請留一點童心

在內心深處，哪怕只是一個很小的角落裡，請保持一份童心，不是幼稚，但有的時候單純一點會讓你很快樂。所以不要太計較得失，生活本無完美。

Yes I should

I should watch and listen to more Western i.e. American/German shows and songs, instead of Hong Kong TVB. Immerse myself in those to remind myself about the yearn for being in overseas. I would miss home so badly and can't wait to go back otherwise. Yes, I should.
I should watch more American lawyer shows to find back my tendency of speaking American. I should watch more Hong Kong TVB lawyer shows regain my passion and enthusiasm towards this profession - wearing wig and gown. I lost it long enough. Yes I should.
But I think I have screwed my exams. Uhm, I should think more positive and live more happily. If you had faith in it before, you will still have it. Don't give up on your faith. We all live in hope. Never lose it. Yes I should:)

No matter how bad things get at this moment, the one thing you should never ever do, is to give up on hope. Don't stop believing, no matter how frail the hope is. There're miracles.

Tough and resilience, the key point to survive.

考试过后

这一次，真的很不一样。

之前临时抱佛脚，之前滥竽充数，之前浑水摸鱼，这一次真的很不一样。

也许课程编纲不一样，也许考试不再全都压在一段时期。

分数算法不一样，试卷的一分其实经过那复杂难懂的转换后变成了不只一分。

错一题，失去的是几分。

问答方式也不再一样，不再是以前的essay，这次很多都是MCQ、SAQ。对就对，错就错。不再是什么没有对或错，没有什么模棱两可。

更重要的，及格分数也不一样，不再是以前degree的40%，而是60%。

去年至少我很难得的考试前一个月就开始慌张，这一次，我竟然完全没有考试压力，没有难得的精神紧张。心里一直告诉自己没问题的。

可是，上考场时，事实真的很相反。

也许是，暴风雨前的平静。

真的很平静，平静到我自己也吓倒。我还可以在考试前一天看戏。

其实这课程很多都是'Just go in and do it'的。大多数都是口试。就算是笔试，好几科都是open book test。

只有两三科是真的需要埋头苦读的。

可是事实很残酷。

我不知道是不是天也不要帮我。林林种种的科目考试，让我跌了好多次。碰了一鼻子灰。

第一次跌倒，Opinion Writing, 就算是open book test, 却可以把and 和or弄错，也许会导致red light fail。

第二次碰灰，RDOC，遇上也许全班七十个人当中惟有的两位，两个小时误当三个小时，自己之前粗心不检查考试时间，凶多吉少。

第三和第四次，最难的两科，Civil Litigation and Remedies 和 Criminal Litigation, Evidence and Sentencing。考试前一个礼拜还去参加什么比赛，学人家下伦敦作mini pupillage。虽然住了两天那种背包旅行的budget hostel，见识不少，可是整体上，学倒没学到什么，反而花了不少。考试到了一点积极用功都没有。赔了夫人又折兵。

我不知道我i还要倒霉多久。

也许这一切都是自作自受。

可是我知道，现在求神拜佛都没有用。

看来不及格和重考的日子不远。

除了STPM明知理科不行还硬闯理科外，我从来不需要担心也不曾考试不及格。

看来这次还是要接受事实了。

我重考没问题，可是很多计划都得押后。

计划押后没问题，可是该怎么跟我妈交待。她花了不少钱，自己一手一脚转回来所有的血汗钱，把我送到外国。

我就这样，浪费了。

之前一直担心找不到pupillage，不断找办法。可是有用吗？

之前一直找工作，什么工作都去做，可以为了找到一份只是餐馆的工作也很开心，又有用吗?

不介意吃人家吃剩的食物，省得一餐就欣慰。为了生活不停死命省钱，有用吗？

想尽快出来社会好让我妈荣休，可以吗?可能退休都还需要一段日子。

我知道任该往前看，往好的方面想，吸收和散发多点正能量。可是有时候，应该还是要懂得对自己诚实些，要自己、比自己去面对现实。

这次考试不及格不能和大队一起7月被called to the bar，看来真的会给人家嘲笑看不起。

我输的，不只是自己的面子，而是全家人的。

我不知道我是不是做错了什么。还是做少了什么。

我只是想要好像其他人一样，安安全全一次地考到好成绩，顺顺利利在这里找到pupillage，赚多一点钱，让我妈早点享清福，很难很贪心吗？

也许，就是没有努力。

可是，我真的感觉到考试真的没有问题的！

为什么我会那么愚蠢？那么倒霉？那么懒惰？？？

没有谁可以怪。

人家用功，自己没有。不过至少，我没有自私。问心无愧。

无论如何，希望在人间。

考试成绩一天还没出，就还有一天的希望。

刘祖康，没有问题的！

想好的，做好的。

譬如说，这一次考试错一题是失去几分，也可以是对一题就可以得到很多分。

凡是往好的方面想。

考试后的连两天一直眼皮跳。如果民间信仰是存在的话，希望左凶右吉；不是左眼跳财，右眼跳灾。

耳听为虚，眼见为实。

直到成绩放榜那一天，不要认输！

会有转机，会有生机，会有奇迹的！

相信就好。

Sometimes we just need to keep smiling and have faith in it. Things will be better and really fine after all. :)
Don't lose hope.

孝顺

曾经感动千万人的漫画，在我很小很小的时候就看过的：

终于给我找到了。

还有每次看都回流泪的：

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YD1DTcApSgQ&feature=relmfu

孝顺，要及时。

Rocky

突然想起我以前养的那只小狗。

它叫Rocky。是我妈原本要拿来给我小舅养来看家的。我妈，从来，根本就没有打算要养小动物。她嫌很麻烦。

阴差阳错，就这样就养了 Rocky 。

Rocky，是因为ＴＶＢ当时有一套剧集里的狗的名字。

跟它有很多回忆的。

它曾经被车撞过，一只脚受伤，走路跛脚。

它曾经被ＤＢＫＬ还是什么动物防止协会捉去，后来很不容易地把它用钱赎回来。

它很喜欢跟你玩。每次我回家，都会不停地扒我双腿。每次洗地，它都会跟着那把扫把。也许因为这样，我妈时常嫌它碍手碍脚，直接用扫把打它。

它很乖，要大小便会不停地向你吠，要你放他出去，因为它知道不可以在家庭院内“解放”。我们没有训练它的，是它自己学会的，很怪。因为这样，它不小心跟那些来历不明的流浪狗“打种”。

我妈不知道，不知道哪一次就这样用扫把狠狠地打了它一下，它肚子里的小狗胎死腹中我们不知道。直到它真的很不舒服，看它要生可是又生不出的样子，丢了它在后院几天，才肯带它去看兽医。

它曾经被我妈用麻包袋装着然后丢弃，后来有心无意地在路上遇到它，还是舍不得地把它抱回家。

它曾经不知道吃错什么，呕了一些很奇怪的‘虫’。

现在想起，原来它也带给我们很多回忆。

曾经为了它，我和我妈吵了好多次。

不知道哪年哪月哪一天领养了它，也不知道哪年哪月哪一天，它去世了。

因为它病重，忘了因为什么原因，又没有带它去看兽医。

我还记得我们那时把它关在笼里。平时家里没有笼子的，不知道怎样和为什么会把它关上。

它走，导火线应该是我妈给了它吃鸡蛋。

不能怪我妈，虽然当我小舅因为它是母狗而拒绝时（我妈拿它回来时还以为是指公的，hence the name - Rocky ），它还是一直小狗，是我誓死要领养它。

那种三分钟热度很快就过。

虽然我还是帮它冲凉，喂食，很多时候都是由我妈和印尼工人代劳。

连埋葬的功夫，也是我妈做的。

曾经，我们凡事吃东西时都要想着它。吃KFC厚着脸皮跟counter拿纸袋打包骨头回去。

原来真的很多回忆。只可惜没有拍下照片。当时没有珍惜。

连它什么时候出生、被领养、去世都没有记录下来。

因为 Rocky ，我后来无论多喜欢小动物尤其是小狗，我都不再领养了。

因为我知道我没有这样的能力和矜持，没有必要害了它们。

曾经我妈拿了一些与回来，“沟渠鱼”，很容易养。可是不知道什么原因最后还是全部死亡。

我到现在还是很想念 Rocky 。

希望它在天堂过得好好地。希望它如果还是一只狗，它可以找到更好的主人。

选择写下这篇文章，因为我只到很多我对它的回忆越来越少，希望藉着这样，我可以把它带给我们的美好回忆，抓住，然后停留在这里。

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