31/12/2009 12.50am
today is the last day of 2009!!!!
tml nite going to club..so by the time i upload the new post, it's already 2010!!!
i created this blog one year ago...i remembred cz i wana write everything abt what n how i feel since the girl be with him...n 31/12/08, i stayed at home n playing pc on the bed..tats what i did...but now, they broke up...
compared to this year, wow, this countdown really more happening than last year...sunway opera club with the 'boy' gang plus sy, shirley, jiayu, leanyiny, huixin....n probably before that may join zhanzhan menghuei them in karaoke..haha
anyway, 2009 was a bad year for me afterall....just really really hope everyhting will turn betetr when it comes to 2010...
n, my 2nd year result! gotta get gud result n get into cardiff...
n, when in UK, get some money fly to Cologne n meet my favoriteartist!!!n connect with them always if possible(then i can get rid of those stupid crushing feeling)
n, after degree, appy the US's bar esp CA's bar (if can't then NY)....be an attorney there n stay there forever!!!!
n, be with my loved ones!!!!
n, try to go for my 'becoming an artist' dream>.<
lastly,gotta settle my assignment first! due on jan 2010!!!!
so, luck for me!2010!!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
nothing
2009/12/29 12.32am
nothing...
it's really nothing....
2009 going to be in history very soon...time flies....how was my 2009? i hv no idea...
anyhow...just hope for a brand new happy 2010 for myself^^
originally, i was waiting jx to get to my house.for a number of things...he gave his souvenier from Dubai to me( which he distributed in shogun tat day, n he said he din bring 3+3's, n ask us claim from him later in his house.n tat day he told me he actually din get enough for the souvenier(like he din expect for kevin, hweichih etc...),but anyhow, he still keep ALL , that means 5 for 3+3, each perosn one even for those not in malaysia...man! how overhwhelm n warm in my heart i can be? that's mean 3+3 really did leave a huge impact, nope, precisely, have a high high high position in his heart^^)besides giving me the souvenier, he return the money he owe me(which he reminded me jennyu n jiayu still owe me -shirley's present..hehe), gv me the BBQ christmas eve's photo n pass jiayu's 21 birthday card to me....keep on waiting but din receive his call...
suprisingly, at 10.57pm..my cell phone rang...i tot jx finally here, but unexpectedly, the phone show the name : KENN JI.....gosh! how come he will suddenly call me? i tot i had loose this fren since he got his 'happily ever after'..haha... he keep on explained to me that he was very busy before this, he had family problem to settle as well...i said its ok, frankly, i dun mind that he din call me for so long although i call him at first few months back(called twice n i chat with his mum for an hour but not him=.=,he had not get back home yet but din return my call)...as long as he won't get 'contaminated' by devil..haha...anyway, i told him to hang up since he was driving...i said i can call him after he get back home, just miss call me n i'll call back...after negotiating by me telling him my phone bill is fixed charge n i wont sleep tat early, he said ok...but anyhow, v still talk on cell phone for quite a while...really a few minutes,pretty long, so i think wasted his credit a litlle bit..haha..but i can feel that, most importantly, he wana tell me, he said meiwan ask him to call me cz i hv a lot of things to tell him....am i? i dun think so=.=probably its all about him n his gf...but anyhow, i really dun mind he get together with her...as long as he think that she suit him the best n he wont be 'polluted'...so, i wont talk a single thing of her gf in front of him unless he ask for my view...probably meiwan hv more things to tell him than me..hahah...so after a 'while'..v hang up n said that he will miss call me after reach home n bathe n i will call back...probably around 12am..so now, almost 1am..=.=i m still waiting....gosh...a little bit sleepy now...
after a while, my phone rang again..ya, i kno its jx this time...11.13pm...he called me n say he is coming....ya, so he got here n gv me those things i mentioned earlier..he said he just finish yamcha with waikwan jiasen them...uhm..i asked about 31st's plan....cz originally was party in ahotel n apparently change to clubbing or jennyu's house.....jiasen is the organiser n he was there jz now, so i asked him but he said not sure yet cz seems not everyone happy with all the those plan..(there will b somebody dun like either hotel/club..)anyway, i said i will update the plan with them time to time...
ya, i called hitz.fm to confirm the jiayu's gotcha call....i see...they work in this way: they will only inform u that day ur fren got the gotcha call...so i was too early to call to ask since i demand on 4th jan 2010..but i told them tat its jiayu's birthday tat day...n if they never pick my gotcha, at least inform me earlier then v can arrange other plan..hehe..but they explain that time a lot of holiday around..so cant inform early even they try to help out,sadly but yes..too bad..they asked wat's my gotcha about...i called twice i think..the hitz.fm person even recognised my voice when i called second time=.=they said they will try the best...so...hopefully they will pick up my gotcha....please!!!
ya...whole post is just like that...
nothing much, nothing special, nothing more...
it's just nothing.......^^
nothing...
it's really nothing....
2009 going to be in history very soon...time flies....how was my 2009? i hv no idea...
anyhow...just hope for a brand new happy 2010 for myself^^
originally, i was waiting jx to get to my house.for a number of things...he gave his souvenier from Dubai to me( which he distributed in shogun tat day, n he said he din bring 3+3's, n ask us claim from him later in his house.n tat day he told me he actually din get enough for the souvenier(like he din expect for kevin, hweichih etc...),but anyhow, he still keep ALL , that means 5 for 3+3, each perosn one even for those not in malaysia...man! how overhwhelm n warm in my heart i can be? that's mean 3+3 really did leave a huge impact, nope, precisely, have a high high high position in his heart^^)besides giving me the souvenier, he return the money he owe me(which he reminded me jennyu n jiayu still owe me -shirley's present..hehe), gv me the BBQ christmas eve's photo n pass jiayu's 21 birthday card to me....keep on waiting but din receive his call...
suprisingly, at 10.57pm..my cell phone rang...i tot jx finally here, but unexpectedly, the phone show the name : KENN JI.....gosh! how come he will suddenly call me? i tot i had loose this fren since he got his 'happily ever after'..haha... he keep on explained to me that he was very busy before this, he had family problem to settle as well...i said its ok, frankly, i dun mind that he din call me for so long although i call him at first few months back(called twice n i chat with his mum for an hour but not him=.=,he had not get back home yet but din return my call)...as long as he won't get 'contaminated' by devil..haha...anyway, i told him to hang up since he was driving...i said i can call him after he get back home, just miss call me n i'll call back...after negotiating by me telling him my phone bill is fixed charge n i wont sleep tat early, he said ok...but anyhow, v still talk on cell phone for quite a while...really a few minutes,pretty long, so i think wasted his credit a litlle bit..haha..but i can feel that, most importantly, he wana tell me, he said meiwan ask him to call me cz i hv a lot of things to tell him....am i? i dun think so=.=probably its all about him n his gf...but anyhow, i really dun mind he get together with her...as long as he think that she suit him the best n he wont be 'polluted'...so, i wont talk a single thing of her gf in front of him unless he ask for my view...probably meiwan hv more things to tell him than me..hahah...so after a 'while'..v hang up n said that he will miss call me after reach home n bathe n i will call back...probably around 12am..so now, almost 1am..=.=i m still waiting....gosh...a little bit sleepy now...
after a while, my phone rang again..ya, i kno its jx this time...11.13pm...he called me n say he is coming....ya, so he got here n gv me those things i mentioned earlier..he said he just finish yamcha with waikwan jiasen them...uhm..i asked about 31st's plan....cz originally was party in ahotel n apparently change to clubbing or jennyu's house.....jiasen is the organiser n he was there jz now, so i asked him but he said not sure yet cz seems not everyone happy with all the those plan..(there will b somebody dun like either hotel/club..)anyway, i said i will update the plan with them time to time...
ya, i called hitz.fm to confirm the jiayu's gotcha call....i see...they work in this way: they will only inform u that day ur fren got the gotcha call...so i was too early to call to ask since i demand on 4th jan 2010..but i told them tat its jiayu's birthday tat day...n if they never pick my gotcha, at least inform me earlier then v can arrange other plan..hehe..but they explain that time a lot of holiday around..so cant inform early even they try to help out,sadly but yes..too bad..they asked wat's my gotcha about...i called twice i think..the hitz.fm person even recognised my voice when i called second time=.=they said they will try the best...so...hopefully they will pick up my gotcha....please!!!
ya...whole post is just like that...
nothing much, nothing special, nothing more...
it's just nothing.......^^
Sunday, December 27, 2009
他
二零零九年十二月二十七日 下午一点正
耶诞节过了。。。
今年的耶诞，没有他的过了。。。
平安夜在家希家开烧烤会，第二天因为知道他还没从外坡回来，所以也没call他。没有他，谁，我也不想出去，所以也就没找朋友了。。。
就算他在KL, 我也知道，他也未必会在耶诞正日跟我出来。。。
二十四号在公司有交换礼物，晚上BBQ,二十五号也没出去，二十六号，昨天，同样的没出去，而昨天，振语傍晚来找我借东西（他打给我是还以为有节目，不过就算有节目，我也没什么心情出去），后来也就只是昨天，我表弟表妹晚上去了他们阿姨家，第二天一早该要回了。。。（详细点会在下个post）
这两天没出去都在追电视剧《宫心计》。昨晚终于看完了，好神奇。
今天起身，也不知道为什么，就特别想念一个人，我不知道是谁，就只是空虚，想一早起身就看到一个人在我身旁。。。不停在搞清楚到底我想念的人是谁，德国演员？他？还是那个人？
我不知道，就一直都搞不清，我现在到底是不是又喜欢上了另一个人。。。
那天clubbing,开始有感觉，可是我还是清楚那感觉不强，不是那种喜欢的感觉。可是那天平安夜烧烤后，我似乎感觉到我好像有一点喜欢上她了。。可是我看得出，她对我没什么特别。所以我也一直告诉自己别喜欢上她。。。还以为我还是钟情于第一个我所谓的他，可是现在我真的有点搞不清。。。就算喜欢上第二个他也许会比第一个他好，可是再想想，其实也不间的那么简单。。。
无论如何，今天，不知道为何就决定传短讯给那个在远方的第一个他。就跟他说，回到吉隆坡了call我，我要找他。（之前他说可能拜六回到KL）。没有也不敢奢望他会回复，可是事情总是这样，没有抱希望，也许那样事情还可能会发生。结果就在没有任何‘他会回我短讯’的希望下，大概半小时后吧，电话短讯铃声响了。
一开始告诉自己，不一定是他，别抱希望。就是那个无聊法则，真的是他回了我的短讯。看着电话上她的名字，真的很不想打开那短讯，一来我不想看到拒绝，二来‘他名字出现在我手机上，无论是来电显示又或短讯’对我来说都是不可思议，不敢奢望，期盼很久的，所以很想这一刻（他名字出现在我手机上）就这样永远停止。真的以后很想我手机可以时常这样出现他名字，越多越好，时间，是永远。。。。。。
话说回来，他说没那么快回KL，因为有朋友new year去找他。我就问他是不是会在那边直到元旦，还有他朋友去那边找他那么好？按了‘send'。很快的，他回了（多么快的他回了我的短讯，多希望以后的以后，他都会这样，我也可以不停跟他讲电话传短讯，他都会奉陪），要面子的我，又不要马上看，这个post打到这里，才打开来看，一来我不想那么快回他，感觉到好像我一直在等她的短讯似的，迫不及待要回他（不过事实却是），因为平时他也甚至不回我短讯啊！二来，我怕我看到令我不开心的内容，至少我可以继续写这篇，在这边诉苦，因为也只有这边，我才可以说出平时我不干不可以说的话。。。。是的，每次看她的短讯，都很紧张很害怕，也许，我真的承受不了被我喜欢的人拒绝吧。。。
看了那封简讯，他在差不多四十分钟前传来的。他说他还会在那边住上一段日子。。。看来近期内我不能见到他了。。。没法子，只好说知道了，就叫他回来就通知我吧。。。希望他回这样做。。。还有，我问他那他不就不能上网了吗？（因为他在那边的日子，我都没看到他上线。）原本打算问他要不要我帮他check mail 之类的。。要就给我密码（好像有点唐突=.=)可是由于短讯太长，还是在这封内没写上去。若有下一封再问他吧。。。。可是，都不知道他会不会让我有像一封回他的机会。。。。
很想看到他。
很想一起身睁开眼看到的第一个是他。
我这个人很奇怪，明星偶像和现实生活合并可以对我影响很大。。。所以，因为他喜欢那美国组合，所以我每次听他们的歌就会想到他，如果跟他一起听，就更加幸福。。。所以我上次才那么希望他可以跟我一起去看那美国组合演唱会，赴汤蹈火也希望可以得到入门票跟他一起去。最后他不去，我也很希望能给他看我那天录下的。因为金马伦给我有一点德国的感觉，所以现在去金马伦都会让我很想念那些德国演员（如戏太深^^）除了很想去德国跟那些演员在一起外（梦想！），就因为那永远只能成为不能实现的梦想，所以去金马伦，非他不去。只有跟他一起，能够在我去金马伦’触景伤情‘那刻让我没那么想念那班德国演员。因为始终德国演员我还是很很很喜欢，可是我知道那只是梦想，也只有和我喜欢的人一起去金马伦，才不会那样空虚，加上他说过他以后可能到比利时，比利时在德国附近，所以有时会幻想若我和他一起到比利时过我们的生活，管他德国美国，都不重要。（又一个，梦想！）有时真的觉得自己很白痴，可是就是不懂如何形容这种白痴，也不懂要如何没有这种白痴。。。
一点四十九分（现在两点）他回了我简讯说那边可以上网，我就回他为何最近不看她上网呢？还有平时他都不会那么得空回我简讯，不是说忙就是没钱了，怎么这次那么好都回我简讯？
看来只要他停止回我简讯，这post才会停。可是我还有很多东西要做啊！洗澡，家务，剪头发，去家希家一下。。。。现在已经两点多了，我平时都会觉得这样很空虚的！可是想到对象跟他，什么事都可以拖。。。很傻，也许是所谓的爱情的力量吧！
两点零四回了他简讯，同样在两点零四分他回了我，没多说，就只是说‘哈哈，没有啦...’
每次短讯都是我长他短的。。。虽然都有回我，有些还回得很快。。可是，是她觉得我烦了吗？还是其实她在跟他的另一半传着短讯就顺便回我的？算了吧，别想太多，这些，都不到我来管。。。要管，也管不着。。。
还该回他吗？回什么？每次，只要是熟人，我都会是最后一个结束对话的，例如短讯。。那，这次呢？让他结束，我不回他，他不会在意我不回他，我又不会烦着他。。可以吗？
刚刚吃东西一直在向该回他什么，赢了那么长时间，终于决定先别结束这谈话，跟他说每次传那么短的简讯很浪费钱，问他是不是传着简讯给他的她才顺便回复我。最近没上网，那边很好玩吗？
知道他不会再回复我的，不过应该还好，我看，我应付得来。假如他回复，那就是意外收获咯！
刚才下雨，忘记把外边晒着的东西收回来，结果被我妈骂。
原来他可以让我为了他做一件事情做得那么的专心。。。。。。。
耶诞节过了。。。
今年的耶诞，没有他的过了。。。
平安夜在家希家开烧烤会，第二天因为知道他还没从外坡回来，所以也没call他。没有他，谁，我也不想出去，所以也就没找朋友了。。。
就算他在KL, 我也知道，他也未必会在耶诞正日跟我出来。。。
二十四号在公司有交换礼物，晚上BBQ,二十五号也没出去，二十六号，昨天，同样的没出去，而昨天，振语傍晚来找我借东西（他打给我是还以为有节目，不过就算有节目，我也没什么心情出去），后来也就只是昨天，我表弟表妹晚上去了他们阿姨家，第二天一早该要回了。。。（详细点会在下个post）
这两天没出去都在追电视剧《宫心计》。昨晚终于看完了，好神奇。
今天起身，也不知道为什么，就特别想念一个人，我不知道是谁，就只是空虚，想一早起身就看到一个人在我身旁。。。不停在搞清楚到底我想念的人是谁，德国演员？他？还是那个人？
我不知道，就一直都搞不清，我现在到底是不是又喜欢上了另一个人。。。
那天clubbing,开始有感觉，可是我还是清楚那感觉不强，不是那种喜欢的感觉。可是那天平安夜烧烤后，我似乎感觉到我好像有一点喜欢上她了。。可是我看得出，她对我没什么特别。所以我也一直告诉自己别喜欢上她。。。还以为我还是钟情于第一个我所谓的他，可是现在我真的有点搞不清。。。就算喜欢上第二个他也许会比第一个他好，可是再想想，其实也不间的那么简单。。。
无论如何，今天，不知道为何就决定传短讯给那个在远方的第一个他。就跟他说，回到吉隆坡了call我，我要找他。（之前他说可能拜六回到KL）。没有也不敢奢望他会回复，可是事情总是这样，没有抱希望，也许那样事情还可能会发生。结果就在没有任何‘他会回我短讯’的希望下，大概半小时后吧，电话短讯铃声响了。
一开始告诉自己，不一定是他，别抱希望。就是那个无聊法则，真的是他回了我的短讯。看着电话上她的名字，真的很不想打开那短讯，一来我不想看到拒绝，二来‘他名字出现在我手机上，无论是来电显示又或短讯’对我来说都是不可思议，不敢奢望，期盼很久的，所以很想这一刻（他名字出现在我手机上）就这样永远停止。真的以后很想我手机可以时常这样出现他名字，越多越好，时间，是永远。。。。。。
话说回来，他说没那么快回KL，因为有朋友new year去找他。我就问他是不是会在那边直到元旦，还有他朋友去那边找他那么好？按了‘send'。很快的，他回了（多么快的他回了我的短讯，多希望以后的以后，他都会这样，我也可以不停跟他讲电话传短讯，他都会奉陪），要面子的我，又不要马上看，这个post打到这里，才打开来看，一来我不想那么快回他，感觉到好像我一直在等她的短讯似的，迫不及待要回他（不过事实却是），因为平时他也甚至不回我短讯啊！二来，我怕我看到令我不开心的内容，至少我可以继续写这篇，在这边诉苦，因为也只有这边，我才可以说出平时我不干不可以说的话。。。。是的，每次看她的短讯，都很紧张很害怕，也许，我真的承受不了被我喜欢的人拒绝吧。。。
看了那封简讯，他在差不多四十分钟前传来的。他说他还会在那边住上一段日子。。。看来近期内我不能见到他了。。。没法子，只好说知道了，就叫他回来就通知我吧。。。希望他回这样做。。。还有，我问他那他不就不能上网了吗？（因为他在那边的日子，我都没看到他上线。）原本打算问他要不要我帮他check mail 之类的。。要就给我密码（好像有点唐突=.=)可是由于短讯太长，还是在这封内没写上去。若有下一封再问他吧。。。。可是，都不知道他会不会让我有像一封回他的机会。。。。
很想看到他。
很想一起身睁开眼看到的第一个是他。
我这个人很奇怪，明星偶像和现实生活合并可以对我影响很大。。。所以，因为他喜欢那美国组合，所以我每次听他们的歌就会想到他，如果跟他一起听，就更加幸福。。。所以我上次才那么希望他可以跟我一起去看那美国组合演唱会，赴汤蹈火也希望可以得到入门票跟他一起去。最后他不去，我也很希望能给他看我那天录下的。因为金马伦给我有一点德国的感觉，所以现在去金马伦都会让我很想念那些德国演员（如戏太深^^）除了很想去德国跟那些演员在一起外（梦想！），就因为那永远只能成为不能实现的梦想，所以去金马伦，非他不去。只有跟他一起，能够在我去金马伦’触景伤情‘那刻让我没那么想念那班德国演员。因为始终德国演员我还是很很很喜欢，可是我知道那只是梦想，也只有和我喜欢的人一起去金马伦，才不会那样空虚，加上他说过他以后可能到比利时，比利时在德国附近，所以有时会幻想若我和他一起到比利时过我们的生活，管他德国美国，都不重要。（又一个，梦想！）有时真的觉得自己很白痴，可是就是不懂如何形容这种白痴，也不懂要如何没有这种白痴。。。
一点四十九分（现在两点）他回了我简讯说那边可以上网，我就回他为何最近不看她上网呢？还有平时他都不会那么得空回我简讯，不是说忙就是没钱了，怎么这次那么好都回我简讯？
看来只要他停止回我简讯，这post才会停。可是我还有很多东西要做啊！洗澡，家务，剪头发，去家希家一下。。。。现在已经两点多了，我平时都会觉得这样很空虚的！可是想到对象跟他，什么事都可以拖。。。很傻，也许是所谓的爱情的力量吧！
两点零四回了他简讯，同样在两点零四分他回了我，没多说，就只是说‘哈哈，没有啦...’
每次短讯都是我长他短的。。。虽然都有回我，有些还回得很快。。可是，是她觉得我烦了吗？还是其实她在跟他的另一半传着短讯就顺便回我的？算了吧，别想太多，这些，都不到我来管。。。要管，也管不着。。。
还该回他吗？回什么？每次，只要是熟人，我都会是最后一个结束对话的，例如短讯。。那，这次呢？让他结束，我不回他，他不会在意我不回他，我又不会烦着他。。可以吗？
刚刚吃东西一直在向该回他什么，赢了那么长时间，终于决定先别结束这谈话，跟他说每次传那么短的简讯很浪费钱，问他是不是传着简讯给他的她才顺便回复我。最近没上网，那边很好玩吗？
知道他不会再回复我的，不过应该还好，我看，我应付得来。假如他回复，那就是意外收获咯！
刚才下雨，忘记把外边晒着的东西收回来，结果被我妈骂。
原来他可以让我为了他做一件事情做得那么的专心。。。。。。。
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
今天
二零零九年十二月月二十三号 晚上十一点三十二分
今天....
原本以为没什么好写也不打算写的,可是不知为什么还是写了。
今天，又面试了一个新的telemarketer,因为之前那个男的因为不是offer他想的职位后决定不要来了， 而又一个要应征sales的等了他们几乎一个小时。过后我们回家他们都还没面试完毕。
今天下班，因为要去买明天公司的圣诞交换礼物，想着要找谁陪。。该死的，第一个想到的，竟然是他。
一直都很想打电话又或传简讯给他，可是就是提不起勇气。。。终于，回家路上，在等嘉裕买礼物制的同时，打了个电话给他，可是他没接。后来我也知道她不会回我电话了，虽然心里不停希望他会打回来，可是还是不断强逼的告诉自己那是不可能的。
一直到晚上，虽然都很想再打给他第二次，叫他陪我去买礼物，可是还是没有勇气。而又不想叫别人陪，因为不知道为什么，只想要他陪我一起去，别人无论是谁给到我什么意见，都对我来说不过如此。
终于，晚上大约十点钟，我表妹叫我到地铁站去载她。在路途，终于提起勇气，准备好了许多借口，告诉自己就算今晚她不去也可先约他在平安夜或圣诞节那天见面，终于，打了电话给他。
最近发觉他已经好一段日子没上网了。猜想由于他曾说过这两个礼拜会很忙，所以也许是吧！后来这次，一听到电话通了，若有人接，那头传来的会是他，心又跳得特别快。那头不是他是别人还好，只要一想到是他，心，真的会跳得特别快。。。对，后来这次，他接了。他说他在bukittinggi，靠！那就是靠近金马伦，我非得跟他一起去不可才会开心的地方。我问他什么时候回来，圣诞节回到了吗？她说可能礼拜五礼拜六吧。看来圣诞节不能跟她出去了。。。还以为他会很不耐烦的要赶快挂断，哪知后来我开玩笑的跟他说叫他买礼物给我，他还跟我继续开玩笑了一下。他说他看到菜卖给我吧，我就说他买后我还回他钱，他说这样不sincere, 那我就说买给我别跟我收钱就行啦。我说随便纪念品就行了，他又说那边其实没什么纪念品好买的。总之，我还是不停叫他买礼物给我，他就说看下先后转哦哦哦。。。哈哈。。短短一分钟十五秒的对话，一个她没有急着要挂断的电话，真的让我很开心。。。
后来收线后发觉隔壁车是我教补习的老板。。我说我去地铁站载人，他们说我是去载我女朋友。。。哈哈，我当然说不是，可是后来想起，若我那时去载的是他，我真的可以很开心，真的不会嫌麻烦，无论多晚多夜。。。。
现在又在想他，圣诞节了，他会再干嘛？我最想见的，也只是她。。平安夜，虽然weejun zhanzhan （sing k n steamboat at yuan,sunway)和3+3 shirley jiasen(BBQ) 他们都有计划，叫我一起去，我应该去3+3那边bbq 吧。。。无论如何，最想跟我一起过平安夜的，还是他。。。
今天还是有对那些德国演员强烈的感觉。。。真的很靠！
又或也许是吧，若我和他在一起，管它是德国美国演员或偶像，只要能和她在一起，我决不会再被他们纠缠着。。只要可以和他在一起，就算不去德国美国，我都可以很开心。。。
我真的很傻，也许，爱情，就是这样。。。
就只不过是一通电话，也许对他，真的不是什么，若他对我有意思他早就回我电话了。。。可是对我来说，竟然能够维持到现在，心还在微笑着。。。。
今天....
原本以为没什么好写也不打算写的,可是不知为什么还是写了。
今天，又面试了一个新的telemarketer,因为之前那个男的因为不是offer他想的职位后决定不要来了， 而又一个要应征sales的等了他们几乎一个小时。过后我们回家他们都还没面试完毕。
今天下班，因为要去买明天公司的圣诞交换礼物，想着要找谁陪。。该死的，第一个想到的，竟然是他。
一直都很想打电话又或传简讯给他，可是就是提不起勇气。。。终于，回家路上，在等嘉裕买礼物制的同时，打了个电话给他，可是他没接。后来我也知道她不会回我电话了，虽然心里不停希望他会打回来，可是还是不断强逼的告诉自己那是不可能的。
一直到晚上，虽然都很想再打给他第二次，叫他陪我去买礼物，可是还是没有勇气。而又不想叫别人陪，因为不知道为什么，只想要他陪我一起去，别人无论是谁给到我什么意见，都对我来说不过如此。
终于，晚上大约十点钟，我表妹叫我到地铁站去载她。在路途，终于提起勇气，准备好了许多借口，告诉自己就算今晚她不去也可先约他在平安夜或圣诞节那天见面，终于，打了电话给他。
最近发觉他已经好一段日子没上网了。猜想由于他曾说过这两个礼拜会很忙，所以也许是吧！后来这次，一听到电话通了，若有人接，那头传来的会是他，心又跳得特别快。那头不是他是别人还好，只要一想到是他，心，真的会跳得特别快。。。对，后来这次，他接了。他说他在bukittinggi，靠！那就是靠近金马伦，我非得跟他一起去不可才会开心的地方。我问他什么时候回来，圣诞节回到了吗？她说可能礼拜五礼拜六吧。看来圣诞节不能跟她出去了。。。还以为他会很不耐烦的要赶快挂断，哪知后来我开玩笑的跟他说叫他买礼物给我，他还跟我继续开玩笑了一下。他说他看到菜卖给我吧，我就说他买后我还回他钱，他说这样不sincere, 那我就说买给我别跟我收钱就行啦。我说随便纪念品就行了，他又说那边其实没什么纪念品好买的。总之，我还是不停叫他买礼物给我，他就说看下先后转哦哦哦。。。哈哈。。短短一分钟十五秒的对话，一个她没有急着要挂断的电话，真的让我很开心。。。
后来收线后发觉隔壁车是我教补习的老板。。我说我去地铁站载人，他们说我是去载我女朋友。。。哈哈，我当然说不是，可是后来想起，若我那时去载的是他，我真的可以很开心，真的不会嫌麻烦，无论多晚多夜。。。。
现在又在想他，圣诞节了，他会再干嘛？我最想见的，也只是她。。平安夜，虽然weejun zhanzhan （sing k n steamboat at yuan,sunway)和3+3 shirley jiasen(BBQ) 他们都有计划，叫我一起去，我应该去3+3那边bbq 吧。。。无论如何，最想跟我一起过平安夜的，还是他。。。
今天还是有对那些德国演员强烈的感觉。。。真的很靠！
又或也许是吧，若我和他在一起，管它是德国美国演员或偶像，只要能和她在一起，我决不会再被他们纠缠着。。只要可以和他在一起，就算不去德国美国，我都可以很开心。。。
我真的很傻，也许，爱情，就是这样。。。
就只不过是一通电话，也许对他，真的不是什么，若他对我有意思他早就回我电话了。。。可是对我来说，竟然能够维持到现在，心还在微笑着。。。。
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
回巢
二零零九年十二月二十二号 晚上十一点零九分
学记回巢已经是上个礼拜六的事了。。。当晚，因为明年今日我该不会在大马了，后来就算念完书回来可能大家也不知道还有没有联络，当晚有可能是我最后一次的回巢，所以就决定回去。。。一开始，当然大家会少不了有的尴尬。后来谈下谈下，终于大家还是破解了中间那块冷尴尬，无论什么都谈起来了。。。靠！当晚一去到报馆就到食堂。我要去买晚餐的。后来一不小心摔了个跤，有够丢脸的。。。
后来由于实在太闷了，一届分享后又一届，实在太闷了。。后来亚萱心血来潮用机手就来跟我自拍，我就一时兴起叫她起身到后面拍。（后面是厕所，厕所外还有一些空间的）由于自拍能力有限，后来又来了家玮，金华一起拍。。。
我越拍就越high。。。后来不停叫亚萱拍照，还拿了维伦的相继来继续拍。。。在后来大家也都在拍照。。拍呀拍，我也不知道有多少部相机了。。所以现在还在等着他们一个一个的上载。。哈哈。。。原本以为可以很早回的，哪知就这样零酒精的无缘无故兴奋了起来，也原本以为要跟培文车回家所以得跟他去十八届喝茶，哪知后来绮丽说他可以载我回，我就跟他们十九届去喝茶了。。。原本打算在ss2 的，太多车了，我们又有五辆车，根本不能全都能找到停车位，后来就决定去了拉曼大学对面的一堆busineescenter 喝茶。。那边到了晚上好像还有一间club 的。。。就这样，大家点了吃的，吃完后来谈呀谈，就这样谈到凌晨一点多才回家。。。最后大家也很感性的。。因为也许，对某些人来说，这次真的是最后一次见面了，起码在短期内不会见。。。或是大家最快也得等到一年后回巢再见。。
这次见到绮丽。。。原本很开心，真得很久没见到他了。。。他是我学记生活中的美君，也是我很好很好的学记朋友。。。他有梦想，有理想，有计划。。。。不过那天才得知，他双亲分开在前几个月去世了。。。她一个女孩子和他哥哥，其实对一个女生来说，他真的很很很很坚强厉害了。。后来我感觉到他好像其实是强颜欢笑，以前她那种很自然很放纵的笑声不见了，那种很果断很不感性的性格也不见了。。。他说迟点他会跟阿姨去澳洲过生活，后来他也说了他的梦想（到纽西兰后再去意大利）。。虽然之前他说过要在我现在的学校读法律的，可是发生了那么多事情，他说他变了，不想变也得变了。。。看着他，除了佩服以外，我真的没有别的形容词可以更贴切的形容他了。。。。看着他，我学会坚强。。。。无论如何，我真的很衷心心的祝福他这个很好很好的朋友，一路顺风！无论她做什么，我都会支持他，无论她需要我什么的帮忙，我都会竭尽所能赴汤蹈火的去帮他。。。
学记回巢已经是上个礼拜六的事了。。。当晚，因为明年今日我该不会在大马了，后来就算念完书回来可能大家也不知道还有没有联络，当晚有可能是我最后一次的回巢，所以就决定回去。。。一开始，当然大家会少不了有的尴尬。后来谈下谈下，终于大家还是破解了中间那块冷尴尬，无论什么都谈起来了。。。靠！当晚一去到报馆就到食堂。我要去买晚餐的。后来一不小心摔了个跤，有够丢脸的。。。
后来由于实在太闷了，一届分享后又一届，实在太闷了。。后来亚萱心血来潮用机手就来跟我自拍，我就一时兴起叫她起身到后面拍。（后面是厕所，厕所外还有一些空间的）由于自拍能力有限，后来又来了家玮，金华一起拍。。。
我越拍就越high。。。后来不停叫亚萱拍照，还拿了维伦的相继来继续拍。。。在后来大家也都在拍照。。拍呀拍，我也不知道有多少部相机了。。所以现在还在等着他们一个一个的上载。。哈哈。。。原本以为可以很早回的，哪知就这样零酒精的无缘无故兴奋了起来，也原本以为要跟培文车回家所以得跟他去十八届喝茶，哪知后来绮丽说他可以载我回，我就跟他们十九届去喝茶了。。。原本打算在ss2 的，太多车了，我们又有五辆车，根本不能全都能找到停车位，后来就决定去了拉曼大学对面的一堆busineescenter 喝茶。。那边到了晚上好像还有一间club 的。。。就这样，大家点了吃的，吃完后来谈呀谈，就这样谈到凌晨一点多才回家。。。最后大家也很感性的。。因为也许，对某些人来说，这次真的是最后一次见面了，起码在短期内不会见。。。或是大家最快也得等到一年后回巢再见。。
这次见到绮丽。。。原本很开心，真得很久没见到他了。。。他是我学记生活中的美君，也是我很好很好的学记朋友。。。他有梦想，有理想，有计划。。。。不过那天才得知，他双亲分开在前几个月去世了。。。她一个女孩子和他哥哥，其实对一个女生来说，他真的很很很很坚强厉害了。。后来我感觉到他好像其实是强颜欢笑，以前她那种很自然很放纵的笑声不见了，那种很果断很不感性的性格也不见了。。。他说迟点他会跟阿姨去澳洲过生活，后来他也说了他的梦想（到纽西兰后再去意大利）。。虽然之前他说过要在我现在的学校读法律的，可是发生了那么多事情，他说他变了，不想变也得变了。。。看着他，除了佩服以外，我真的没有别的形容词可以更贴切的形容他了。。。。看着他，我学会坚强。。。。无论如何，我真的很衷心心的祝福他这个很好很好的朋友，一路顺风！无论她做什么，我都会支持他，无论她需要我什么的帮忙，我都会竭尽所能赴汤蹈火的去帮他。。。
星期六晚上，那般一起去爬山的朋友去了吉隆坡lot 10 附近的小食中心吃晚餐。。原本打算要去马六甲云顶或什么的。。。刚才看到几张他们那晚拍的照片，哎呀，我去我就又能在拍那些有‘feel'的照了！哈哈，最起码那边是KL nite 嘛！哈哈
礼拜一有个90年的的人来应征sales executive 。。看他履历表觉得好奇怪，因为他说他刚念完stpm,可是又有lcci文凭。。。不过后来我也没理他，只是觉得奇怪，那小子小我一年，可是他要应征salesman? 后来ahsim 和ah shawn interview 后，突然ahsim 走出来（从会议室）叫我进去interview for telemarketer, 同一个人，哇！那么唐突？没法子，就这样进去面试了他。之前面试几位嘉裕说我很慢很罗嗦，所以这次我就尽快阿，可是ah sim 看到到出来就问我那么快就搞定？后来他叫我跟他说薪水的东西然后让他会去考虑。。那我又坐下来跟他谈了几分钟。。哈哈气，他们都说那男的样子很可爱。。。无论如何，ah sim 叫我决定是否要录取他，他又跟我解释为何他不考虑给那小子salesman 的职位。所以就叫我决定后通知那小子。
今天我还没决定好，ah sim 又问我了。那我就打电话去confirm 那小子咯。后来他知道是telemarketer 这职位就说要考虑，明天在他电话给我给我答复。今天那新来的两个又说他朋友有可能要做，问我公司还要请人吗。。
也是今天，我们作弄christine 的计划开始了第一步，满成功的。今天我也进了ahsim 的房好几次，不是在讨论者计划就是在里面笑够才出去。。哈哈，这计划礼拜四菜是重头戏。。哈哈。。今天给卡片约他，拜四给项链和小纸条！
今天是冬至，ahsim 让我们早半小时下班。。。这几天都帮忙搓汤圆之凌晨才洗早睡觉。一喜好洗好，因为又困又累，躺在床上舒舒服服一下子就睡着了=)
没什么，不知道为何，突然间真的很想很想那堆德国演员。。艾，我也不知道为什么，之前被美国演员，现在不是被德国演员就是美国偶像纠缠着我的思绪。。。真的很烦。。我也不想这样，可是，真的不懂该怎办。。。神阿,救救我吧！
靠！其实我又三个assignment 一个viva 全部要在一月搞定。。viva 二月头。。。尤其是assignment。。。天那！别再想那些有的没的吧！我又更加重要的事情要做！可是，我就是无法把他们从我脑袋拿掉。。。
mr lew cho kang! i suppose that there are much better things to do in life than missing and having crush on those artist...what's stupid feeling is this! but i can't take them off my mind, it's really out of my hand! how much i wish i could, but i just can't! if i could, i would!
很快这个星期又要过去了。。。他说他在这一两个礼拜都很忙，迟些他会联络我（这是在那天原本在他刚考完试过后一天的那个晚上说我们要见面也许序关于他工作和未来，然后他又放我飞机的。）希望，期待，真的很期望，能够不久后，能够再一次在来电显示上看到他的名字。。。。
真的很想她，想给他看那天那美国组合演唱会我录下来的画面，想跟她说话，想听他声音，像看他又是那傻乎乎的样子。。。
冬至又过了。。他还记得去年的这个时候其实他曾来帮我妈搓汤圆吗？后来新年也来帮忙包糖果。那天我妈才提起说他去年来时，汤圆好像没那么美，做得也没那么快，因为他很多话说，我们就只顾着跟她说话。。。他们也又问为何今年他没来，不过他们也知道，她也许不会来，反正他们都认为他只是一时贪玩而已。。可是听到我妈说他去年说了很多’傻话‘是，我妈在笑，我也忍不住心里不停地在微笑。。。多希望几年他也来，就算听他说话做得慢得熬很夜，我都觉得没关系，都是值得的。。可是，就是没有打给他的勇气。。。知道自己怕被拒绝，所以不断安慰自己说他说他很忙，不方便打扰他。。。好烂的理由。。。
今天冬至，也是星期二。。以前，礼拜二礼拜五就会得到他call 叫我带他去夜市。。不过那也是很以前的事了。。。（不过后来我不知不觉好像在这两天都会想到他然后叫他去夜市的，当时我还没喜欢他，也许，那就是喜欢他之前的’前奏‘）当时我还在念中六。。所以我妈常说他只是利用我。我也曾开玩笑的跟她说，她也承认。。无论他是开玩笑还是认真，只要可以见他，我都没关系。。。而他，也许点怕我妈吧！那他很久不见后来又带他一起去拿那美国组合的票后带他到我家，下车前他也说，‘等下你妈看到我就骂我了！’当时，他真的很可爱。。那天，我也没意想到他或跟我去的。。。还记得当时只是抱着尝试的心理用手机抢线，还可以跟美国组合说话的那一次（因为最后一次机会了）。。没想过我会打得进。由于当天下午他打给我我没接到，后来传短讯给他又没回覆，不过那么就没跟她联络，有想念他了那么久，那一通电话我已经很开心了。。。（后来知道他要问我读法律读得怎样，他爸叫他读法律，他就是这样，可以突然一时兴起就会打给人。）当时尝试打进电台时就跟上天说，既然他那天难得打给我，若果我成功打进电台，我和他就有可能，因为打进电台尤其用手机和跟她在一起对我来说都是几乎不肯能的事情。。哪知道是不是上天听到我说话，我竟然打进去了！可是到现在，我必须相信，那纯属巧合。。我和他，真的几乎比升天更难。。不用几乎，确实是。。
由于很喜欢那德国演员，也不知为何会扯上金马伦。所以我不会再提议上金马伦的，因为到那边后香气德国演员我会超级无敌空虚。。然后再想起那德国演员是我根本不可能见到的，更加空虚。。不过也许，如果跟他一起上，也许不会那么空虚。。所以是不是说其实他，就是能够让我忘记所有德国没有演员偶像，也能填补我空虚的那一个人呢？
刚才我妹问我要不要去夜市场。。他和我从吉兰丹下来的表弟妹一起去。。。我说我不去了。。。
其实我不是不想去，而是去了，我会更想他。。。。。
Friday, December 18, 2009
爬山记
二零零九年十二月十八日 下午一点五十四分
一清大早，凌晨四点，就照原订计划，八个人开着两辆车浩浩荡荡的从我家出发到broga hill
原本是打算去看日出，所以就这样早出发。。。我睡也不到三个小时就起身了。听说有些甚至没睡。。哈哈。。。昨晚，很夜才确定去的人数。。。
我坐着estima, （有点明星赶通告的感觉，上次拍摄studio照的时候也是七点多坐van 出发）可是大概走了半个小时。。。不知为何直觉告诉我们好像走错路了。。。我们该跟semenyih走，后来一直看到klang, 越走越不对劲，就在加油站问了人，靠！四十分钟车程后竟然要我们从回puchong 或seri kembangan,balakong 再走。。因为我们完全错方向了！一南一北！
没办法，只好倒回去了。。。后来在车上原本吵吵闹闹的，也许走错路怎样还是有一点气，虽然谁也不想，也许担心赶不及看日出，所以在倒回去的车程中，整辆车几乎都没声音，只有我尽量说话，让火滚的冷静，担心的放心，尴尬的也不会害怕。。。
最后一路上慢慢发觉我们走对方向了（跟着shirley 在别人部落格得到的资料）。。。也许我们引文不好还是那作者的句子模棱两可，有好几个路口都是靠瞎猜的。最后，慢慢地，又看路牌又问收费站，终于确定走对路了！最好笑的，还是希望看到下一个exit 的号码是我们要的，就拼命喊那个号码，看六合彩似的。。哈哈。。（我们要找 exit 1, 之前我们一路注意到那路是exit 6 开始逆序倒数。。。）
最后终于给我们找到了，哇！已经很多车了。。大概也有六点多了。。当时还是黑漆漆的，所以都是用手电筒一路爬上去。。。那些山路，果然是在爬山，虽然比起以前tioman 的jungle tracking 还有一段距离，可是这山路也很‘山路’的。（不像好像已经加工过，只是后一条人走出来的路线而已。）
上山时，shirley 上最快的，因为他要赶去看日出。qingyao 就是一直吵着要休息。那山有几个顶峰，应该是四个。花了大概四十多分钟至一小时吧，到了第一个峰。后来在那边拍呀拍的，不只停留多久就去第二个峰。王第二个峰的路途，我和嘉裕就在后面继续拍照。哈哈，等到他们到了那第二个山峰不久才到。。。后来也在那边停留更久，没什么，就只是拍照。。。
途中，遇到ｋｉｔｗａｎ 姐姐和她男友。。。之前在第一个峰也遇到ｋｏｋ ｌｉｏｎｇ。和嘉裕跟他说了几句话。。。
后来应该九点多我们开始下山了，那时人已不多。下山反而qingyao 变最快 shirley 最慢。也许他要赶快去吃东西吧；shirley 则腿没力了。下到山大概是十点。休息喝水一下就去附近吃早餐。原本有打算直接在去马六甲的，可是又原本打算晚上有clubbing ，所以就没有去了。。大概大家累了要回家洗澡休息睡觉，晚上在继续疯狂。。。可是晚上干什么，还不懂。应该没去clubbing, 因为人不多不会如上次好玩。也许晚上去马六甲波迪申还是上云顶？还不知道。。。
今天爬山费用: ＲＭ６．５０ 一个人, 包括大道费汽油费。好便宜！如果没走错路也许更少！连早餐一碗干捞板面只是ＲＭ２．７０！凉水冰好像ＲＭ１．．．天，在这里消费太好了！哈哈
今天在山上。。。看到情侣们多么的亲密甜蜜，有一点失落。若昨天他又回我信息说他要来，我也会好像他们那样心情甜蜜吗？
回到家只是十二点多，洗澡后也只不过是一点多。。。很想打电话叫她出来的。。可是他昨天说他着两个礼拜很忙，他会联络我。。。担心自己烦着他，最后没打了。。
现在我是用着无线上网的，所以可以轻松坐在沙发上。不必好像以前要那些电线拉着拉那。。。很轻松。。。希望我这电脑一切正常，不会好像那天那tm point 的人所说，我电脑可能中毒。。。所以拜托，希望改次都可以在家用无线上网。。那我就在房间在客厅在厕所都可以随意上网了:)
迟点可能又要看那德国戏剧了。。。看了又会想他想他们（演员）。。。那，该看吗？
but i just dunwan to get the crush feeling coming back again!what to do? and H, how come i don't dare to say:' i love you enough!'....
一清大早，凌晨四点，就照原订计划，八个人开着两辆车浩浩荡荡的从我家出发到broga hill
原本是打算去看日出，所以就这样早出发。。。我睡也不到三个小时就起身了。听说有些甚至没睡。。哈哈。。。昨晚，很夜才确定去的人数。。。
我坐着estima, （有点明星赶通告的感觉，上次拍摄studio照的时候也是七点多坐van 出发）可是大概走了半个小时。。。不知为何直觉告诉我们好像走错路了。。。我们该跟semenyih走，后来一直看到klang, 越走越不对劲，就在加油站问了人，靠！四十分钟车程后竟然要我们从回puchong 或seri kembangan,balakong 再走。。因为我们完全错方向了！一南一北！
没办法，只好倒回去了。。。后来在车上原本吵吵闹闹的，也许走错路怎样还是有一点气，虽然谁也不想，也许担心赶不及看日出，所以在倒回去的车程中，整辆车几乎都没声音，只有我尽量说话，让火滚的冷静，担心的放心，尴尬的也不会害怕。。。
最后一路上慢慢发觉我们走对方向了（跟着shirley 在别人部落格得到的资料）。。。也许我们引文不好还是那作者的句子模棱两可，有好几个路口都是靠瞎猜的。最后，慢慢地，又看路牌又问收费站，终于确定走对路了！最好笑的，还是希望看到下一个exit 的号码是我们要的，就拼命喊那个号码，看六合彩似的。。哈哈。。（我们要找 exit 1, 之前我们一路注意到那路是exit 6 开始逆序倒数。。。）
最后终于给我们找到了，哇！已经很多车了。。大概也有六点多了。。当时还是黑漆漆的，所以都是用手电筒一路爬上去。。。那些山路，果然是在爬山，虽然比起以前tioman 的jungle tracking 还有一段距离，可是这山路也很‘山路’的。（不像好像已经加工过，只是后一条人走出来的路线而已。）
上山时，shirley 上最快的，因为他要赶去看日出。qingyao 就是一直吵着要休息。那山有几个顶峰，应该是四个。花了大概四十多分钟至一小时吧，到了第一个峰。后来在那边拍呀拍的，不只停留多久就去第二个峰。王第二个峰的路途，我和嘉裕就在后面继续拍照。哈哈，等到他们到了那第二个山峰不久才到。。。后来也在那边停留更久，没什么，就只是拍照。。。
途中，遇到ｋｉｔｗａｎ 姐姐和她男友。。。之前在第一个峰也遇到ｋｏｋ ｌｉｏｎｇ。和嘉裕跟他说了几句话。。。
后来应该九点多我们开始下山了，那时人已不多。下山反而qingyao 变最快 shirley 最慢。也许他要赶快去吃东西吧；shirley 则腿没力了。下到山大概是十点。休息喝水一下就去附近吃早餐。原本有打算直接在去马六甲的，可是又原本打算晚上有clubbing ，所以就没有去了。。大概大家累了要回家洗澡休息睡觉，晚上在继续疯狂。。。可是晚上干什么，还不懂。应该没去clubbing, 因为人不多不会如上次好玩。也许晚上去马六甲波迪申还是上云顶？还不知道。。。
今天爬山费用: ＲＭ６．５０ 一个人, 包括大道费汽油费。好便宜！如果没走错路也许更少！连早餐一碗干捞板面只是ＲＭ２．７０！凉水冰好像ＲＭ１．．．天，在这里消费太好了！哈哈
今天在山上。。。看到情侣们多么的亲密甜蜜，有一点失落。若昨天他又回我信息说他要来，我也会好像他们那样心情甜蜜吗？
回到家只是十二点多，洗澡后也只不过是一点多。。。很想打电话叫她出来的。。可是他昨天说他着两个礼拜很忙，他会联络我。。。担心自己烦着他，最后没打了。。
现在我是用着无线上网的，所以可以轻松坐在沙发上。不必好像以前要那些电线拉着拉那。。。很轻松。。。希望我这电脑一切正常，不会好像那天那tm point 的人所说，我电脑可能中毒。。。所以拜托，希望改次都可以在家用无线上网。。那我就在房间在客厅在厕所都可以随意上网了:)
迟点可能又要看那德国戏剧了。。。看了又会想他想他们（演员）。。。那，该看吗？
but i just dunwan to get the crush feeling coming back again!what to do? and H, how come i don't dare to say:' i love you enough!'....
星期四晚上
二零零九年十二月十八号 十二点三十二分
其实这一早就应该放上网的。。。可是一直都server down… 没办法了。。直到现在才想起可以先泻后再上载。。。
一早就告诉自己，不要对今晚（拜四）跟他的见面抱有太大的希望，他有很大可能会爽约。。。七点多从公司回家，就打了电话给他，他说他在超市‘扫货’，我说迟点再打给他。后来脚踏他给我，她说再看看吧。。。我就告诉自己他不会打给我的，别抱有希望。。可是就是不知怎的，我手机一响，我就会想看到他的名，再强逼自己说不会是他别想太多，可当看到来电显示不是他名字时，还是心会酸以下。。最后，收到他给的短讯，没错，他果然真的说她今晚不能了，下次吧！虽然早就知道今晚会是这样的结局，可是心，还是痛了一下。。。真的，有失望的感觉。。。后来安慰自己，至少，我收到短讯。。。后来跟他传了几封，他说他这两个礼拜会很忙，迟点再联络我。。。我问他明天要一起去爬山吗，两次了，最后还是没回应。。。他没回我信息了。。。
今晚没见到他，不知怎的，就是真的很没有心情。。谁跟我说或我都以单调回答。。。就算是讨论明天的事。。。
我知道，我的心情被一个不把我当某某的一个人牵动着。。。
无论server 有多down, 最后还是上了网，察看它有在线上吗。。。真的没有，也许她真的忙着。。。
看会美国偶像8的重播，靠！又被那歌手吸引住。。拜托。。这种对明星 （德国美国）春游莫名其妙的感觉，真的让我透不过气。。。
知道我和他在一起就不会这样，至少会比现在的情况好，可是就是不可能。。。这点我非常清楚。。
还以为自已慢慢把他给忘了的。。结果还是没有。。。
你知道，我多久没在来电显示上看到你的名字了吗？
你知道，你考试这段时间以来我有多想你吗？
你知道，原本知道今晚可以和你见面，也许是你第一个考试后见的人（家人以外），我有多开心吗？
你知道，你说你可能不可再继续读书，我有多为你烦吗？
你知道，你说你很烦，我的心又有多痛吗？
你知道，若我考试差被老板骂，你的一通电话可以让我笑吗？
你知道，你跟我说的心事诉的苦，虽然只是一次，我会被得比任何课本内容更清楚吗？
你知道，你已经默默偷走我的心了吗？
你知道，我每天早上起身最想看到的就是你吗？
你知道，你的一举一动可以影响我整天整个人的心情吗？
你知道，没有你我真的不知该怎么办吗?
你知道，无论我身旁有多好笑的事，没有你我都觉得一点都不好笑吗？
你知道，我有好消息第一个想告诉的人就是你吗？
你知道，就算我人家说我有多幸福，没有你那些都不算是幸福吗？
你知道，就算你做了我最讨厌的事情，我都觉得你情有可原你很可爱吗？
你知道，只要有你在，多苦多烦的事我都会觉得甜吗？
你知道，和你吃苦对我来说会是一种简单的幸福吗？
你知道，只要是跟你在一起，美国德国又怎样？金马伦也可很幸福。。。
还有很多很多。。。你知道吗？
是的，你不知道，而我只知道，这些你永远不会也不想知道。。。
我明白。
所以拜托，你可不可以，别把我的心给没收，把它好好的，还给我。。。。
其实这一早就应该放上网的。。。可是一直都server down… 没办法了。。直到现在才想起可以先泻后再上载。。。
一早就告诉自己，不要对今晚（拜四）跟他的见面抱有太大的希望，他有很大可能会爽约。。。七点多从公司回家，就打了电话给他，他说他在超市‘扫货’，我说迟点再打给他。后来脚踏他给我，她说再看看吧。。。我就告诉自己他不会打给我的，别抱有希望。。可是就是不知怎的，我手机一响，我就会想看到他的名，再强逼自己说不会是他别想太多，可当看到来电显示不是他名字时，还是心会酸以下。。最后，收到他给的短讯，没错，他果然真的说她今晚不能了，下次吧！虽然早就知道今晚会是这样的结局，可是心，还是痛了一下。。。真的，有失望的感觉。。。后来安慰自己，至少，我收到短讯。。。后来跟他传了几封，他说他这两个礼拜会很忙，迟点再联络我。。。我问他明天要一起去爬山吗，两次了，最后还是没回应。。。他没回我信息了。。。
今晚没见到他，不知怎的，就是真的很没有心情。。谁跟我说或我都以单调回答。。。就算是讨论明天的事。。。
我知道，我的心情被一个不把我当某某的一个人牵动着。。。
无论server 有多down, 最后还是上了网，察看它有在线上吗。。。真的没有，也许她真的忙着。。。
看会美国偶像8的重播，靠！又被那歌手吸引住。。拜托。。这种对明星 （德国美国）春游莫名其妙的感觉，真的让我透不过气。。。
知道我和他在一起就不会这样，至少会比现在的情况好，可是就是不可能。。。这点我非常清楚。。
还以为自已慢慢把他给忘了的。。结果还是没有。。。
你知道，我多久没在来电显示上看到你的名字了吗？
你知道，你考试这段时间以来我有多想你吗？
你知道，原本知道今晚可以和你见面，也许是你第一个考试后见的人（家人以外），我有多开心吗？
你知道，你说你可能不可再继续读书，我有多为你烦吗？
你知道，你说你很烦，我的心又有多痛吗？
你知道，若我考试差被老板骂，你的一通电话可以让我笑吗？
你知道，你跟我说的心事诉的苦，虽然只是一次，我会被得比任何课本内容更清楚吗？
你知道，你已经默默偷走我的心了吗？
你知道，我每天早上起身最想看到的就是你吗？
你知道，你的一举一动可以影响我整天整个人的心情吗？
你知道，没有你我真的不知该怎么办吗?
你知道，无论我身旁有多好笑的事，没有你我都觉得一点都不好笑吗？
你知道，我有好消息第一个想告诉的人就是你吗？
你知道，就算我人家说我有多幸福，没有你那些都不算是幸福吗？
你知道，就算你做了我最讨厌的事情，我都觉得你情有可原你很可爱吗？
你知道，只要有你在，多苦多烦的事我都会觉得甜吗？
你知道，和你吃苦对我来说会是一种简单的幸福吗？
你知道，只要是跟你在一起，美国德国又怎样？金马伦也可很幸福。。。
还有很多很多。。。你知道吗？
是的，你不知道，而我只知道，这些你永远不会也不想知道。。。
我明白。
所以拜托，你可不可以，别把我的心给没收，把它好好的，还给我。。。。
Thursday, December 17, 2009
这一天
二零零九年十二月十七号 凌晨两点零九分
这一天，不，其实是那一天。。。昨天。。。
好久没用中文了，我也不知道为何今天突然会想起用中文。。。
今天，我把电脑modem router 统统带到TM point。。。就只希望拜托求求他们可以帮我解决纠缠我这几天的router 问题。。。问题，应该已经解决了，可是他们却还说怀疑我电脑可能中了毒！ 不要！千不可万不可！我才用那么一年多，然后还要可能拿去format 。。不要吧！别让我惹上这麻烦。。。无论如何，至少现在，我家终于无限上网了，重点，用电脑，因为用我电话在几天前都可以了。。哈哈。。所以，这次，现在，我可是坐在沙发电脑放在上打字。。。好爽。。嘻嘻。。。
昨天（十六号-一下我都用‘今天’），我，可以说有美好的结束吧。。。
今天，真的很难得一见，我竟然在巴士上遇到老外！我要说的是，由于今天不知怎的就很累，找了个位子坐下后就睡着了。。后来醒来，还没到我的站，睁开眼睛竟然看到有个老外站在巴士里。。。wow! 我其实真的没有看过老外搭巴士的。。。今天，真的是奇闻一见。。哈哈。。他是一个男的，该有接近三十岁吧，不懂来自哪里。。。嗯，也蛮 'man' 的。。哈哈。。很想去认识他，可是主动去说话又好像很奇怪。。最后我还是下车了。。哈哈，拜托，我崇洋心理又发作了。。。说真的，我自己也觉得很严重。。我知道这样不好，可是我也拿它没办法。。。哈哈。。。
今天看来是我学校上课最后一天。。直到明年才复课了。。。
可是还有一堆assignment,还有我没上课就上班，哪有时间做。。。我也临时抱佛脚的，糟了。。。
今晚上网，就是因为上网，又不由自主地看了那德国剧，真的不知为何，每看了他们，心情都会down以下。。。其实这心情一直持续，就算成功电脑用无线上网也只不过开心一下，最后还是回复那令人受不了的沉重心情。。
还以为要带着这心情睡觉了。。可是，忘了是几点，我就好像平时酱子去msn的特定一个察看他有没有在线上，不知什么时候，这都变成了我上网后的指定动作。。。
之前以为，他考完试了，为何从十二月头（我大概猜想他在这时候考完）到现在他都没上网。。他去玩了吗？玩也该回来了吧，十六天了。。。为何都没找我，一个电话也没有。。。
就在刚才那晚做了这日常动作，竟然看到他了！也就我以为他终于玩够了，（若今天他才刚考完我是不会主动跟他说话的），就主动叫他。。。
‘终于考完试了’
‘是呀！’
就这样，开始超过三十天没有说过话的交谈。。。他首先问我工作那里还要请人吗（之前问他有时他自己说不要的）然后也跟我说他现在有多压力。。他说他有多担心他的成绩。。。他妈说成绩不好就没得再读，可是他想读，他要至少在这三个月上班赚钱来说服他妈。。他很后悔为何之前不要努力读书。。。我不会体会讨他的心情，因为位一直成绩都不错（谁说的？我stpm时他也知道我成绩有多差，我也不是一样经历过那种心情）。。这算是她在跟我说心事吗（当然他因该不知跟我说，因为她说现在他的亲戚和一些朋友在安慰她）。。最后他说别说了，再说要哭了。。。哈哈哈，直到她说笑的，只是拿来形容他的心情而已，可是就觉得，他很可爱，很想很想帮她。。
无论如何，在这次谈话，我发觉他好像开始成熟了，至少彼此那个前认真，没看过他会对一样事物认真的。。。不知为何，心里嘴角都会扬起一丝笑容。。。
中间我又暗示的，可是他也很直接的说，我们没可能，好朋友就没关系，在进一步就no thanks 了。。。不知怎的，我不是很伤，唤作以前，我会有千刀割的感觉。。。是他对我再也没有以前那种影响力了吗？还使我已经习惯远远静静守护他任他伤害我而又不告诉他我不知是想当大的好朋友的日子？
他问到工作时，他又叫我找一天出来跟他解释清楚。。。。至少他有叫我出来，我可以感到欣慰了。。。最后终于问了他明天的空吗，出来见面，我是用出来解释工作的借口，也开玩笑说可以借他我的肩膀。。。原没抱什么希望的，怎知他说，在那里？他肯跟我出来！最后决定了地方。。在那间我在去看美国团体演唱会早上带他到astro后去吃东西的mamak档。。。那天，我还让他用我车载我兜圈。。。当时，我知道他没驾照的。。。刚才问了他，他载我吗？他说他还没有驾照。。。无论如何，地方并不是重点。。。
对了，我也有问他，其实它是几时考完试的，为何之前十二月头都没看他上网。。。他说今天他在考完。。原来如此。。。原来之前我的所有以为都是错的。。也好，若没有那些以为，我今年哪会主动跟他说话。。。不跟他说话就不会有明天的见面。。。
就这样，我那看到德国演员的沉重心情就这样轻易被他赶走了。。。
过后我才有心情跟朋友安排拜五爬山行程、车辆安排等等。。后来还直接把电脑搬到腿上我坐在沙发上跟振语家希商量。。。（因为我那朋友叫我负责搞定3+3）。。家希忙着玩线上游戏，所以基本上我都是跟振语在讨论。。。
好了。。。其实真的很开心，除了期待明天外，第一次在家坐在沙发上上网的感觉也蛮好的。。。所以就拜托不要好像那tmpoint 的人所说，我电脑可能中毒，因为一时可以一时不行用我刚买的router来无线上网。。真的不要。。。拜托。。。
好了。。。虽然学校假期至明年才开课。。。我明天还得上班。。。只是christine去了新加坡，也许有些自由。。哈哈
三点多了。。该睡了。。还有，冬节要到了。。。他，还记得去年曾经来我家搓过汤圆和今年新年包过糖果吗？
今年冬至，他，可以再来码？
这一天，不，其实是那一天。。。昨天。。。
好久没用中文了，我也不知道为何今天突然会想起用中文。。。
今天，我把电脑modem router 统统带到TM point。。。就只希望拜托求求他们可以帮我解决纠缠我这几天的router 问题。。。问题，应该已经解决了，可是他们却还说怀疑我电脑可能中了毒！ 不要！千不可万不可！我才用那么一年多，然后还要可能拿去format 。。不要吧！别让我惹上这麻烦。。。无论如何，至少现在，我家终于无限上网了，重点，用电脑，因为用我电话在几天前都可以了。。哈哈。。所以，这次，现在，我可是坐在沙发电脑放在上打字。。。好爽。。嘻嘻。。。
昨天（十六号-一下我都用‘今天’），我，可以说有美好的结束吧。。。
今天，真的很难得一见，我竟然在巴士上遇到老外！我要说的是，由于今天不知怎的就很累，找了个位子坐下后就睡着了。。后来醒来，还没到我的站，睁开眼睛竟然看到有个老外站在巴士里。。。wow! 我其实真的没有看过老外搭巴士的。。。今天，真的是奇闻一见。。哈哈。。他是一个男的，该有接近三十岁吧，不懂来自哪里。。。嗯，也蛮 'man' 的。。哈哈。。很想去认识他，可是主动去说话又好像很奇怪。。最后我还是下车了。。哈哈，拜托，我崇洋心理又发作了。。。说真的，我自己也觉得很严重。。我知道这样不好，可是我也拿它没办法。。。哈哈。。。
今天看来是我学校上课最后一天。。直到明年才复课了。。。
可是还有一堆assignment,还有我没上课就上班，哪有时间做。。。我也临时抱佛脚的，糟了。。。
今晚上网，就是因为上网，又不由自主地看了那德国剧，真的不知为何，每看了他们，心情都会down以下。。。其实这心情一直持续，就算成功电脑用无线上网也只不过开心一下，最后还是回复那令人受不了的沉重心情。。
还以为要带着这心情睡觉了。。可是，忘了是几点，我就好像平时酱子去msn的特定一个察看他有没有在线上，不知什么时候，这都变成了我上网后的指定动作。。。
之前以为，他考完试了，为何从十二月头（我大概猜想他在这时候考完）到现在他都没上网。。他去玩了吗？玩也该回来了吧，十六天了。。。为何都没找我，一个电话也没有。。。
就在刚才那晚做了这日常动作，竟然看到他了！也就我以为他终于玩够了，（若今天他才刚考完我是不会主动跟他说话的），就主动叫他。。。
‘终于考完试了’
‘是呀！’
就这样，开始超过三十天没有说过话的交谈。。。他首先问我工作那里还要请人吗（之前问他有时他自己说不要的）然后也跟我说他现在有多压力。。他说他有多担心他的成绩。。。他妈说成绩不好就没得再读，可是他想读，他要至少在这三个月上班赚钱来说服他妈。。他很后悔为何之前不要努力读书。。。我不会体会讨他的心情，因为位一直成绩都不错（谁说的？我stpm时他也知道我成绩有多差，我也不是一样经历过那种心情）。。这算是她在跟我说心事吗（当然他因该不知跟我说，因为她说现在他的亲戚和一些朋友在安慰她）。。最后他说别说了，再说要哭了。。。哈哈哈，直到她说笑的，只是拿来形容他的心情而已，可是就觉得，他很可爱，很想很想帮她。。
无论如何，在这次谈话，我发觉他好像开始成熟了，至少彼此那个前认真，没看过他会对一样事物认真的。。。不知为何，心里嘴角都会扬起一丝笑容。。。
中间我又暗示的，可是他也很直接的说，我们没可能，好朋友就没关系，在进一步就no thanks 了。。。不知怎的，我不是很伤，唤作以前，我会有千刀割的感觉。。。是他对我再也没有以前那种影响力了吗？还使我已经习惯远远静静守护他任他伤害我而又不告诉他我不知是想当大的好朋友的日子？
他问到工作时，他又叫我找一天出来跟他解释清楚。。。。至少他有叫我出来，我可以感到欣慰了。。。最后终于问了他明天的空吗，出来见面，我是用出来解释工作的借口，也开玩笑说可以借他我的肩膀。。。原没抱什么希望的，怎知他说，在那里？他肯跟我出来！最后决定了地方。。在那间我在去看美国团体演唱会早上带他到astro后去吃东西的mamak档。。。那天，我还让他用我车载我兜圈。。。当时，我知道他没驾照的。。。刚才问了他，他载我吗？他说他还没有驾照。。。无论如何，地方并不是重点。。。
对了，我也有问他，其实它是几时考完试的，为何之前十二月头都没看他上网。。。他说今天他在考完。。原来如此。。。原来之前我的所有以为都是错的。。也好，若没有那些以为，我今年哪会主动跟他说话。。。不跟他说话就不会有明天的见面。。。
就这样，我那看到德国演员的沉重心情就这样轻易被他赶走了。。。
过后我才有心情跟朋友安排拜五爬山行程、车辆安排等等。。后来还直接把电脑搬到腿上我坐在沙发上跟振语家希商量。。。（因为我那朋友叫我负责搞定3+3）。。家希忙着玩线上游戏，所以基本上我都是跟振语在讨论。。。
好了。。。其实真的很开心，除了期待明天外，第一次在家坐在沙发上上网的感觉也蛮好的。。。所以就拜托不要好像那tmpoint 的人所说，我电脑可能中毒，因为一时可以一时不行用我刚买的router来无线上网。。真的不要。。。拜托。。。
好了。。。虽然学校假期至明年才开课。。。我明天还得上班。。。只是christine去了新加坡，也许有些自由。。哈哈
三点多了。。该睡了。。还有，冬节要到了。。。他，还记得去年曾经来我家搓过汤圆和今年新年包过糖果吗？
今年冬至，他，可以再来码？
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
battery low
12:58am 16/12/09
Gosh! it's almost 1 am here! din realise it..cz jz got back from shirley's birthday celebration in shogun sunway....
long time din write all these in chinese...but since i m rushing everytime i m writing it, so i think i will still write it in english , at least for all these short moment unless i m really down...
haha...today i jz got to kno actually ppls still reading here...like tanshirley...n i remember meiwan told me she read as well tats y she kno sth of me tat i din tell her before..anyway, no big secret here luckily, i jz treat it as a journal..so tanshirley, if u c this, hehe, no fun reading my blog rite, u hv more better thing to do than reading this..n i m in rush always, i will use all those broken english..ignore it..haha
so...erm, today (15/12 i mean)went to sunway right away from work...today at work, gotta decide who to choose among those came for interview..initially ah sim said hire three i think n start working in jan...but i think my appearance in dec will be better than jan..so, ah sim ask me to choose 2 to train first in dec nthe only girl will coming in jan(i got certain position there ho, i can affect the boss decision, at least he let me do wat i wan within my power, all up to my discretion...wakakaka)...but the problem is, v hv to sack a person out among those 4...its harsh doing tat..been thru a whole dillema today...having them to call to my personal phone in order to test them, erm..i think gotta get it all done by thursday...
so today at the shogun, i m really exhausted after the whole day actually, but...gotta stay up man! shirley's birthday! so try my best to talk n mix with them...haha..erm..ya, before going to shogun, v bought shirley's present n saw kinleong's sis working there=.= due to v ady hv the target(jiayu kno what to buy after checking online during work..hehe), but v cant find when v reach there...then suddenly kinleong's sis pop up n ask us r we looking sth for shirley n she show the necklace was exactly what v r looking for=.= lame..wakaka..anywhere, hope she like it...in shogun, jx distributing his souvenier from dubai to them..haha..when he take it all out, he said" for 3+3 later claim from me in my house cz i din bring it today, i ady keep 5 for 5 of u all" erm...its actually so warm when listening to this, tat means no matter how long the time passed n wat v hv been thru( going off to study eveywhere i mean)n etc, 3+3 still earn a position in his heart..its just..touched for me!haha..ya, due to the age(probably v r old enough), v cant come up with any suprising idea for shirley as wat we did for last few years...so, v go n pick up few sushi n make a '20' word..then put 2 small pieces of cake in the middle with candle...tats all...(the sushi its quite a lot for us after v get full , its almost 10pm tat time)...wakaka...at the end, v gotta finish those sushi or else v will get fined, so, everyone hv to eat at least 1 i think....kevin said even 1 for him its hard for him to swallow, ya, then i said i think so n i dun dare to hv even 1..then they said hv to=.= then i picked the smallest wan..wakaka..hweichih saw n said i picked hers..haha..then jennyu took up a sushi, i tot wat he wana do, he jz ask me to open my mouth n put it inside my mouth, tats mean he feed me the sushi la...n oso means i hv 2...man!..haha,anyway, probably they think its not fair for me to hv a smallest wan..wakaka
so v took few picture there after tat, nope, precisely, i took few n the girls...took a lot...take n take n take..non stop=.=when v paying the check, they still bz taking picture=.=then yeowkiat said its normal, guys will hv to pay the check while girls will jz bz doing their 'important thing'=.=
so i n sy then follow jennyu's car to kuchai lama n i hv to drive my car back home...during the back hime way, i discussed with jennyu abt the router n internet wifi thing..qoq, never tot i got tat knowledge sufficiently to talk to other ppl abt it like tat, probably really due to my extensive research in this few day due to the router i bought..ya, i called TM point sripetaling again asking should my router connect to at least a pc..after i ask n ask n ask, i think they got confused=.= n they jotted down my number n say will call me back..but din receive their call after tat..gotta go n settle all that wednesady i think since after class i still got plebty time before they close...so, gotta go there n settle wat i can n wana settle n see what actually me n jennyu looking for n how can v deal with our modem, router, internet at our home...
after reach kuchai, sy thinking whose car should she follow...then sy ask who will she actually cause least trouble to if sending her back,,then jennyu said me n him r actually going the same way...jz v probably turn into different place only..while sy hesitating, jiayu said its ok, whoever she(sy) want to follow then follow, she can trouble anyone of us(me n jennyu), no worry...haha..well, the point i m trying to say is..i felt warm once again...even jiayu not my family, but when a fren can said that kinda sentence on behalf of me, it shows tat actually the fren are veryyyyy close with me..i would not mind the person said like tat on behalf of me then...tats mean if the person is my BFF..really best fren, i would not feel offensive but warm when they said tat kinda sentence( eg jiayu said sy can trouble me or jennyu if she wat, no worry)...
after all these, as wat i said in the post that i hv posted about my clubbing...i really appreciate 3+3 n thank god for giving them to me actually....n nevertheless, i hv other group of fren like kennji(probbaly no longer now), meiwan, liching, weejun, phooifun, menghuei, waikit, waikwan, shirley tat gang, kitwan, seok fang etc.......n even my collegue eg christine etc n my college fren eg waihong etc ...all these are different type of people n i can experience different lifestyle n observe different point of view on certain matter from different person..ya, its a vry gud thing actually...i appreciate ALL of them....haha..y i sounds so sentimental now?
having said of sentimental..ya, in the way back home i told jennyu tat i found like lifang getting sentimental nowadays since she is not used to b tat type of person...jiayu explain probably she really seldom contact with us esp guys...cz ya, even msn with her, she is the one who msn me first n i reply her..jennyu n jx experience same thing too mayb..(cz afraid she is bz although is online)...n terbalik pulak, the teemaychin in china although saying tat she miss malaysia so much, but it's hard to chat with her even with msn=.= she can jz say hi n next sentence is she bz/sleepy/wana go shit etc.....so neither one of us actually got the chance to really chat with her...if msn cant, phone or email even harder i think..haha
so...tats all for today....(ya, battery low-titile of this post means, i m really sgt tired, gotta sleep to recharge it..haha)but as every post....i m still missing H and the person..
for German, US n Idol aritist..ya, the same thing...this few day, no any/ few new post from them in facebook, youtube their fanpage n etc...esp German...really hope that this 'crushless' feeling will last...
n, today onyl i kno tat person is not single...should i text the person then using this as joke n chat? n, how many spm has passed for H? can u at least gv me a call?
i miss u.....
Gosh! it's almost 1 am here! din realise it..cz jz got back from shirley's birthday celebration in shogun sunway....
long time din write all these in chinese...but since i m rushing everytime i m writing it, so i think i will still write it in english , at least for all these short moment unless i m really down...
haha...today i jz got to kno actually ppls still reading here...like tanshirley...n i remember meiwan told me she read as well tats y she kno sth of me tat i din tell her before..anyway, no big secret here luckily, i jz treat it as a journal..so tanshirley, if u c this, hehe, no fun reading my blog rite, u hv more better thing to do than reading this..n i m in rush always, i will use all those broken english..ignore it..haha
so...erm, today (15/12 i mean)went to sunway right away from work...today at work, gotta decide who to choose among those came for interview..initially ah sim said hire three i think n start working in jan...but i think my appearance in dec will be better than jan..so, ah sim ask me to choose 2 to train first in dec nthe only girl will coming in jan(i got certain position there ho, i can affect the boss decision, at least he let me do wat i wan within my power, all up to my discretion...wakakaka)...but the problem is, v hv to sack a person out among those 4...its harsh doing tat..been thru a whole dillema today...having them to call to my personal phone in order to test them, erm..i think gotta get it all done by thursday...
so today at the shogun, i m really exhausted after the whole day actually, but...gotta stay up man! shirley's birthday! so try my best to talk n mix with them...haha..erm..ya, before going to shogun, v bought shirley's present n saw kinleong's sis working there=.= due to v ady hv the target(jiayu kno what to buy after checking online during work..hehe), but v cant find when v reach there...then suddenly kinleong's sis pop up n ask us r we looking sth for shirley n she show the necklace was exactly what v r looking for=.= lame..wakaka..anywhere, hope she like it...in shogun, jx distributing his souvenier from dubai to them..haha..when he take it all out, he said" for 3+3 later claim from me in my house cz i din bring it today, i ady keep 5 for 5 of u all" erm...its actually so warm when listening to this, tat means no matter how long the time passed n wat v hv been thru( going off to study eveywhere i mean)n etc, 3+3 still earn a position in his heart..its just..touched for me!haha..ya, due to the age(probably v r old enough), v cant come up with any suprising idea for shirley as wat we did for last few years...so, v go n pick up few sushi n make a '20' word..then put 2 small pieces of cake in the middle with candle...tats all...(the sushi its quite a lot for us after v get full , its almost 10pm tat time)...wakaka...at the end, v gotta finish those sushi or else v will get fined, so, everyone hv to eat at least 1 i think....kevin said even 1 for him its hard for him to swallow, ya, then i said i think so n i dun dare to hv even 1..then they said hv to=.= then i picked the smallest wan..wakaka..hweichih saw n said i picked hers..haha..then jennyu took up a sushi, i tot wat he wana do, he jz ask me to open my mouth n put it inside my mouth, tats mean he feed me the sushi la...n oso means i hv 2...man!..haha,anyway, probably they think its not fair for me to hv a smallest wan..wakaka
so v took few picture there after tat, nope, precisely, i took few n the girls...took a lot...take n take n take..non stop=.=when v paying the check, they still bz taking picture=.=then yeowkiat said its normal, guys will hv to pay the check while girls will jz bz doing their 'important thing'=.=
so i n sy then follow jennyu's car to kuchai lama n i hv to drive my car back home...during the back hime way, i discussed with jennyu abt the router n internet wifi thing..qoq, never tot i got tat knowledge sufficiently to talk to other ppl abt it like tat, probably really due to my extensive research in this few day due to the router i bought..ya, i called TM point sripetaling again asking should my router connect to at least a pc..after i ask n ask n ask, i think they got confused=.= n they jotted down my number n say will call me back..but din receive their call after tat..gotta go n settle all that wednesady i think since after class i still got plebty time before they close...so, gotta go there n settle wat i can n wana settle n see what actually me n jennyu looking for n how can v deal with our modem, router, internet at our home...
after reach kuchai, sy thinking whose car should she follow...then sy ask who will she actually cause least trouble to if sending her back,,then jennyu said me n him r actually going the same way...jz v probably turn into different place only..while sy hesitating, jiayu said its ok, whoever she(sy) want to follow then follow, she can trouble anyone of us(me n jennyu), no worry...haha..well, the point i m trying to say is..i felt warm once again...even jiayu not my family, but when a fren can said that kinda sentence on behalf of me, it shows tat actually the fren are veryyyyy close with me..i would not mind the person said like tat on behalf of me then...tats mean if the person is my BFF..really best fren, i would not feel offensive but warm when they said tat kinda sentence( eg jiayu said sy can trouble me or jennyu if she wat, no worry)...
after all these, as wat i said in the post that i hv posted about my clubbing...i really appreciate 3+3 n thank god for giving them to me actually....n nevertheless, i hv other group of fren like kennji(probbaly no longer now), meiwan, liching, weejun, phooifun, menghuei, waikit, waikwan, shirley tat gang, kitwan, seok fang etc.......n even my collegue eg christine etc n my college fren eg waihong etc ...all these are different type of people n i can experience different lifestyle n observe different point of view on certain matter from different person..ya, its a vry gud thing actually...i appreciate ALL of them....haha..y i sounds so sentimental now?
having said of sentimental..ya, in the way back home i told jennyu tat i found like lifang getting sentimental nowadays since she is not used to b tat type of person...jiayu explain probably she really seldom contact with us esp guys...cz ya, even msn with her, she is the one who msn me first n i reply her..jennyu n jx experience same thing too mayb..(cz afraid she is bz although is online)...n terbalik pulak, the teemaychin in china although saying tat she miss malaysia so much, but it's hard to chat with her even with msn=.= she can jz say hi n next sentence is she bz/sleepy/wana go shit etc.....so neither one of us actually got the chance to really chat with her...if msn cant, phone or email even harder i think..haha
so...tats all for today....(ya, battery low-titile of this post means, i m really sgt tired, gotta sleep to recharge it..haha)but as every post....i m still missing H and the person..
for German, US n Idol aritist..ya, the same thing...this few day, no any/ few new post from them in facebook, youtube their fanpage n etc...esp German...really hope that this 'crushless' feeling will last...
n, today onyl i kno tat person is not single...should i text the person then using this as joke n chat? n, how many spm has passed for H? can u at least gv me a call?
i miss u.....
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
post i gotta upload in order to put me to sleep
15/12/09 1:00am
its 1am in the morning..suppose to get to sleep..but jz duno why i will only get to sleep after posting this...
erm...its nothing special actually..today monday..gotta work..again...
having thought that can ask jiayu's bro n his fren to come for interview on tues , i will inform christine n ah sim on monday...but monday, ah sim ask me how's telemarketer going n i told him my plan...he ask me y dun i arrange the interview on today?so..i ask jiayu to ask his bro to come( luckily i ask jiayu on sunday if i out of sudden ask his bro n his fren to interview on monday izit a problem n she said shouldnt be a problem)..finally, having thought only 2 coming...but 4 came to interview, after lunch around 3pm......so, initially christine said she will interview them with me(ah sim ask me to interview myself actually), cz i dun think i kno at to ask, but when they come, she said she's bz with her thing...so, i interview them all myself..1 by 1...but apparently i took long time to complete the interview=.= haha..can i say that i m really pro in talking or dragging...haha..even i saud nothing to ask but i can take so long=.=..so. cz after getting all done it's almost 5pm....then christine not free to discuss with me, at the end(6pm) ah sim came out from his room n said he will discuss with me abt those candidate tml...k...c how then..whther hiring all 4 or wat..n at first when i tot there are only 2 coming(target hiring i think is 3), christine said no worry, cz if here cant , then she will arrange to advertise it on newspaper on wed, after i decide how many ppl hiring or when there is not enough person coming to interview, tell her the number at the end n she will arrange on tues..
before lunch, actually drive christine to sentul, setapak n balakong with my kenari..went out 10am ++ n come back at around 12pm++ we went a lot of wrong way too..haha.luckily v put rm20 gas in it before going..
n today, called to TM point morning n the person said actually my router no nid to connect to any pc in order to get it wifi, if i duno i can bring to them n let them set for me...but evening i ask my sis to call again...clearify everything n emphasize my router is only router not wifi modem, the person said hv to connect to wifi=.= gave me an empty hope..anyway, will try to call again tml n ask the price for a wifi modem since probably i m not really suitable for this router..
so i posted in fb n msn abt asking if anyone interested in buying my router....haha...10.20pm++ jiayu called me ask abt tml shirley's suprise n later jennyu called. i tot he wana tell sth abt tml...but he ask me do i wana sell my router n he 's thinking of buying it..(i m online but my sis on her msn so he cant talk to me thru msn)but i told him my only router n since h is actually looking for a wifi modem he can actually apply wifi@ home..(but now re-think, i think cant cz he did not start subscibing stramyx this year, as i kno, he used tat long time ago..)but anyhow, i tell him i will tell him more info abt the wifi modem n my router n so on in detail n c whther he wana buy from me a not( i think he is more suitable for router cz he got pc n laptop unlike me only 1 lappie)...since i did an extensive research on all these internet package recently for this stupid freaking hectic router..haha
having tot he wana hang up then, he said, eih, tml he is going to drive us to shirley there after our work..but i suggest that actually i can drive him, jy n jx as well since i m driving to work....but he said probably we will be vry late if i drive cz kena pick them up...(shirley said its 6pm shogun sunway tml)..anyway, i say i'll see how then tml n will let him kno later how's the plan(who driving) after discuss n arrange together with jiayu..
then, at around 10.30pm i called sheauyeong asking abt her suprise for shirley tml..uhm..she said huixin not going, she got no idea...so anywhere, so help her to try to figure those suprise thing(its odd that i m doing this for shirley but since she is only onr thinking n usually 3+3 will b more better in giving suprise,wakaka), finally decide to make a slide show for shirley...i taught her how to use window movie maker...so, v b on the line till 12am++ i think..then she gotta rush the slide show..so i jz saw her to offline jz now(now is 1.41am)..
erm..starting thinking of that person this whole day...n yes, H already finish the SPM since days...no contact from H to me...H?the person? should i contact them directly or wait them to contact me?either one, either way, i m not going to succeed i think...but i do miss them, very much...if i m with them(either one i mean, i m not that greedy, jz havnt figure which i want the most), probably the US German n Idol artist will not affect my everyday feeling n mood so much...
uhm..for German n US n Idol...probably weekend there are not much updates from them in their blog, facebook, youtube....so din watch them for this few day..so the crush feeling fade a little n i gone better...hopefully this better feeling can last....plz, i beg to u, God!or anyone that can stop this feeling...
its 1am in the morning..suppose to get to sleep..but jz duno why i will only get to sleep after posting this...
erm...its nothing special actually..today monday..gotta work..again...
having thought that can ask jiayu's bro n his fren to come for interview on tues , i will inform christine n ah sim on monday...but monday, ah sim ask me how's telemarketer going n i told him my plan...he ask me y dun i arrange the interview on today?so..i ask jiayu to ask his bro to come( luckily i ask jiayu on sunday if i out of sudden ask his bro n his fren to interview on monday izit a problem n she said shouldnt be a problem)..finally, having thought only 2 coming...but 4 came to interview, after lunch around 3pm......so, initially christine said she will interview them with me(ah sim ask me to interview myself actually), cz i dun think i kno at to ask, but when they come, she said she's bz with her thing...so, i interview them all myself..1 by 1...but apparently i took long time to complete the interview=.= haha..can i say that i m really pro in talking or dragging...haha..even i saud nothing to ask but i can take so long=.=..so. cz after getting all done it's almost 5pm....then christine not free to discuss with me, at the end(6pm) ah sim came out from his room n said he will discuss with me abt those candidate tml...k...c how then..whther hiring all 4 or wat..n at first when i tot there are only 2 coming(target hiring i think is 3), christine said no worry, cz if here cant , then she will arrange to advertise it on newspaper on wed, after i decide how many ppl hiring or when there is not enough person coming to interview, tell her the number at the end n she will arrange on tues..
before lunch, actually drive christine to sentul, setapak n balakong with my kenari..went out 10am ++ n come back at around 12pm++ we went a lot of wrong way too..haha.luckily v put rm20 gas in it before going..
n today, called to TM point morning n the person said actually my router no nid to connect to any pc in order to get it wifi, if i duno i can bring to them n let them set for me...but evening i ask my sis to call again...clearify everything n emphasize my router is only router not wifi modem, the person said hv to connect to wifi=.= gave me an empty hope..anyway, will try to call again tml n ask the price for a wifi modem since probably i m not really suitable for this router..
so i posted in fb n msn abt asking if anyone interested in buying my router....haha...10.20pm++ jiayu called me ask abt tml shirley's suprise n later jennyu called. i tot he wana tell sth abt tml...but he ask me do i wana sell my router n he 's thinking of buying it..(i m online but my sis on her msn so he cant talk to me thru msn)but i told him my only router n since h is actually looking for a wifi modem he can actually apply wifi@ home..(but now re-think, i think cant cz he did not start subscibing stramyx this year, as i kno, he used tat long time ago..)but anyhow, i tell him i will tell him more info abt the wifi modem n my router n so on in detail n c whther he wana buy from me a not( i think he is more suitable for router cz he got pc n laptop unlike me only 1 lappie)...since i did an extensive research on all these internet package recently for this stupid freaking hectic router..haha
having tot he wana hang up then, he said, eih, tml he is going to drive us to shirley there after our work..but i suggest that actually i can drive him, jy n jx as well since i m driving to work....but he said probably we will be vry late if i drive cz kena pick them up...(shirley said its 6pm shogun sunway tml)..anyway, i say i'll see how then tml n will let him kno later how's the plan(who driving) after discuss n arrange together with jiayu..
then, at around 10.30pm i called sheauyeong asking abt her suprise for shirley tml..uhm..she said huixin not going, she got no idea...so anywhere, so help her to try to figure those suprise thing(its odd that i m doing this for shirley but since she is only onr thinking n usually 3+3 will b more better in giving suprise,wakaka), finally decide to make a slide show for shirley...i taught her how to use window movie maker...so, v b on the line till 12am++ i think..then she gotta rush the slide show..so i jz saw her to offline jz now(now is 1.41am)..
erm..starting thinking of that person this whole day...n yes, H already finish the SPM since days...no contact from H to me...H?the person? should i contact them directly or wait them to contact me?either one, either way, i m not going to succeed i think...but i do miss them, very much...if i m with them(either one i mean, i m not that greedy, jz havnt figure which i want the most), probably the US German n Idol artist will not affect my everyday feeling n mood so much...
uhm..for German n US n Idol...probably weekend there are not much updates from them in their blog, facebook, youtube....so din watch them for this few day..so the crush feeling fade a little n i gone better...hopefully this better feeling can last....plz, i beg to u, God!or anyone that can stop this feeling...
Sunday, December 13, 2009
wireless
13/12/09 2:07pm
haiz...
wasted a whole of my saturday for my wirless=.=
after calculating n comparing P1, streamyx n add up with TM rm10/28 voice plan..finalli decided to just get a new router worth most...
just bought a router saturday..called to 100 thousand times.. finally found out hv to rm120 for the new router...having tot that i can finally enjoyed wireless in my home...
who knows,gosh...settle it till nite even ask liching here still can't figure out wats the problem...haiz...
tml, jz now precisly...finally found out...a router got to connect with a pc or laptop in order to make the whole house under wifi coverage..but my whole home only got 1 laptop..n the one and only one hv to connect to the router...then wats the point buying a router if i can't get it wireless by itself?
tat means i spent rm120 for the router n now hv to spend another few thousand more the new pc/laptop??haiz..yes, actually i did plan to buy a new laptop before i leave for uk, now, but tats only months before i get to uk...now seems that i hv to buy earlier..haiz...
dell?acer?asus?hp?or vaio?or macbook?!gotta do research later...
n my assignment...3 hv to get done in january!i hv no idea what's all that subject about...gosh!gotta satrt doing too!dun use malaysia habit,procastination, it hv to takes a lot for me to get rid of this native malaysia habit...haha..
n sure, German n US aritst n american idol wan...still having crush on them...
H, the person..i think got no hope on them as well....
how's my story going to end like?i wonder...
haiz...
wasted a whole of my saturday for my wirless=.=
after calculating n comparing P1, streamyx n add up with TM rm10/28 voice plan..finalli decided to just get a new router worth most...
just bought a router saturday..called to 100 thousand times.. finally found out hv to rm120 for the new router...having tot that i can finally enjoyed wireless in my home...
who knows,gosh...settle it till nite even ask liching here still can't figure out wats the problem...haiz...
tml, jz now precisly...finally found out...a router got to connect with a pc or laptop in order to make the whole house under wifi coverage..but my whole home only got 1 laptop..n the one and only one hv to connect to the router...then wats the point buying a router if i can't get it wireless by itself?
tat means i spent rm120 for the router n now hv to spend another few thousand more the new pc/laptop??haiz..yes, actually i did plan to buy a new laptop before i leave for uk, now, but tats only months before i get to uk...now seems that i hv to buy earlier..haiz...
dell?acer?asus?hp?or vaio?or macbook?!gotta do research later...
n my assignment...3 hv to get done in january!i hv no idea what's all that subject about...gosh!gotta satrt doing too!dun use malaysia habit,procastination, it hv to takes a lot for me to get rid of this native malaysia habit...haha..
n sure, German n US aritst n american idol wan...still having crush on them...
H, the person..i think got no hope on them as well....
how's my story going to end like?i wonder...
Saturday, December 12, 2009
missing you
sometime missing you it just doesn't make things any better
but it's way much easier for me to miss you than forget you
for you
i will give everything
but won't give up
if you can hear me
i would like to say
i will be there for you anytime anywhere
until you don't want me to, need me to
but it's way much easier for me to miss you than forget you
for you
i will give everything
but won't give up
if you can hear me
i would like to say
i will be there for you anytime anywhere
until you don't want me to, need me to
friday
1.47am 11/12/09
this post suppose is for friday............
as for promsised, i went to tanjung malim with DTSD..after that, they still going for sing k in neway puchong..gosh, i can;t go with them...haha..just can't mix up with them esp when they get drunk...before this, it suppose jason got to pick me up at skol at 11.30am...erm, probably it's jam, he late to be there on time, summore, when he picked me, they road is still jam, gotta make u-turn n so on.it takes long time to reach office...honestly, i think it's my fault..if i hadnt been to skol and let them to pick me up(although picking me up at skol is not my idea), they would not be late for almost 1 hour. but when ramesh said that(shows like he's blaming ppl or me), jason said it's his fault..i waited for him n he was late, plus after traffic jam....really thanks to him although i still feel guilty now..just duno if he picking up sim's wife n children as well cz when i got up, they are in his car...n, sim'wife really patient n kind person..when v got stucked n sim hasten us, she still can handle that well...got back here without karaoke at 6pm...if follow shawn's car like wat jiayu did, probably will b earlier..haha
erm, after i got back, i checked the forex...wow! i earned 1000++ for the usdjpy! gosh!!!so suprise man! how gud is that if there are all real money...it worth for waited for so many days...i almost lost 1000++ too if i close transaction n stop waiting...but anyway, my coucin brother suggest me to open a new account(demo) n put the amount of the deposit exactly wat i intend to put for the live account later..that only can let me play it as if for really real..ya, tat's gud idea..gotta c how to create a new account with 3000/5000 dollar n replay n pretend that it's real...then i think can learn more....n really hope, i can play for real starting march or april 2010...haha
today when got up U71 to skol, met the uncle i mentioned in few post back..when i first saw, i quickly took out my mp3 n pretend din c him...gosh....who knows, he saw me before i get to put on my mp3...he sat beside me then start talking to meT.T..at first still ok, when i took out my hp he ask me if inside the cellphone any 'leng lui' picture....man! everyone nearby can hear that..they can tot i m fren with him n i m as abnormal as him....haiz...i m praying in my heart hoping any of my fren will get on the bus in any other station soon...luckily masha got up later...i purposely let her notice me...she sat in front of me then then we start chatting till i got down...masha save me once...hhaa...ya, talked about forex with masha a little bit since she's doing sth to do with investment...
mum din cook for dinner...went out for dinner with them n then with liching yamcha in ajimal...haha, wat a coinsidence, saw jiayu mum and dad walking there later n they saw us..erm, they left earlier than us even they came after us....long time din chat with liching..so, tats a lot to talk to her without feeling bored..
so, tats my friday...sms that person, he replied once n din reply then..hopefully can c the person if wat jiayu said was true(probably next thurs going clubbing again0 n try to repeat the scene in last clubbing day^^ i think spm isover, at least for H, wana text H, but, just do not hv the courage...cz afraid no reply, afraid will not get the answer i want.....
n i still hv a huge crush on those German n US artist n one more american idol 8 contestant cz look alike with the german artist i like....haiz...ya, 1 thing hv to mention, the chu hou ren's fanpage in fb, the fan amount much more higher than my german n US artist(except the american idol wan, probably the show is more universal)....last time i checked i think is 2888 fans, now, 3400++ i think...r they sure all of them r the really fans?haha
anyway, only way to cure the huge crush on the german n american idol wan.........probably is get along with H or the person?
i hv totally no idea....
this post suppose is for friday............
as for promsised, i went to tanjung malim with DTSD..after that, they still going for sing k in neway puchong..gosh, i can;t go with them...haha..just can't mix up with them esp when they get drunk...before this, it suppose jason got to pick me up at skol at 11.30am...erm, probably it's jam, he late to be there on time, summore, when he picked me, they road is still jam, gotta make u-turn n so on.it takes long time to reach office...honestly, i think it's my fault..if i hadnt been to skol and let them to pick me up(although picking me up at skol is not my idea), they would not be late for almost 1 hour. but when ramesh said that(shows like he's blaming ppl or me), jason said it's his fault..i waited for him n he was late, plus after traffic jam....really thanks to him although i still feel guilty now..just duno if he picking up sim's wife n children as well cz when i got up, they are in his car...n, sim'wife really patient n kind person..when v got stucked n sim hasten us, she still can handle that well...got back here without karaoke at 6pm...if follow shawn's car like wat jiayu did, probably will b earlier..haha
erm, after i got back, i checked the forex...wow! i earned 1000++ for the usdjpy! gosh!!!so suprise man! how gud is that if there are all real money...it worth for waited for so many days...i almost lost 1000++ too if i close transaction n stop waiting...but anyway, my coucin brother suggest me to open a new account(demo) n put the amount of the deposit exactly wat i intend to put for the live account later..that only can let me play it as if for really real..ya, tat's gud idea..gotta c how to create a new account with 3000/5000 dollar n replay n pretend that it's real...then i think can learn more....n really hope, i can play for real starting march or april 2010...haha
today when got up U71 to skol, met the uncle i mentioned in few post back..when i first saw, i quickly took out my mp3 n pretend din c him...gosh....who knows, he saw me before i get to put on my mp3...he sat beside me then start talking to meT.T..at first still ok, when i took out my hp he ask me if inside the cellphone any 'leng lui' picture....man! everyone nearby can hear that..they can tot i m fren with him n i m as abnormal as him....haiz...i m praying in my heart hoping any of my fren will get on the bus in any other station soon...luckily masha got up later...i purposely let her notice me...she sat in front of me then then we start chatting till i got down...masha save me once...hhaa...ya, talked about forex with masha a little bit since she's doing sth to do with investment...
mum din cook for dinner...went out for dinner with them n then with liching yamcha in ajimal...haha, wat a coinsidence, saw jiayu mum and dad walking there later n they saw us..erm, they left earlier than us even they came after us....long time din chat with liching..so, tats a lot to talk to her without feeling bored..
so, tats my friday...sms that person, he replied once n din reply then..hopefully can c the person if wat jiayu said was true(probably next thurs going clubbing again0 n try to repeat the scene in last clubbing day^^ i think spm isover, at least for H, wana text H, but, just do not hv the courage...cz afraid no reply, afraid will not get the answer i want.....
n i still hv a huge crush on those German n US artist n one more american idol 8 contestant cz look alike with the german artist i like....haiz...ya, 1 thing hv to mention, the chu hou ren's fanpage in fb, the fan amount much more higher than my german n US artist(except the american idol wan, probably the show is more universal)....last time i checked i think is 2888 fans, now, 3400++ i think...r they sure all of them r the really fans?haha
anyway, only way to cure the huge crush on the german n american idol wan.........probably is get along with H or the person?
i hv totally no idea....
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
wednesday
9/12/09 11.25pm
wow...it's already almost 1 day passed...
anyway, tonite, i mean just now...when to meet up with phooifun, weejun, mandy, waikit n haoyang since haoyang just got back from aussie about 2 weeks ago.. they sing k from 2pm-7.30pm in garden red box..they can even sing till 8pm++ since there are np customer n nobody chase them out...haha..
v went to the korea restaurant at kuchai...menghuei went home after karaoke n waikit join them...ya...this is my group of fren from ms kok tuition...
it's totally different when mix with them n 3+3...two different group of fren..but anyway..i appreciate both...
it suppose to b 7.30pm..but i kno they'll be late...n i din plan to have dinner there...so contacted sheauyeong....haha, sheauyeong drove her toyota to my house n fetch me there..first time sitting her car...she drove so cautionly...
cz she ask if i need her lift after i ask her that question at 7.20pm..she said she not going to hv dinner there..so, since v r not having dinner..so v go together n she drive this time since she ask me if i want her to pick me up...wakaka
waited for her till 8.40pm from 7.30pm..din call her cz dunwan to hasten her since she said she just reach home..u kno...girls probably need to do make up n so on...haha...who knows, at 8.40pm she ask me to call her..she ady in my housing area just duno which house is mine....i called to her house but she actually mean call to her hp>.< so she gotta call back her mum to explain since she told her jz now she kno how to get to my hse as she came many time before(it's actually not)...but not bad..she can still remember where my housing area is....she still remember she came before my house once for CNY..wow...
v did not spend any money there..n v went home, around 10.20pm..probably due to the shop going to close oso...it's fast but anyway, going to meet them again...soon..i believe;)
probably going to meet ms kok next time together^^
and my FOREX...since yesterday's trade i have not close it yet...because it's still losing money..i tried GBPJPY, EURUSD and GBPUSD...i pressed something wrongly too yesterday n cause what happen today actually...gosh..now ady 5400USD++ lost....shit!!! still have a lot of time to learn n study how this thing actually works...
wow...it's already almost 1 day passed...
anyway, tonite, i mean just now...when to meet up with phooifun, weejun, mandy, waikit n haoyang since haoyang just got back from aussie about 2 weeks ago.. they sing k from 2pm-7.30pm in garden red box..they can even sing till 8pm++ since there are np customer n nobody chase them out...haha..
v went to the korea restaurant at kuchai...menghuei went home after karaoke n waikit join them...ya...this is my group of fren from ms kok tuition...
it's totally different when mix with them n 3+3...two different group of fren..but anyway..i appreciate both...
it suppose to b 7.30pm..but i kno they'll be late...n i din plan to have dinner there...so contacted sheauyeong....haha, sheauyeong drove her toyota to my house n fetch me there..first time sitting her car...she drove so cautionly...
cz she ask if i need her lift after i ask her that question at 7.20pm..she said she not going to hv dinner there..so, since v r not having dinner..so v go together n she drive this time since she ask me if i want her to pick me up...wakaka
waited for her till 8.40pm from 7.30pm..din call her cz dunwan to hasten her since she said she just reach home..u kno...girls probably need to do make up n so on...haha...who knows, at 8.40pm she ask me to call her..she ady in my housing area just duno which house is mine....i called to her house but she actually mean call to her hp>.< so she gotta call back her mum to explain since she told her jz now she kno how to get to my hse as she came many time before(it's actually not)...but not bad..she can still remember where my housing area is....she still remember she came before my house once for CNY..wow...
v did not spend any money there..n v went home, around 10.20pm..probably due to the shop going to close oso...it's fast but anyway, going to meet them again...soon..i believe;)
probably going to meet ms kok next time together^^
and my FOREX...since yesterday's trade i have not close it yet...because it's still losing money..i tried GBPJPY, EURUSD and GBPUSD...i pressed something wrongly too yesterday n cause what happen today actually...gosh..now ady 5400USD++ lost....shit!!! still have a lot of time to learn n study how this thing actually works...
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
down
8/12/09 11.25pm
man....i m getting down again...
last saturday...i help my mum to paint the house...living room...whole day...
sunday...paint again for kitchen..but it took only a while...then i went out to midvalley...the first time i had my TGI Friday for past 20years..haha...initially, going without thought of buying anything, but at the end bought a watch sine it's consider pretty cheap..haha
wow..when i see the 'noble' work i hv done...u will hv the feeling that soooo proud of it....sunday nite, when i finally can sit down in living room n watched tv..i honestly tot the both light in my living room was turned on n wana go n put one of them off...when i almost press on the switch only found out it's only 1 light on...u see, the whole new paint really make the house look much brighter...haha
monday i work as usual...just after work i go straight to neway puchong with those who went for clubbing that day...just probabaly there are waikwan crystal this time since they just came back to malaysia from singapore...man...it really whole day without rest..after work, straight to neway after jiayu took her shower... then..v can actually hv our buffet from 6-11pm n v can sing till 3am...gosh....so...some of them leave in the middle. since when they leave i ask jennyu when is he leaving(i m following his car)..he said soon, that's why i stay...man! then they turn the whole k-box to club..they push those table aside and play those clubbing song i.e i gotta feeling, poker face etc....they just dance dance dance....so high...but me, i m already exhausted after getting up early n work plus sing k juz now(though i din sing much)...so, i fell asleep while they are dancing....=.=they are so energetic..gotta salute them for this time....
haha..even i think maychin lagi hebat..chat with her that afternoon, v told her v going to sing k later,,,,she told us she is going to sing k from 10pm to 6am...then got buffet(we have as well=.=)..when v say v gotta go...she said ok, she gotta go oso actually...=.= what we wana do, she wanted to as well...so coincidence huh..haha
today tuesday just a normal day....tot of going pasar mlm to support kitwan fren..but it's jam from the moment i went to OUG and it still resume after i get back here...besides, it's too tired after i got the cheque from the tuition center..haiz...gotta back to work in the tuition center again january 2010...n my assignment already 2 are given to us...gosh...everyone having holiday now but not me...
this friday, i think DTSD are going tanjong malim for lunch..no work i think...just enjoy..duno if i got paid for that day>.<
but, i gotta skip half of my evidence class...wow..ah sim ask jason pick me up straight from college at 11.30am...as if i m so VIP...wakaka
well,back to the main topic..yup..i m down....dunno why..probably it's almost midnite...wanted to offline...but my FOREX account keep losing money...gotta earn it back..wrongly press just now and cause this...haiz..next time gotta extra careful esp when deal with real money...really hope that i can open my live account next March....i mean March,2010
for sure...i watched the German show although i hv been telling myself so many time not to. consequnce is...i m getting addicted again n obssesed by them..............ARGH!!!
ya, mollie n meiwan going CA soon...one of my dream place...haha...hv to make sure they buy souvenier for me....esp one from hollywood n one from LA....
haiz...i m sooooooooooooo obssesed by those German artist man...i think this is soooo silly...
i hv a serious thought of it before...the only way to cure the obssesion is....H or the person...probably either one but i m not sure which one is it....
anyhow....my sincere wish and i want it happen so badly: 1) get over with German and US artist, at least not as obssesed as this moment 2) earn real $$ from FOREX till the whole FOREX system is gone.... 3) admit to CA bar, or any state, at least, it's in US....(won't hope for Germany as i want to et over with those German artist....but i like US with or without those artist as i like their accent also^^) 4) get together with H? the person? whoever that can cure my obsession....
whoever up there in heaven..........did you hear me? i gotta believe in You sometimes...you are the one who create this mess for me, if you did not take my world from me, which means it's not the end for me.so i believe that there are solution for sure, just somewhere, which it is not the time for me to find out yet...
man....i m getting down again...
last saturday...i help my mum to paint the house...living room...whole day...
sunday...paint again for kitchen..but it took only a while...then i went out to midvalley...the first time i had my TGI Friday for past 20years..haha...initially, going without thought of buying anything, but at the end bought a watch sine it's consider pretty cheap..haha
wow..when i see the 'noble' work i hv done...u will hv the feeling that soooo proud of it....sunday nite, when i finally can sit down in living room n watched tv..i honestly tot the both light in my living room was turned on n wana go n put one of them off...when i almost press on the switch only found out it's only 1 light on...u see, the whole new paint really make the house look much brighter...haha
monday i work as usual...just after work i go straight to neway puchong with those who went for clubbing that day...just probabaly there are waikwan crystal this time since they just came back to malaysia from singapore...man...it really whole day without rest..after work, straight to neway after jiayu took her shower... then..v can actually hv our buffet from 6-11pm n v can sing till 3am...gosh....so...some of them leave in the middle. since when they leave i ask jennyu when is he leaving(i m following his car)..he said soon, that's why i stay...man! then they turn the whole k-box to club..they push those table aside and play those clubbing song i.e i gotta feeling, poker face etc....they just dance dance dance....so high...but me, i m already exhausted after getting up early n work plus sing k juz now(though i din sing much)...so, i fell asleep while they are dancing....=.=they are so energetic..gotta salute them for this time....
haha..even i think maychin lagi hebat..chat with her that afternoon, v told her v going to sing k later,,,,she told us she is going to sing k from 10pm to 6am...then got buffet(we have as well=.=)..when v say v gotta go...she said ok, she gotta go oso actually...=.= what we wana do, she wanted to as well...so coincidence huh..haha
today tuesday just a normal day....tot of going pasar mlm to support kitwan fren..but it's jam from the moment i went to OUG and it still resume after i get back here...besides, it's too tired after i got the cheque from the tuition center..haiz...gotta back to work in the tuition center again january 2010...n my assignment already 2 are given to us...gosh...everyone having holiday now but not me...
this friday, i think DTSD are going tanjong malim for lunch..no work i think...just enjoy..duno if i got paid for that day>.<
but, i gotta skip half of my evidence class...wow..ah sim ask jason pick me up straight from college at 11.30am...as if i m so VIP...wakaka
well,back to the main topic..yup..i m down....dunno why..probably it's almost midnite...wanted to offline...but my FOREX account keep losing money...gotta earn it back..wrongly press just now and cause this...haiz..next time gotta extra careful esp when deal with real money...really hope that i can open my live account next March....i mean March,2010
for sure...i watched the German show although i hv been telling myself so many time not to. consequnce is...i m getting addicted again n obssesed by them..............ARGH!!!
ya, mollie n meiwan going CA soon...one of my dream place...haha...hv to make sure they buy souvenier for me....esp one from hollywood n one from LA....
haiz...i m sooooooooooooo obssesed by those German artist man...i think this is soooo silly...
i hv a serious thought of it before...the only way to cure the obssesion is....H or the person...probably either one but i m not sure which one is it....
anyhow....my sincere wish and i want it happen so badly: 1) get over with German and US artist, at least not as obssesed as this moment 2) earn real $$ from FOREX till the whole FOREX system is gone.... 3) admit to CA bar, or any state, at least, it's in US....(won't hope for Germany as i want to et over with those German artist....but i like US with or without those artist as i like their accent also^^) 4) get together with H? the person? whoever that can cure my obsession....
whoever up there in heaven..........did you hear me? i gotta believe in You sometimes...you are the one who create this mess for me, if you did not take my world from me, which means it's not the end for me.so i believe that there are solution for sure, just somewhere, which it is not the time for me to find out yet...
Saturday, December 5, 2009
week
5/12/09 12:01am
precisely, my mood is still under nite of 4/12.
if today is still friday, today in last week, yup, i went to clubbing. wow, it;s just 1 week past. how come i feel like mayb it passed long time ago?probably i miss that person...not sure
tuesday, i went for 2012 9.30pm midvalley with originally kitwan,jx and then add on crystal n cheesiang. that day was an exhausting day as i carry a lot when work, even went to cheras batu 9 in the evening. thus, reach home late. tat day was 1/12, jiayu first day's work. v had lunch with seok fang as well. after get back home, gotta rush cz jx suppose to pick me up 7pm then change to 7.10pm. haha, wat i expected, i havnt get ready when jx is here though it already 7.30pm. when i walked down from room, i only realise jx was sitting in my living room n waiting for me. then i gotta return the car to yiyi n rubbish collector came that time n my car blocked the way. wow, it's all in rush. luckily jx din get mad. v all get to have dinner in kim gary then go for movie.2012, it's just..ok...just i remember this:'the moment v stop fighting for each other, that's the moment, v start losing our humanity.'
ya..jx told me his mouth is feeling pain as well..like me..in his view, probably not due to ice as i thought, probably that day clubbing v took a lot of chivas, summore straight without mixing with coke...chivas is 'hot' as what they said in chinese, so, probably it burns our mouth as we took too much...not my mouth cant stand the cold of ice..haha..anyway, it hurts afterall...
wednesday, v went to restaurant jumbo for dinner as seiyi going back cape town. they only inform me when i was in bus. luckily i manage to get the earlier bus after chit chat with my fren in oldtown(as i suppose to get back home much earlier). n today, i realise tat nite i went to jumbo, 6A1 got a gathering. i texted the person tuesday(regarding going movie?) n only got reply on wednesday nite. its already fine, which i tot i wouldnt get any reply. but that person actually wana lend sth from me. is the person reloas n reply me just cz of tat? i dunno. my battery almost died, so i left home for charge n i only reply tat person after reach home about 11pm( i reply the first sms after i reach home n hv to leave then, so only reply after i got back home from dinner)...after got back home, v sms each other for a while regarding the thing that wana lend from me. i think tat time around 11pm++ and accordingly, the 6A1 gathering is till 11pm++ as well. nothing. its nothing i wana specially emphasize. just guessing the person sms with me during the gathering or after the gathering...it's just so 'wu liao' for doing all these..
thursday, nite, the reason i drove to work then skol is gotta get back home A.S.A.P. seiyi going back cape town tat nite n gotta reach airport around 8pm++. so, finally,they went back, of course for us, it takes time for us to get use to the time without them, especially vivienne that live with us for months and finally gotta go home due to visa problem. the person said probably come to my house tonite n get the things as it is in use on friday onwards. i told the person i manage to get home earlier than wat i expected, but finally, the person din come but though, v text each other, for a while.
friday, at nite, originally promise jiayu to bring her fren to nearby boutique as jennyu maychin jx lifang all are not here n she got no car. it's ok for me to help her, u kno, as 3+3. but my family said probably wana go pasar mlm. ok, i can hv my asam laksa then pick them up. who knows, uncle jimmy appears. as promise, he taught me about FOREX. due to this, it drags all the time n finally i cant go pasar malam or pick the girls up. but anyway, it probably worth cz if i master the forex, i can at least earn some money not with my hard working. after all, it's a little bit easy to earn though there are risk n the money are all in USD. however, gotta take few months to study in using demo account before i open the live account. my wish: get playing for real in march or april 2010 then continue playing when i get to UK and earn some money, at least for US's bar fee. then my dream to stay n work in US get closer^^
yes, i gotta confess, i still fallen for US and German artist esp the German wan when i online or facebook. i got addicted and i duno how to get over all these.i hate that. in real life, i confuse, H, or that person????
but shit!!i dont stand a chance, for either one.
precisely, my mood is still under nite of 4/12.
if today is still friday, today in last week, yup, i went to clubbing. wow, it;s just 1 week past. how come i feel like mayb it passed long time ago?probably i miss that person...not sure
tuesday, i went for 2012 9.30pm midvalley with originally kitwan,jx and then add on crystal n cheesiang. that day was an exhausting day as i carry a lot when work, even went to cheras batu 9 in the evening. thus, reach home late. tat day was 1/12, jiayu first day's work. v had lunch with seok fang as well. after get back home, gotta rush cz jx suppose to pick me up 7pm then change to 7.10pm. haha, wat i expected, i havnt get ready when jx is here though it already 7.30pm. when i walked down from room, i only realise jx was sitting in my living room n waiting for me. then i gotta return the car to yiyi n rubbish collector came that time n my car blocked the way. wow, it's all in rush. luckily jx din get mad. v all get to have dinner in kim gary then go for movie.2012, it's just..ok...just i remember this:'the moment v stop fighting for each other, that's the moment, v start losing our humanity.'
ya..jx told me his mouth is feeling pain as well..like me..in his view, probably not due to ice as i thought, probably that day clubbing v took a lot of chivas, summore straight without mixing with coke...chivas is 'hot' as what they said in chinese, so, probably it burns our mouth as we took too much...not my mouth cant stand the cold of ice..haha..anyway, it hurts afterall...
wednesday, v went to restaurant jumbo for dinner as seiyi going back cape town. they only inform me when i was in bus. luckily i manage to get the earlier bus after chit chat with my fren in oldtown(as i suppose to get back home much earlier). n today, i realise tat nite i went to jumbo, 6A1 got a gathering. i texted the person tuesday(regarding going movie?) n only got reply on wednesday nite. its already fine, which i tot i wouldnt get any reply. but that person actually wana lend sth from me. is the person reloas n reply me just cz of tat? i dunno. my battery almost died, so i left home for charge n i only reply tat person after reach home about 11pm( i reply the first sms after i reach home n hv to leave then, so only reply after i got back home from dinner)...after got back home, v sms each other for a while regarding the thing that wana lend from me. i think tat time around 11pm++ and accordingly, the 6A1 gathering is till 11pm++ as well. nothing. its nothing i wana specially emphasize. just guessing the person sms with me during the gathering or after the gathering...it's just so 'wu liao' for doing all these..
thursday, nite, the reason i drove to work then skol is gotta get back home A.S.A.P. seiyi going back cape town tat nite n gotta reach airport around 8pm++. so, finally,they went back, of course for us, it takes time for us to get use to the time without them, especially vivienne that live with us for months and finally gotta go home due to visa problem. the person said probably come to my house tonite n get the things as it is in use on friday onwards. i told the person i manage to get home earlier than wat i expected, but finally, the person din come but though, v text each other, for a while.
friday, at nite, originally promise jiayu to bring her fren to nearby boutique as jennyu maychin jx lifang all are not here n she got no car. it's ok for me to help her, u kno, as 3+3. but my family said probably wana go pasar mlm. ok, i can hv my asam laksa then pick them up. who knows, uncle jimmy appears. as promise, he taught me about FOREX. due to this, it drags all the time n finally i cant go pasar malam or pick the girls up. but anyway, it probably worth cz if i master the forex, i can at least earn some money not with my hard working. after all, it's a little bit easy to earn though there are risk n the money are all in USD. however, gotta take few months to study in using demo account before i open the live account. my wish: get playing for real in march or april 2010 then continue playing when i get to UK and earn some money, at least for US's bar fee. then my dream to stay n work in US get closer^^
yes, i gotta confess, i still fallen for US and German artist esp the German wan when i online or facebook. i got addicted and i duno how to get over all these.i hate that. in real life, i confuse, H, or that person????
but shit!!i dont stand a chance, for either one.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
is it me? is it for real?
28/11/09 11:16pm
that's the question i have been asking to myself now.
yesterday, i blogged a lot. i was thinking of go and not to go for clubbing all day long. on the evening, i saw jx still online. so, thinking i can still tell them i will join them. but 7pm, he offline. the time i thought, ya, i wont be going this time alhtough it's really a right time for me to go, due 1) i m home alone, nobody will realise n nag on me if i go home late 2)i m 20, i should go n experience myself at least once, just to discover, what is clubbing. 3)sheauyeong n liching encourage me to go, even sheauyeong, she said she will consider going if she free, never tot she will say that cz she is not that type of person.4) if i m so into US and Germany, either for their country or the particular artist, i gotta adopt n adapt to their lifestyle, n clubbing is the most significance one. 5)mayb i think i will be bored cz of my poor socialize skill n i lazy to socialize, but shirley said she is same as me, only can mix with jiayu n jiaxi, n she is the first timer as well, just like me, hoping to experience ourself.
guess what, at arouund 8pm++, i saw jennyu online. asking him with the thought that they already went there, he said they are going at 9pm. so just chatting a little bit about clubbing later, i go for showering in case i decided to go with them, n finally at around 8.35pm i think, u kno wat, i decided to go. yes, jennyu cant believe it even myself too. he tot i m kdding him. but anyway, yes, i decided to go this time for so many right reason. but they are some transport problem then. thinking can jx car fit 6 n should v be 6 in a car n watsoever, after discussing with jennyu n jx, v got it sorted out. i drive the four wheel drive there. at first, i can tell, jennyu is a person that kind to his fren. he kno i m going, he kno i m not the type tat wana go clubbing, he kno who n how i m, he kno what's my position when i decided to go but got transport problem, he just understand me so well, when i tell him what me n jx think after thinking tat 6 youngster not gud to be in a car midnite, he said:' tell jx, don't worry, just fetch 6 of us to KK and i will change to the other car(whichever call that are going)'
it's nothing for him though, i was so overwhelm when he said that. i realise how he treat his fren, i realise how lucky i m tat i can hv such fren. but anyway, if he change to other car, how about jiayu that be in jx car n with the thought tat jennyu n be together with her in jx car. all that happen just because i said i wana go at the last minute. jennyu just keep on assruing me with 'dont worry, just hv fun'.man! thanks a lot, jennyu.
jx n i kno that i m the one who should change to the other car cz kitwan dont kno them well, bibian(jiayu kitwan UMS fren) dont even kno them n summore i tell them only at the last minute. during discussion, v thought of how about jiayu if jennyu change car, but jx did not say i should change the car, but i kno i m the most suitable wan. so finally, i offer that i drive the four wheel drive there. jx ask me to better inform jennyu about this to avoid he 'scold' me. ok, i inform jennyu.
but when i reach jennyu house, he ask me to get into jx car.huh?i tot i m driving to KL...but jennyu insist on that(of course i din tell the real reason i m driving), so finally got on jx car. when jiayu was told that jennyu changing car, i felt guilty. really. but fortunately, i dunno whether did she kno jennyu wana change car, one of the reason is cz of me, she is fine with it. she said it's ok cz jennyu havent meet them after get back from aussie, jennyu would like to chat with them. mayb jiayu kno i m causing jennyu to change car, but she said nothing, she din even say a single word about me n put the blame on me or jiayu kno i would not like to change car cz i m not really close with them compared to jennyu(probably she din think of these though) but either way, gotta thanks jiayu here oso.
finally, jiaxi driving all us there by following qing yao's car. ya, hv to mention, among few of us, jx is the one who always be the driver n picking up n sending everyone home n din even complain anything.
this time, i just feel i m so lucky. in just a short while, i can see how my fren can understand me n tolerate with all these. thank a lot jx, jennyu jiayu.
all these while, i hv not been thought that i m so lucky like what i feel right now.
finally, after a 'whole tour' of KL, we reach the club. the name of the club is 'popitt'/ 'pompitt' i think. (found out, it's 'poppy'. and the whisky we drank- 'chivas')not really sure. get inside, wow, that's first time i get into club. those who r experienced settle where v the bill n where we sit, i m just along the ride. i tot i won't get drunk n i will get bored. but man!when the drinks come, i strted to mix up with them. at first i was just chitchatting with shirley jiasen bibian....but later, i drink more n more, probably they are forcing everyone to drink te whisky straight away, about 12am ++, it's time for me to feel sleepy normally, but this time, i can feel not only sleepy, a little bit dizzy. mayb sleepy is the cause at the first place, but anyway, i think i m going to b drunk soon (i think i mt the fastest who got down,haha, but acc to shirley, i din look like drunk even till today she said tat)i can feel tat i got no energy to stand, i m little bit within my control but when i start to speak, the words coming out from the mouth got a little different in my mind. man..finally i understand all these drunk condition.i was a little worried that time cz i assure jx that i wont get drunk cz i m so sure, so i can still drive in case he get drunk. n it's first time to feel dizzy cause of alcohol like tat, i afraid i will tell some secret that i hv been keeping for so long. jennyu ask me to take some ice. later, i start seeing everyone getting high one by one, they starting to take ice n lemon, according to kinleong, taking non alcohol can at least reduce the alcohol effect. so i just did what they did.
(ya,what a coincidence, i met with a primary skol fren there. he called me at the first place. so suprise that i can meet him there, though v r fren in fb)
as time goes by, everyone getting higher n higher. they start dancing, tossing, n keep on forcing ppl to drink...haha..even myself...v dance...especially them...haha, i can tell that all those moement is under alcohol infuence cz normally they wont do that. haha, funny, qingyao drag me n hold my hand up n dance..haha..n when they force me to drink when i started to get drunk, i refuse by telling them i gotta drive later, but cheesiang told me no worry, v will yumcha later to let us awake from the infuece of alcohol.i forced by them to drink the whisky straight away about three times=10 minutes ++ i think. some even more.
at the mean while,some couldnt take that anymore. apparently, after u drink, dun try to sit, go move n dance as u like so u wont 'suffer'. so what i can see, some was dancing n some was resting and some even puke. cheehong vomit a lot. jiaxi did vomit. that's ppl who down at the very start.at the end, jiasen n jennyu sat doen after dancing, they felt very suffer that time. trying to vomit, trying to make themself feel better...
later, i stop feeling dizzy but when i walk, i can feel that i couldnt walk straight. as a conclusion, everyone just rest, dance , rest , dance...ya, some of them smoking.later i saw few of us went to the dancefloor.
the club close at 3am. v rest a while inside the club then when got chased out, v waiting outside the club while waiting some of them to pick up their car. i can see jennyu n jiasen still very uncomfortable. one more, cheehong. he said duno y this time he just cant take it. so i told him i was home alone and it's fine for me if he wana sleep in my hse. so finally, v decided that i drive his car to my house and he just sleep with me.
before get back my house, v went to KK. by the time i pick up cheehong car with him, other was left. usually this is their practice after clubbing. get to a shop to grab a bite, mayb it's to help in the heatlh sense. probably reduce the burden of our organ. when i n cheehonng reach KK, jennyu jiayu kitwan bibian and cheesiang was not there. apparently, jennyu is so unokay till he gotta go home. so kitwan drive jx car to his house. without waiting them to get back, those in KK again decided go to not second but third round-jennyu house.
but shirley kinleong n shengeu go home tat time.
cheehong said just follow them n if they wana stop by in jennyu house a while, he will follow. so i drive him there as well. yes, jennyu home alone too. haha.tats y we went there. boy continue chatting in living room,some went showering, haha, this is first time that i can discover what their topic like, cheehong slept, since i was sleepy n just listening to them without talking, i slept, just for a while. then i went upstair to chat with girls. then i got down again.i wanted to ask cheehong to go to my hse so tat he can even myself can sleep , at least in a proper way n on bed. but since he was sleeping, i just let him be cz duno how to wake him up. finally at 6am ++, they decided to go their own way, means go home. n, sleep.
after got back home, cheehong just sleep straight away after he change her pants. i went to brush my teeth n wash my face n gosh...i saw some blood when i gargle. finally i discover my tongue was bleeding. n my whole mouth makes me feel pain. probably is due to that i ate too much ice and it's too cold for the mouth n tongue to take it, so it hurts my mouth. it is still hurt until now.
it's raining at the time v wana sleep. when i got on bed, i tot he slept. suddenly he said wat take me so long to finish showering. (but i din shower)haha...yes, v slept on my bed in my room.anyway, with his gel-ed hair n unwash face n mouth, v slept. at 10.48am ++ i woke up a while n n awake for a while while all the time i slept. i realise that it's like i m taking the whole bed n he's forced to corner n cannot move by me. pai seh pai seh.until 1pm++ the next day, i gotta wake up cz originlally i gotta work in lin yi lian concert with seok fang n laitoong at 3pm. so i hv to wake up now cz i havent fold the shirt that was already dry since morning, n i gotta wash the cups, boil the water, mop, sweep....
leaving chee hong alone on the bed, i get up n do all this house work with the intention that finish it so that i can get to the concert on time. but who knows, in the middle of the process of doing hsework, i check my sms n found out the job cancel due to the agency quarel with the organizer=.= i should hv seen this earlier so that i would not hv to wake up so early(it's already afternoon though)what to do, i m already in the half way. so thinking gotta finsh it n in case after that cheehong hasnt wake up, i gotta ask him do him want me to cook something for him as i plan to cook some mee as 'brunch'. n he can continue sleeping until i finish with the cook.
so when i m mopping my living room, (almost dome my housework), he woke up n came down without his shirt.=.= later, while im m done with the mopping of my kitchen n housework, he ask me for towel. so he wanna bathe. he said probably everyone still sleeping cz no one pick up the phone.while he bathe, he got few call in his cell phone. ya, i din pick up on behalf of him.later he told me that kitwan called n told him they r going sunway n he ask me if i wana go. he said v can go pak tor there n i reply there is so many ppl how to pak tor n he say can de..=.= anyway, i decided not to go sunway with them. ya, probably spend too much money for clubbing.
so he send me to jennyu house to collect my car. luckily it was not stolen.on the way, he asked me if i wana grab a bite but i tot they wana eat in sunway. then he said yesterday already spend a lot, gotta save some today.haha, i see there's actually somebody ha a same tot with me.then without deciding whther wana eat to together or not, the conversation just end.=.=v saw jennyu n jiayu getting inside the car. i see, jennyu is not going, only sending jiayu there n they said jx woke up not long ago as well, the time is about 2.30pm that time. then i asked cheehong is he the only boy there, he said cheesiang was there waiting for him.i see.so,drive to sunway n meet jiayu n others there after dropped me. i told him dun betray mein sunway.haha.when i got down from his car , he said'good bye darling'.=.=anyway, jennyu said he called me just now, i tot he called just to tell me they r going sunway.he is actually not. he wana ask how i get to his hse to collect my car since he is out there he can give me a drive. he duno cheehong went to my house. before he leave for sunway, he asked me with the weird tone n look' u sleep with cheehong?' i said yes n he give me the weird smiling=.=so lets continue to b funny with him, i tell him n jiayu i n cheehong are couple n yesterday v already....u kno..haha... i tot he kno cheehong went to my hse, ya, now i realise he was not there everytime cheehong answering the question where he gonna sleep yesterday nite.
so that's end for this story. i went to sheauyeong hse to collect my notes n then back home then n continue with my home after buying roti canai back home n watch the tv drama due to i cant get a accompany to hv lunch together after i tried to call so many person, probably it's already about 3.30pm.the time is odd.should hv decide with cheehing tat i eat with him togeher before he get to sunway.
this is the longest blog i ever posted. i took approximately 3 hour to finish this. but anyway, put it in a nutshell, clubbing is not a bad idea for me. i pretty enjoy it. i will definately club again. everyhting happen yesterday nite till today morning, i m still obssessed with it n it's so unbelieveable for me. it's like a ....dream? not sure....ya, anyway, i m trying my best to get over with H and German US actor, n at least for now, mayb i succeed.
so, is it real me from last nite 9pm-today 3.00pm?
that's the question i have been asking to myself now.
yesterday, i blogged a lot. i was thinking of go and not to go for clubbing all day long. on the evening, i saw jx still online. so, thinking i can still tell them i will join them. but 7pm, he offline. the time i thought, ya, i wont be going this time alhtough it's really a right time for me to go, due 1) i m home alone, nobody will realise n nag on me if i go home late 2)i m 20, i should go n experience myself at least once, just to discover, what is clubbing. 3)sheauyeong n liching encourage me to go, even sheauyeong, she said she will consider going if she free, never tot she will say that cz she is not that type of person.4) if i m so into US and Germany, either for their country or the particular artist, i gotta adopt n adapt to their lifestyle, n clubbing is the most significance one. 5)mayb i think i will be bored cz of my poor socialize skill n i lazy to socialize, but shirley said she is same as me, only can mix with jiayu n jiaxi, n she is the first timer as well, just like me, hoping to experience ourself.
guess what, at arouund 8pm++, i saw jennyu online. asking him with the thought that they already went there, he said they are going at 9pm. so just chatting a little bit about clubbing later, i go for showering in case i decided to go with them, n finally at around 8.35pm i think, u kno wat, i decided to go. yes, jennyu cant believe it even myself too. he tot i m kdding him. but anyway, yes, i decided to go this time for so many right reason. but they are some transport problem then. thinking can jx car fit 6 n should v be 6 in a car n watsoever, after discussing with jennyu n jx, v got it sorted out. i drive the four wheel drive there. at first, i can tell, jennyu is a person that kind to his fren. he kno i m going, he kno i m not the type tat wana go clubbing, he kno who n how i m, he kno what's my position when i decided to go but got transport problem, he just understand me so well, when i tell him what me n jx think after thinking tat 6 youngster not gud to be in a car midnite, he said:' tell jx, don't worry, just fetch 6 of us to KK and i will change to the other car(whichever call that are going)'
it's nothing for him though, i was so overwhelm when he said that. i realise how he treat his fren, i realise how lucky i m tat i can hv such fren. but anyway, if he change to other car, how about jiayu that be in jx car n with the thought tat jennyu n be together with her in jx car. all that happen just because i said i wana go at the last minute. jennyu just keep on assruing me with 'dont worry, just hv fun'.man! thanks a lot, jennyu.
jx n i kno that i m the one who should change to the other car cz kitwan dont kno them well, bibian(jiayu kitwan UMS fren) dont even kno them n summore i tell them only at the last minute. during discussion, v thought of how about jiayu if jennyu change car, but jx did not say i should change the car, but i kno i m the most suitable wan. so finally, i offer that i drive the four wheel drive there. jx ask me to better inform jennyu about this to avoid he 'scold' me. ok, i inform jennyu.
but when i reach jennyu house, he ask me to get into jx car.huh?i tot i m driving to KL...but jennyu insist on that(of course i din tell the real reason i m driving), so finally got on jx car. when jiayu was told that jennyu changing car, i felt guilty. really. but fortunately, i dunno whether did she kno jennyu wana change car, one of the reason is cz of me, she is fine with it. she said it's ok cz jennyu havent meet them after get back from aussie, jennyu would like to chat with them. mayb jiayu kno i m causing jennyu to change car, but she said nothing, she din even say a single word about me n put the blame on me or jiayu kno i would not like to change car cz i m not really close with them compared to jennyu(probably she din think of these though) but either way, gotta thanks jiayu here oso.
finally, jiaxi driving all us there by following qing yao's car. ya, hv to mention, among few of us, jx is the one who always be the driver n picking up n sending everyone home n din even complain anything.
this time, i just feel i m so lucky. in just a short while, i can see how my fren can understand me n tolerate with all these. thank a lot jx, jennyu jiayu.
all these while, i hv not been thought that i m so lucky like what i feel right now.
finally, after a 'whole tour' of KL, we reach the club. the name of the club is 'popitt'/ 'pompitt' i think. (found out, it's 'poppy'. and the whisky we drank- 'chivas')not really sure. get inside, wow, that's first time i get into club. those who r experienced settle where v the bill n where we sit, i m just along the ride. i tot i won't get drunk n i will get bored. but man!when the drinks come, i strted to mix up with them. at first i was just chitchatting with shirley jiasen bibian....but later, i drink more n more, probably they are forcing everyone to drink te whisky straight away, about 12am ++, it's time for me to feel sleepy normally, but this time, i can feel not only sleepy, a little bit dizzy. mayb sleepy is the cause at the first place, but anyway, i think i m going to b drunk soon (i think i mt the fastest who got down,haha, but acc to shirley, i din look like drunk even till today she said tat)i can feel tat i got no energy to stand, i m little bit within my control but when i start to speak, the words coming out from the mouth got a little different in my mind. man..finally i understand all these drunk condition.i was a little worried that time cz i assure jx that i wont get drunk cz i m so sure, so i can still drive in case he get drunk. n it's first time to feel dizzy cause of alcohol like tat, i afraid i will tell some secret that i hv been keeping for so long. jennyu ask me to take some ice. later, i start seeing everyone getting high one by one, they starting to take ice n lemon, according to kinleong, taking non alcohol can at least reduce the alcohol effect. so i just did what they did.
(ya,what a coincidence, i met with a primary skol fren there. he called me at the first place. so suprise that i can meet him there, though v r fren in fb)
as time goes by, everyone getting higher n higher. they start dancing, tossing, n keep on forcing ppl to drink...haha..even myself...v dance...especially them...haha, i can tell that all those moement is under alcohol infuence cz normally they wont do that. haha, funny, qingyao drag me n hold my hand up n dance..haha..n when they force me to drink when i started to get drunk, i refuse by telling them i gotta drive later, but cheesiang told me no worry, v will yumcha later to let us awake from the infuece of alcohol.i forced by them to drink the whisky straight away about three times=10 minutes ++ i think. some even more.
at the mean while,some couldnt take that anymore. apparently, after u drink, dun try to sit, go move n dance as u like so u wont 'suffer'. so what i can see, some was dancing n some was resting and some even puke. cheehong vomit a lot. jiaxi did vomit. that's ppl who down at the very start.at the end, jiasen n jennyu sat doen after dancing, they felt very suffer that time. trying to vomit, trying to make themself feel better...
later, i stop feeling dizzy but when i walk, i can feel that i couldnt walk straight. as a conclusion, everyone just rest, dance , rest , dance...ya, some of them smoking.later i saw few of us went to the dancefloor.
the club close at 3am. v rest a while inside the club then when got chased out, v waiting outside the club while waiting some of them to pick up their car. i can see jennyu n jiasen still very uncomfortable. one more, cheehong. he said duno y this time he just cant take it. so i told him i was home alone and it's fine for me if he wana sleep in my hse. so finally, v decided that i drive his car to my house and he just sleep with me.
before get back my house, v went to KK. by the time i pick up cheehong car with him, other was left. usually this is their practice after clubbing. get to a shop to grab a bite, mayb it's to help in the heatlh sense. probably reduce the burden of our organ. when i n cheehonng reach KK, jennyu jiayu kitwan bibian and cheesiang was not there. apparently, jennyu is so unokay till he gotta go home. so kitwan drive jx car to his house. without waiting them to get back, those in KK again decided go to not second but third round-jennyu house.
but shirley kinleong n shengeu go home tat time.
cheehong said just follow them n if they wana stop by in jennyu house a while, he will follow. so i drive him there as well. yes, jennyu home alone too. haha.tats y we went there. boy continue chatting in living room,some went showering, haha, this is first time that i can discover what their topic like, cheehong slept, since i was sleepy n just listening to them without talking, i slept, just for a while. then i went upstair to chat with girls. then i got down again.i wanted to ask cheehong to go to my hse so tat he can even myself can sleep , at least in a proper way n on bed. but since he was sleeping, i just let him be cz duno how to wake him up. finally at 6am ++, they decided to go their own way, means go home. n, sleep.
after got back home, cheehong just sleep straight away after he change her pants. i went to brush my teeth n wash my face n gosh...i saw some blood when i gargle. finally i discover my tongue was bleeding. n my whole mouth makes me feel pain. probably is due to that i ate too much ice and it's too cold for the mouth n tongue to take it, so it hurts my mouth. it is still hurt until now.
it's raining at the time v wana sleep. when i got on bed, i tot he slept. suddenly he said wat take me so long to finish showering. (but i din shower)haha...yes, v slept on my bed in my room.anyway, with his gel-ed hair n unwash face n mouth, v slept. at 10.48am ++ i woke up a while n n awake for a while while all the time i slept. i realise that it's like i m taking the whole bed n he's forced to corner n cannot move by me. pai seh pai seh.until 1pm++ the next day, i gotta wake up cz originlally i gotta work in lin yi lian concert with seok fang n laitoong at 3pm. so i hv to wake up now cz i havent fold the shirt that was already dry since morning, n i gotta wash the cups, boil the water, mop, sweep....
leaving chee hong alone on the bed, i get up n do all this house work with the intention that finish it so that i can get to the concert on time. but who knows, in the middle of the process of doing hsework, i check my sms n found out the job cancel due to the agency quarel with the organizer=.= i should hv seen this earlier so that i would not hv to wake up so early(it's already afternoon though)what to do, i m already in the half way. so thinking gotta finsh it n in case after that cheehong hasnt wake up, i gotta ask him do him want me to cook something for him as i plan to cook some mee as 'brunch'. n he can continue sleeping until i finish with the cook.
so when i m mopping my living room, (almost dome my housework), he woke up n came down without his shirt.=.= later, while im m done with the mopping of my kitchen n housework, he ask me for towel. so he wanna bathe. he said probably everyone still sleeping cz no one pick up the phone.while he bathe, he got few call in his cell phone. ya, i din pick up on behalf of him.later he told me that kitwan called n told him they r going sunway n he ask me if i wana go. he said v can go pak tor there n i reply there is so many ppl how to pak tor n he say can de..=.= anyway, i decided not to go sunway with them. ya, probably spend too much money for clubbing.
so he send me to jennyu house to collect my car. luckily it was not stolen.on the way, he asked me if i wana grab a bite but i tot they wana eat in sunway. then he said yesterday already spend a lot, gotta save some today.haha, i see there's actually somebody ha a same tot with me.then without deciding whther wana eat to together or not, the conversation just end.=.=v saw jennyu n jiayu getting inside the car. i see, jennyu is not going, only sending jiayu there n they said jx woke up not long ago as well, the time is about 2.30pm that time. then i asked cheehong is he the only boy there, he said cheesiang was there waiting for him.i see.so,drive to sunway n meet jiayu n others there after dropped me. i told him dun betray mein sunway.haha.when i got down from his car , he said'good bye darling'.=.=anyway, jennyu said he called me just now, i tot he called just to tell me they r going sunway.he is actually not. he wana ask how i get to his hse to collect my car since he is out there he can give me a drive. he duno cheehong went to my house. before he leave for sunway, he asked me with the weird tone n look' u sleep with cheehong?' i said yes n he give me the weird smiling=.=so lets continue to b funny with him, i tell him n jiayu i n cheehong are couple n yesterday v already....u kno..haha... i tot he kno cheehong went to my hse, ya, now i realise he was not there everytime cheehong answering the question where he gonna sleep yesterday nite.
so that's end for this story. i went to sheauyeong hse to collect my notes n then back home then n continue with my home after buying roti canai back home n watch the tv drama due to i cant get a accompany to hv lunch together after i tried to call so many person, probably it's already about 3.30pm.the time is odd.should hv decide with cheehing tat i eat with him togeher before he get to sunway.
this is the longest blog i ever posted. i took approximately 3 hour to finish this. but anyway, put it in a nutshell, clubbing is not a bad idea for me. i pretty enjoy it. i will definately club again. everyhting happen yesterday nite till today morning, i m still obssessed with it n it's so unbelieveable for me. it's like a ....dream? not sure....ya, anyway, i m trying my best to get over with H and German US actor, n at least for now, mayb i succeed.
so, is it real me from last nite 9pm-today 3.00pm?
Friday, November 27, 2009
no name2
27/11/2009 7:32pm
day by day,
i just can't stand it,
why the heck you are so acting in that way,
why the hell you think as if you are among the best,
why the damn freaking creepy thought is so attachs with you?
these are creeping me out,
and could you please,
stop it so it won't
drag other people in,
to your world.
it could be that you did not mean to though,
it is just so disgusting annoying irritating to me.
probably you are outstanding a little bit, but just because of that it doesn't mean you are the best, or among the best.
probably it is the fate that you are borned with these, a little gift from God, but just because of that it doesn't mean that you are so unreachable.
sometimes i think it's better we go our own way, and don't ever try to meet again.
because even now when i think of your act all this while,
i wana puke!!!
day by day,
i just can't stand it,
why the heck you are so acting in that way,
why the hell you think as if you are among the best,
why the damn freaking creepy thought is so attachs with you?
these are creeping me out,
and could you please,
stop it so it won't
drag other people in,
to your world.
it could be that you did not mean to though,
it is just so disgusting annoying irritating to me.
probably you are outstanding a little bit, but just because of that it doesn't mean you are the best, or among the best.
probably it is the fate that you are borned with these, a little gift from God, but just because of that it doesn't mean that you are so unreachable.
sometimes i think it's better we go our own way, and don't ever try to meet again.
because even now when i think of your act all this while,
i wana puke!!!
no name
27/11/09 6:59pm
1 more minute to 7pm.
i don't know how stubborn i am
i don't know how strong i can be
but i want you to know, i can't stop missing you, when you are not belong to me
believe this!
i can't even explain myself now
time passes fast, i appreciate this.
but how fast have me to go to get together with u?
just because i don't hold your step when you go, doesn't mean i don't want to
just because i don't show my feelings, doesn't mean that i don't have
just because i don't say i love you, doesn't mean i don't
just because i m giving everything, for us, doesn't mean i will give up
thus, can you tell, how much i love you?
i can live, because u perfect my imperfect life.
people justifying us non stop if we are together, i know explaination is the only way out.
but one thing i doubt one thing i start wondering
do i even stand a chance to at least explain to them?
a.k.a do i get a chance to be with you?
'when somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe',
could i make all these straight up all these courage to say
i love you, and then you'll be able to stay
with me
baby, everything is out of control, i did not even mean it.
it is simply because , sorry to me,
we did not meant to be.
1 more minute to 7pm.
i don't know how stubborn i am
i don't know how strong i can be
but i want you to know, i can't stop missing you, when you are not belong to me
believe this!
i can't even explain myself now
time passes fast, i appreciate this.
but how fast have me to go to get together with u?
just because i don't hold your step when you go, doesn't mean i don't want to
just because i don't show my feelings, doesn't mean that i don't have
just because i don't say i love you, doesn't mean i don't
just because i m giving everything, for us, doesn't mean i will give up
thus, can you tell, how much i love you?
i can live, because u perfect my imperfect life.
people justifying us non stop if we are together, i know explaination is the only way out.
but one thing i doubt one thing i start wondering
do i even stand a chance to at least explain to them?
a.k.a do i get a chance to be with you?
'when somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe',
could i make all these straight up all these courage to say
i love you, and then you'll be able to stay
with me
baby, everything is out of control, i did not even mean it.
it is simply because , sorry to me,
we did not meant to be.
untitled
27/11/09 2:33am
it's late night...again..
it's fast that time passed...jiayu jiaxi got back last week..v met on thursday on k3k cafe..then jennyu got back from aussie on 23/11....erm..ya..then on 24/11 jx n jennyu's family plus me n jiayu had dinner together, just like wat v did last time few day after jennyu left for aussie...this time, as opposed to last time v went to jx hse for his kuih lapis, v went to jennyu hse..nothing..just chit chat..wif jennyu n jx family... till late night.
thusday till saturday this week..i will b home alone....whole family went to langkawi, since friday is public holiday...i wanted to join them initially..but finally i did not cz dun wan to skip thursday evidence n tort class...haiz...i should hv followed them..
today the first day, but it is still ok. i went to office on the morning, then rush foor classes till 7.45pm reach home. then out for dinner. tot of jx had cancelled the movie cz he did not call me to confirm, but when i just went for dinner he called saying the movie plan is still on. so after they went to mv to try to make any ticket, then plan to move to pavillion or times square n i rush home after dinner n shower then check online for the seat....they decided not to go. then i change my cloth back to normal.then they call me to go out n ask me to change back to outing dress cz they most probably going for club....who knows, finally v went to ajimal cz jiayu cant go home late today...so, jennyu, jiayu, jiaxi n kitwan plus me, went to ajimal...it seems like i purposely change my outfit just for ajimal =.= haha..funny..then since i online just now..i resume it after i reach home till now...
tml they are going for clubbing as well..yes, i wana go though, but mab not with them, i mean the freinds that go together with them....simply becz i really can't mix up with them esp go to club...mayb it's my poor socialize skill...gotta fix it..
ya, i called seok fang jz now. v chat for a while n probably friday will out with her a while using the excuse that i lend my pc for her to online to check her result ^.^...then she ask me about the work for concert...erm..since i got nothing to do on saturday...just go with her...accompany her ba...doesnt matter jiayu jx kitwan going or not...
originally khailang will come to my hse to accompany me tonite n probably overnite..but due to i out with 3+3, erm, just ask him wake me up tml morning n come to my hse...n probably overnite here tml ba after his work^^
ya, that is all my plan on this 3 home alone day...even no all that, planning to study at the first place, but my mum just bought few hot TVB drama n a singapore comedy...haha..i can watch those for this three day as well if i will not be going out on the coming three days...haha
so...honestly...it has been an exhausting day to me...sleepy...but no mood to sleep......probabaly haven't watch the German show. n, to b very frank....just duno y..i m very down...since after i went out with them...erm...mayb it's midnite now n i will start acting emotional...worse when i m listening to music...
down...because i m missing H? probably..i m not sure....
just feel so lonely every mid nite....
i kno it's time for me to get one. but it's all out of my hand. i did want to. but all the surronding circumstnces doesnt seems allow me to do so...
i text H asking about the SPM at the moment i went for dinner. no reply, that's wat i expected.
but anyway, to be true, i miss H. really. besides those Germany n US artist.
if one day i got to Germany or USA with H together, i think it's the best thing ever happen in my life. meeting those artist? gosh!it's just perfect my perfect life.
i m addicted to German n US artist right away ever since i saw them, esp German.and, i m obssessed with H. why? even myself can't believe it!
everyone that really wana kno , listen. it's not my control that i remain single now. just everything doesnt goes right for me as they go.
and H, if u wana kno, i m so obssessed with u right now. i love you. i kno u dunwan to. but i din mean to as well. u hv stolen my heart. missing someone that u did not mean any single thing to the person, it's hurt, it's killing me.
just one thing i doubt, one thing i consider, one thing makes me hesitate, one thing makes me wonder, one thing makes hold my step: will everyone stop justifying my life, as they ever do, if, i turn into a relationship?
i just don't kno.
it's late night...again..
it's fast that time passed...jiayu jiaxi got back last week..v met on thursday on k3k cafe..then jennyu got back from aussie on 23/11....erm..ya..then on 24/11 jx n jennyu's family plus me n jiayu had dinner together, just like wat v did last time few day after jennyu left for aussie...this time, as opposed to last time v went to jx hse for his kuih lapis, v went to jennyu hse..nothing..just chit chat..wif jennyu n jx family... till late night.
thusday till saturday this week..i will b home alone....whole family went to langkawi, since friday is public holiday...i wanted to join them initially..but finally i did not cz dun wan to skip thursday evidence n tort class...haiz...i should hv followed them..
today the first day, but it is still ok. i went to office on the morning, then rush foor classes till 7.45pm reach home. then out for dinner. tot of jx had cancelled the movie cz he did not call me to confirm, but when i just went for dinner he called saying the movie plan is still on. so after they went to mv to try to make any ticket, then plan to move to pavillion or times square n i rush home after dinner n shower then check online for the seat....they decided not to go. then i change my cloth back to normal.then they call me to go out n ask me to change back to outing dress cz they most probably going for club....who knows, finally v went to ajimal cz jiayu cant go home late today...so, jennyu, jiayu, jiaxi n kitwan plus me, went to ajimal...it seems like i purposely change my outfit just for ajimal =.= haha..funny..then since i online just now..i resume it after i reach home till now...
tml they are going for clubbing as well..yes, i wana go though, but mab not with them, i mean the freinds that go together with them....simply becz i really can't mix up with them esp go to club...mayb it's my poor socialize skill...gotta fix it..
ya, i called seok fang jz now. v chat for a while n probably friday will out with her a while using the excuse that i lend my pc for her to online to check her result ^.^...then she ask me about the work for concert...erm..since i got nothing to do on saturday...just go with her...accompany her ba...doesnt matter jiayu jx kitwan going or not...
originally khailang will come to my hse to accompany me tonite n probably overnite..but due to i out with 3+3, erm, just ask him wake me up tml morning n come to my hse...n probably overnite here tml ba after his work^^
ya, that is all my plan on this 3 home alone day...even no all that, planning to study at the first place, but my mum just bought few hot TVB drama n a singapore comedy...haha..i can watch those for this three day as well if i will not be going out on the coming three days...haha
so...honestly...it has been an exhausting day to me...sleepy...but no mood to sleep......probabaly haven't watch the German show. n, to b very frank....just duno y..i m very down...since after i went out with them...erm...mayb it's midnite now n i will start acting emotional...worse when i m listening to music...
down...because i m missing H? probably..i m not sure....
just feel so lonely every mid nite....
i kno it's time for me to get one. but it's all out of my hand. i did want to. but all the surronding circumstnces doesnt seems allow me to do so...
i text H asking about the SPM at the moment i went for dinner. no reply, that's wat i expected.
but anyway, to be true, i miss H. really. besides those Germany n US artist.
if one day i got to Germany or USA with H together, i think it's the best thing ever happen in my life. meeting those artist? gosh!it's just perfect my perfect life.
i m addicted to German n US artist right away ever since i saw them, esp German.and, i m obssessed with H. why? even myself can't believe it!
everyone that really wana kno , listen. it's not my control that i remain single now. just everything doesnt goes right for me as they go.
and H, if u wana kno, i m so obssessed with u right now. i love you. i kno u dunwan to. but i din mean to as well. u hv stolen my heart. missing someone that u did not mean any single thing to the person, it's hurt, it's killing me.
just one thing i doubt, one thing i consider, one thing makes me hesitate, one thing makes me wonder, one thing makes hold my step: will everyone stop justifying my life, as they ever do, if, i turn into a relationship?
i just don't kno.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
18/11
19/11/2009 11:26am
it's not 18/11 though..but it is a day, for SPM student to start their life-turning exam...
this few days really a weird days..i met with so called 'scratch n win' trick on last friday( when i got down from the bus), then met with a a little bit of 'mental disordered' person( when i was waiting for the bus)...
sei yi got back here on last saturday. n today, thursday gotta fetch my kelantan cousin here with her friend for them to hv a nite here=.= i think tonite i m gonna sleep on couch...
monday, finally read the post on ng joe-e blog that talking bad about me=.= she still the same...
anyway, those not the main point...yesterday, H started SPM...i text H around 2.30pm, initally i forgot about waiting the reply..when get on the bus...start thinking about it while nothing to do...
yes, i still did not get H reply on that moment. i tell myself, probably they still having exam cz apparently 18/11 got their BM, BI and Sejarah..but till the bus passed by smkss at around 4.30pm, i saw student walking out from the skol, i knew they just finished the exam..so, i m not so disspointed yet, at least.
when i reach my home, i put my cell phone aside. till 7.50pm when i start going for the tuition center. i saw 2 sms. i was happy at that time, thinking at least could be from H. u fortunately, none.there all all from the skol..
within what my expectation...till today, i got no reply from H.
i accept it n i know what my position are. i m not in the position that wanting a ppl to be with me so badly . i m not that desperate. so, move on without H!
but truth be told, i miss H.......i m lying to myself..
i thought everything is over... that stupid freaking crushing feeling that killing has gone. i thought i m over it....it doesnt matter to those US and German artist, or to H....this feeling start haunting me again....
it's a nightmare...
pray hard for me to get over these. n pray hard for H for the SPM...
it's not 18/11 though..but it is a day, for SPM student to start their life-turning exam...
this few days really a weird days..i met with so called 'scratch n win' trick on last friday( when i got down from the bus), then met with a a little bit of 'mental disordered' person( when i was waiting for the bus)...
sei yi got back here on last saturday. n today, thursday gotta fetch my kelantan cousin here with her friend for them to hv a nite here=.= i think tonite i m gonna sleep on couch...
monday, finally read the post on ng joe-e blog that talking bad about me=.= she still the same...
anyway, those not the main point...yesterday, H started SPM...i text H around 2.30pm, initally i forgot about waiting the reply..when get on the bus...start thinking about it while nothing to do...
yes, i still did not get H reply on that moment. i tell myself, probably they still having exam cz apparently 18/11 got their BM, BI and Sejarah..but till the bus passed by smkss at around 4.30pm, i saw student walking out from the skol, i knew they just finished the exam..so, i m not so disspointed yet, at least.
when i reach my home, i put my cell phone aside. till 7.50pm when i start going for the tuition center. i saw 2 sms. i was happy at that time, thinking at least could be from H. u fortunately, none.there all all from the skol..
within what my expectation...till today, i got no reply from H.
i accept it n i know what my position are. i m not in the position that wanting a ppl to be with me so badly . i m not that desperate. so, move on without H!
but truth be told, i miss H.......i m lying to myself..
i thought everything is over... that stupid freaking crushing feeling that killing has gone. i thought i m over it....it doesnt matter to those US and German artist, or to H....this feeling start haunting me again....
it's a nightmare...
pray hard for me to get over these. n pray hard for H for the SPM...
Monday, November 9, 2009
sunday-monday
9/11/09 12:49am
stirctly speaking, now is monday morning....haha. but i havnt sleep yet..it's still consider sunday t me^^
jx forwarded the person'sms to me at 9.19pm just now.it was saying the person made another report that in future 3 months jx is going to b responsible if anything happen to his car. man! wats tat? its soooooo absurd huh... i was driving that time on the way to dinner. so, i was only able to study the sms througoutly after i got back home from dinner around 10.30pm i think. it so happen that his mum called me.asking me whetehr should she call to the respective police station and ask. then i webcam wif jx. in the middle his mum phoned. i watched that all the way cz v both din switch off the camerz=.= then i got her mum call. haha..she told me she ady asked the police in sarawak n that's a short conclusion that no such report was made to the police. it's fake from the car rental. stupid act...anyway, i told her mayb try to call again n double confirm couple days later..u kno..malaysia's effectiveness is so 'high'...so then after hang up with his um. skype with jx...i think probably everything settle..erm..it showed tat how a mum cares about her children...she worriied that this 'threathening act' will affect jx perforamnce on his exam on wed...anyway...hopefully all can be settled now...haha..though i din help much in this..but i got many lesson from it too...by the way, helping a fren is always wat i will do even it takes me a lot. i duno y..moreover it's 3+3....
so...erm...i din exactly miss H whole day today(sunday)..but those crush on US and Germany actor is just so...can't explain thru words....esp germany...gosh...it's like taking away my life..haha...it's late nite now...Germany probably 6pm++. gosh....i think i can see a lot of update from fb abt them..shit...tell myself not to check but i will just do it....haiz...think of christmas, wood, forest,gosh....really fallen for those German artistT.T
any how, gotta hv a sleep now. monday is here. a brand new week going to start. though nothing much i can expect..but..life'd has to goes on.....
i kno really unsure whether can H cure my crush towards them..i think H can..but problem is..how to get H to cure at the first place...still missing them....Germany..USA...Germany!!!!!
it's has been a loooooooooooooooong day for me...
hopefully everyhting turns well after today...
stirctly speaking, now is monday morning....haha. but i havnt sleep yet..it's still consider sunday t me^^
jx forwarded the person'sms to me at 9.19pm just now.it was saying the person made another report that in future 3 months jx is going to b responsible if anything happen to his car. man! wats tat? its soooooo absurd huh... i was driving that time on the way to dinner. so, i was only able to study the sms througoutly after i got back home from dinner around 10.30pm i think. it so happen that his mum called me.asking me whetehr should she call to the respective police station and ask. then i webcam wif jx. in the middle his mum phoned. i watched that all the way cz v both din switch off the camerz=.= then i got her mum call. haha..she told me she ady asked the police in sarawak n that's a short conclusion that no such report was made to the police. it's fake from the car rental. stupid act...anyway, i told her mayb try to call again n double confirm couple days later..u kno..malaysia's effectiveness is so 'high'...so then after hang up with his um. skype with jx...i think probably everything settle..erm..it showed tat how a mum cares about her children...she worriied that this 'threathening act' will affect jx perforamnce on his exam on wed...anyway...hopefully all can be settled now...haha..though i din help much in this..but i got many lesson from it too...by the way, helping a fren is always wat i will do even it takes me a lot. i duno y..moreover it's 3+3....
so...erm...i din exactly miss H whole day today(sunday)..but those crush on US and Germany actor is just so...can't explain thru words....esp germany...gosh...it's like taking away my life..haha...it's late nite now...Germany probably 6pm++. gosh....i think i can see a lot of update from fb abt them..shit...tell myself not to check but i will just do it....haiz...think of christmas, wood, forest,gosh....really fallen for those German artistT.T
any how, gotta hv a sleep now. monday is here. a brand new week going to start. though nothing much i can expect..but..life'd has to goes on.....
i kno really unsure whether can H cure my crush towards them..i think H can..but problem is..how to get H to cure at the first place...still missing them....Germany..USA...Germany!!!!!
it's has been a loooooooooooooooong day for me...
hopefully everyhting turns well after today...
Sunday, November 8, 2009
down
8/11/09 7:35pm
a few post in one day..=.=
ya..jx called gain n told that he 'lost' in the case infront of police..conclusion..he and his fren will pay for the re-paint of the car which the part was scrathed but not whole bumper...so RM90 divided by 4 i think..but anyway, i still think that there is a chance to argue 50-50 since no one kno who fault is tat. even go to ct, i think the car rantal bare the burden of proof as claimant and i think he cant prove it.anyway, what is over , its over. let it be. take it as a lesson. cheer up man! good luck in ur exam on wednesday!
haiz...i really couldn't fight against that feeling....now that stupic crushing feeling seems more serious and bothering me even more...i wacthed that German show just now and that's the episode showing the church and i remembered i saw some of the 'behind the scene' when they shot in the church on a particular website yesterday. today i tried to look for it again..but nothing's there.weird.mayb look for it again later..but shit..if i do tat, probably the stupid crushing feeling will get worse....
gosh..saw all those picture! they' re damn freaking hecking attractive man.....really hooked by the show..but what a silly move or thing that having crush on artist.......STUPID!
i found out country like USA and Germany, those actor used to take up acting course before becoming an actor. unlike malaysia, this course have never been encouraged by parents. although Germany n other countries eg in Europe their actor wont get such exposure to the world like USA, but they can be pretty popular too due to the convenience of internet nowadays ie the german show i m watching now. the actor can travel around the world and well known just thru the spread of youtube. hmm...having a thought now...mayb when i really hv chance to be in US or Germany...mayb try to take up acting course as well and try to go for casting?(classic way as many actors did that too)then if i able to make it then the dream of meeting those actor i like sooooooo much recently esp the German one will come true!!!hahaha..i think even in UK, if i really able to make it, i can meet up with them too i think due to v r in the same industry..haha...haiz...but these is all dreams............
getting really down....because missing those actors...not sure if i be with H i will turns better..but for now...man!i seriously couldnt take it anymore....ARGHHHHHHHHHH....although keep on mention this is a silly act and i believe they look so good in front camera( show or photo) only because of make up and those editorial work...(cz i saw few picture that probably not as nice as they in the show and i saw the artist used to be a little bit fat last time in the show was not as attractive as now0..so i really srtrongly believe make up and editorial staff did a great job to make them look sooooooo good and attractive in front of camera.....but i just cant control to hook uwith them...even spending all day in front pc and watching their show, after switch off pc and everything goes normal, i will be so down as what i m being now..but i will still play their show and found out their interview, news etc on internet...
shit!!!!!this is really STUPID! 2 things i can do:1) REALLY try to get to USA or Germany or other Europe country-Germany is the best and try to get into casting and better still get into the particular show i m watching now(since i saw one of the interview the actor told that their show will constantly looking for actor thru newspaper or fan(fanpage i think), but it's in Germany...anyway, i will try to find out some way! so, i can meet them!!! or 2) forget them all. pray for the day to dissappearance of this stupid feeling.
it seems 2nd choice is more realistic yet hard to me...but now...once i think of christmas snowing and their face....ARGH!!!really hooked up with them..T.T
Gosh!i dunwan!STOP IT!it's hurt nad killing meT.T T.T T.T
a few post in one day..=.=
ya..jx called gain n told that he 'lost' in the case infront of police..conclusion..he and his fren will pay for the re-paint of the car which the part was scrathed but not whole bumper...so RM90 divided by 4 i think..but anyway, i still think that there is a chance to argue 50-50 since no one kno who fault is tat. even go to ct, i think the car rantal bare the burden of proof as claimant and i think he cant prove it.anyway, what is over , its over. let it be. take it as a lesson. cheer up man! good luck in ur exam on wednesday!
haiz...i really couldn't fight against that feeling....now that stupic crushing feeling seems more serious and bothering me even more...i wacthed that German show just now and that's the episode showing the church and i remembered i saw some of the 'behind the scene' when they shot in the church on a particular website yesterday. today i tried to look for it again..but nothing's there.weird.mayb look for it again later..but shit..if i do tat, probably the stupid crushing feeling will get worse....
gosh..saw all those picture! they' re damn freaking hecking attractive man.....really hooked by the show..but what a silly move or thing that having crush on artist.......STUPID!
i found out country like USA and Germany, those actor used to take up acting course before becoming an actor. unlike malaysia, this course have never been encouraged by parents. although Germany n other countries eg in Europe their actor wont get such exposure to the world like USA, but they can be pretty popular too due to the convenience of internet nowadays ie the german show i m watching now. the actor can travel around the world and well known just thru the spread of youtube. hmm...having a thought now...mayb when i really hv chance to be in US or Germany...mayb try to take up acting course as well and try to go for casting?(classic way as many actors did that too)then if i able to make it then the dream of meeting those actor i like sooooooo much recently esp the German one will come true!!!hahaha..i think even in UK, if i really able to make it, i can meet up with them too i think due to v r in the same industry..haha...haiz...but these is all dreams............
getting really down....because missing those actors...not sure if i be with H i will turns better..but for now...man!i seriously couldnt take it anymore....ARGHHHHHHHHHH....although keep on mention this is a silly act and i believe they look so good in front camera( show or photo) only because of make up and those editorial work...(cz i saw few picture that probably not as nice as they in the show and i saw the artist used to be a little bit fat last time in the show was not as attractive as now0..so i really srtrongly believe make up and editorial staff did a great job to make them look sooooooo good and attractive in front of camera.....but i just cant control to hook uwith them...even spending all day in front pc and watching their show, after switch off pc and everything goes normal, i will be so down as what i m being now..but i will still play their show and found out their interview, news etc on internet...
shit!!!!!this is really STUPID! 2 things i can do:1) REALLY try to get to USA or Germany or other Europe country-Germany is the best and try to get into casting and better still get into the particular show i m watching now(since i saw one of the interview the actor told that their show will constantly looking for actor thru newspaper or fan(fanpage i think), but it's in Germany...anyway, i will try to find out some way! so, i can meet them!!! or 2) forget them all. pray for the day to dissappearance of this stupid feeling.
it seems 2nd choice is more realistic yet hard to me...but now...once i think of christmas snowing and their face....ARGH!!!really hooked up with them..T.T
Gosh!i dunwan!STOP IT!it's hurt nad killing meT.T T.T T.T
sunday afternoon
8/11/09 3:39pm
a lonely sunday afternoon...
mayb yesterday nite was told tat H's 'H' will b with H this whole day...so besides H, can't think of some one i feel like meeting now....so, rather be at home and doing nothing here.
today morning 10.47am was woke up by jx's mum call regarding jx case yesterday...she called twice..hahaa...she told me she worried if jx can speak well in front of police..well, i think tats not a worry for me..he can cope that very well...in the afternoon, jx called n told me the car rental really as what predicted wana him to compensate whole bumper...gosh..it's crazy...so around 2.30pm ++, jx called me telling me he is in the police station n making report...waiting the other party to come...accordingly, the police took the stand that supporting jx..well..if tat's the case..it will b great....i think he will call me soon tell me wat's up or even i will do that if he dont call...anyway..wishing him gud luck...
now...loading the German show on youtube...i know i will miss those artists very much again after watching tat..even now the crushing feeling hasnt gone off yet...anyway....until and unless i was accompanied by H, i will stop watching it or at least stop missing them...gosh..it's killing me and i m suffering cz of that..i can't take it anymore! i dun wan all these...but, holy shit! it's all out of my hand!!!
i kno there is a saying:"love is the force of nature." yes...totally agree...but i just do not have the courage at all to tell H about it...not after what i got after i hinted so many things on msn yesterday......and i juz kno...like what i said..our relationship just won't work..or even can't have a start.......
and, probably love is really blind...i just cant figure it out y i can fallen for H...so deadly...
H,
you know what.?! i miss you soooooooooooo much more than eveything i ever do...
just like what i m missing those USA and Germany artist,esp Germany...but i believe this 'crush on somebody i dun even stand a chance to meet them' will gone off., totally, if i m with you...but i kno being with u just another impossible for me...
here is a fact....you may wanna deny it soooo badly...or even evryone feel like doing so....but not me..i just can't....
i love you.this is the fact.
a lonely sunday afternoon...
mayb yesterday nite was told tat H's 'H' will b with H this whole day...so besides H, can't think of some one i feel like meeting now....so, rather be at home and doing nothing here.
today morning 10.47am was woke up by jx's mum call regarding jx case yesterday...she called twice..hahaa...she told me she worried if jx can speak well in front of police..well, i think tats not a worry for me..he can cope that very well...in the afternoon, jx called n told me the car rental really as what predicted wana him to compensate whole bumper...gosh..it's crazy...so around 2.30pm ++, jx called me telling me he is in the police station n making report...waiting the other party to come...accordingly, the police took the stand that supporting jx..well..if tat's the case..it will b great....i think he will call me soon tell me wat's up or even i will do that if he dont call...anyway..wishing him gud luck...
now...loading the German show on youtube...i know i will miss those artists very much again after watching tat..even now the crushing feeling hasnt gone off yet...anyway....until and unless i was accompanied by H, i will stop watching it or at least stop missing them...gosh..it's killing me and i m suffering cz of that..i can't take it anymore! i dun wan all these...but, holy shit! it's all out of my hand!!!
i kno there is a saying:"love is the force of nature." yes...totally agree...but i just do not have the courage at all to tell H about it...not after what i got after i hinted so many things on msn yesterday......and i juz kno...like what i said..our relationship just won't work..or even can't have a start.......
and, probably love is really blind...i just cant figure it out y i can fallen for H...so deadly...
H,
you know what.?! i miss you soooooooooooo much more than eveything i ever do...
just like what i m missing those USA and Germany artist,esp Germany...but i believe this 'crush on somebody i dun even stand a chance to meet them' will gone off., totally, if i m with you...but i kno being with u just another impossible for me...
here is a fact....you may wanna deny it soooo badly...or even evryone feel like doing so....but not me..i just can't....
i love you.this is the fact.
midnite again
8/11/09 2:19am
again..this is midnite...
anyway, not a great nite for me...today..a harsh day...
just hang up jx's call. yes...just at the moment i decided to have a nap(probably it's sleep cz it's ady 12.20am) while waiting my pc to download those song...jx called. ya...he called saying he's facing problem/confusion/dillema....cz he rented a car but innocently told by the car rental that he cause a scare on the car which is vry vry, even not obvious at al...either way...i gotta help him with my limited knowledge..he called mayb due to i m a law student, or probably i met a car accident last time n i had similar experience...anyway, most imoportant...as a friend...especially 3+3..have to try my best to help him out.on the phone with him about 35minutes, then i asked wai hong(my classmate) for help. he's kind, although i m asking help from him, but he is the one who call me..so pai seh..then he asked some fren's that being together with him at that moment for some opinion as well. then, i called back jx n on phone about 19minutes i think...anyway, hopefully i did help out at least a little bit....jx felt sorry for calling me in the middle of night and interrupt my sleep, and wai hong felt sorry for giving me useless answer(tat's what he thought)..anyway, nope..waihong did help a lot..i owe him this time..but he is the one who said if i owe him this time then he owed me many times before this...i dun think so..anyway, frenz...gald to have him to be one of my college frenz....for jx..man! dun feel so awkward for doing this....i will only be angry if u dun call me this time because of this! gotta sleep later..probably not cz of that case, i m already in sweet dream..but it's ok, i m fine with it...weird?that's y my mum always scolded me cz she think i m tooooooo kind and generous to friend even compared to family...anyway, this is who i m and i had no explaination abt that..frenz..especially important fren...for jx even 3+3..i will always take it as my close family member...frens are to appreciated when u r having them...^^
second thing, i msn wif H...told H probably go to H house tomolo...was told H's 'H' was there..i think since yesterday...n the 'H' will only left on monday morning when 'H' father fetch 'H' to school...ya...its already normal being for them to spend nites together....n i think 'H's already so close with H's family..msn wif H, hint something to H and finally got to know even sure that our relationship are not going to work....not even have a chance to have a relationship...the 'happy' feeling that last for approximately one week since that day i bring H to astro gotta stop here...i hv to pull myslef out of this..sweet dream to me though...it's still only a dream...
tml...i think can't meet H since the 'H' is over there..
last but not least....oh man!i can't take it anymore..the 'crushing' feeling on thse USA and Germany actors are really killing me...esp Germany...this feeling had faded away and is fading eventuallyand i tot i m going to over it but shit! unfortunately today all these came out again....really have totally no clue what to do with these....having a crush on somebody(more than one, n what funny is, they're artists=.=) that i din even stand a chance to meet them is just soooooooo getting me out of my mind....gotta be some way for me to out with it....plz..God..help me out...i dont ever want to get into all these again! dun get me involve, deeper for now...plz..i beg...sincerely...what can i do................
a day that three significance thing happen to me back to back....gotta take a deep breath....lew cho kang! move on! no more H! no more artist no matter USA or Germany!!!it's silly to have those stupid feeling bothering u!!! it's over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hope one day i can scream all these out loud...at least this is what i tot for now....
again..this is midnite...
anyway, not a great nite for me...today..a harsh day...
just hang up jx's call. yes...just at the moment i decided to have a nap(probably it's sleep cz it's ady 12.20am) while waiting my pc to download those song...jx called. ya...he called saying he's facing problem/confusion/dillema....cz he rented a car but innocently told by the car rental that he cause a scare on the car which is vry vry, even not obvious at al...either way...i gotta help him with my limited knowledge..he called mayb due to i m a law student, or probably i met a car accident last time n i had similar experience...anyway, most imoportant...as a friend...especially 3+3..have to try my best to help him out.on the phone with him about 35minutes, then i asked wai hong(my classmate) for help. he's kind, although i m asking help from him, but he is the one who call me..so pai seh..then he asked some fren's that being together with him at that moment for some opinion as well. then, i called back jx n on phone about 19minutes i think...anyway, hopefully i did help out at least a little bit....jx felt sorry for calling me in the middle of night and interrupt my sleep, and wai hong felt sorry for giving me useless answer(tat's what he thought)..anyway, nope..waihong did help a lot..i owe him this time..but he is the one who said if i owe him this time then he owed me many times before this...i dun think so..anyway, frenz...gald to have him to be one of my college frenz....for jx..man! dun feel so awkward for doing this....i will only be angry if u dun call me this time because of this! gotta sleep later..probably not cz of that case, i m already in sweet dream..but it's ok, i m fine with it...weird?that's y my mum always scolded me cz she think i m tooooooo kind and generous to friend even compared to family...anyway, this is who i m and i had no explaination abt that..frenz..especially important fren...for jx even 3+3..i will always take it as my close family member...frens are to appreciated when u r having them...^^
second thing, i msn wif H...told H probably go to H house tomolo...was told H's 'H' was there..i think since yesterday...n the 'H' will only left on monday morning when 'H' father fetch 'H' to school...ya...its already normal being for them to spend nites together....n i think 'H's already so close with H's family..msn wif H, hint something to H and finally got to know even sure that our relationship are not going to work....not even have a chance to have a relationship...the 'happy' feeling that last for approximately one week since that day i bring H to astro gotta stop here...i hv to pull myslef out of this..sweet dream to me though...it's still only a dream...
tml...i think can't meet H since the 'H' is over there..
last but not least....oh man!i can't take it anymore..the 'crushing' feeling on thse USA and Germany actors are really killing me...esp Germany...this feeling had faded away and is fading eventuallyand i tot i m going to over it but shit! unfortunately today all these came out again....really have totally no clue what to do with these....having a crush on somebody(more than one, n what funny is, they're artists=.=) that i din even stand a chance to meet them is just soooooooo getting me out of my mind....gotta be some way for me to out with it....plz..God..help me out...i dont ever want to get into all these again! dun get me involve, deeper for now...plz..i beg...sincerely...what can i do................
a day that three significance thing happen to me back to back....gotta take a deep breath....lew cho kang! move on! no more H! no more artist no matter USA or Germany!!!it's silly to have those stupid feeling bothering u!!! it's over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hope one day i can scream all these out loud...at least this is what i tot for now....
Monday, November 2, 2009
a day
2/11/09 3.09am
it's really midnite...din update this blog since for a while
31/10/09-it's a date that i wouldn't be much satisfy in my life, at least this is what i thought for this moment...finally, i went out with H! and..it's a AAR concert day!!!
on 30/10.friday. i received a miss call from H at 2.01pm. i din realise it until at about 4pm. what should i feel at that time? happy?nervous? excited? H called me man!!!!after a while, i start doubting..it's just a miss call..nothing special.it's probably H pressed the wrong number..anyway, I sms H at around 6pm and ask if something important. well, no reply. maybe in sleep. 6.25pm++, i m driving home from work.Adam c from hitz.fm saying that AAR is in the studio with him and this is the last chance to win the ticket from hitz.fm to get to their concert on 31/10. i called. just trying. ya,i have been thinking to go to the concert all the time(i called on29/10 as well but it's not the right time, natalie ask me to say' i want the ticket' for her favour.), thought i hv no chance to see them in one U, god knos it changed the venue and time due to tyson's knee infection. it gives a new hope. anyway, the only thing i wanted to go just cz H introduced AAR to me. and just hoping by winning the ticket, i had at least an excuse to talk to H.everytime i listen to their song, i will think of H. by the way, i called on 31/10 when i heard it's a last chance. just trying, din expect anything. but in my heart, i was still happy that H called me today( although it's just a miss call and it's probably a mistake as well.),i told God, if i got to win the ticket at this last moment, that's mean i got a chance with H to get into relationship, but i know it's possible, cz the winning chance is sooo small, just like the posibilty with me and H.gosh!who knos, adam picked up the phone!man!then, tyson and his gang spoke to me and asked me to do something crazy to win the ticket!my god!!!unbelieveable...first, cant believe that i got to speak to AAR, second, does it mean i got a chance with H since i won the ticket in this tiny posibility? anyway, AAR asked me look for a toilet, climb up to the car, scream:"I am a golden God' again and again with different speed...ya, i won the ticket to the concert and the 'meet and greet' passes. and adam called to my hp for the detail and ask me to collect the tickets at astro on 31/10 between 10am-12pm. sadly, i din manage to record it down as a memory or a proof since i havnt figure out how my HP's voice recorder suppose to function. how sad is that...T.T
i sms H again, said that if free gv me a call and i hv something important...no reply..i got on MSN and i saw H. i msn with H, yes, start with saying' ask u to call but din call'..what so coincident is, H listening to AAR's song at the moment i saw H on MSN...after a long chat..we stopped. did not get a chance to talk about the concert yet...H said nid to shower. (H told me the next day straight away offline cz went to watch CD before shower, it's takes a long time ady=.=) then i tried to sms H asking about concert...too bad, H cant make it cz gotta get to aunty's open hse and do not dare not going cz H's brother get their anut really pissed off when he when to AAR concert but already promise the aunt at the first place.) my hope gone...
then i have to get somebody to go with me. it's hard because i tot local u student was not free or not in KL while they are not and they are the one who have huge interest on AAR! and shit! i have class on 31/10 morning...
and 1 thing funny is, i tot the meet and greet is happening on 11.30 AM.thus i din ask my fren to collect for me. and i called astro early on 31/10 morning and no one know about the thing=.=..finally, i discovered it's actually 11.30PM..before the 'huge discovery', i decided to pick up the ticket and skip my class after a long consideration while actually i can attend my class and ask my friend to collect it. but all theese it's too late due to the late discovery.
anyway, hv to thanks the late discovery as well. i called H on that morning to ask to go astro together with me since h never been there before. but i din expect that H will follow, i called H as a last resort.(i know H will only go aunty house at noon, H told me, so still available in the morning, called for trying) who knos again...H said yes..(probably i promised that can get home by 12.30pm)..but, we went in astro..but tot many people in q( actually they came for my fm recruitment) so we send our sister to work and finally get back to astro...then, H did not said no when i said go n had my breakfast together( H had a little bit-consider a breakfast already) H said din bring much money and ask me to buy H, sure man! for H..everything i can spend without thinking..i brought H to my house a while, gotta change my shirt...my mum saw H..haha..the same expression..when i ask H if H wana get doen from the car...H said:'dunwan, after ur mum scold me again...'of course did not mean that, just said it in funny way..ya...v had breakfast together at mamak after many times 'drive and round' the same area again and again. ya..v chat a lot...n..funniest thing...i let H to drive the car..inside astro area, finish breakfast n drive to somewhere to buy food for my cousin..it's a long journey, at least for H,a person without licence but father taught about driving auto car. we been thru some difficult narrow road and so on..haha...even H's father did not allow H to drive that far...wow...i took a lot of risk..i think H is the first friend that I allow to drive my car...unbelieveable....i cant believe i allow somebody to drive my car..i mean somebody that not having blood realtionship with me(cz if my relative drive and run into accident, i wont be the one who get blamed; if my fren, i will die deadly..) with H..it's just sooo many thing that i can do that usually its imposible for me.
5.30pm 31/10 i hv to get to bukit jalil according to hitz cruises thru the phone. so, i went to the concert with my cousin finally..after a long waiting...wow...AAR performance are so amazing when live...its really different betwwn listening thru radio and live...it's crazy....it was so overwhelming to me..especially when they play 'move along'...if H was there together with me, i think i will probably cry..well, happy tears...oso, 'it ends tonight'....and when the crowd sing together with them in 'it ends tonight' and 'give u hell',esp 'it ends tonight'..wow..it was awesome...cant just describe it thru words...they started with 'move along' and ended with 'give u hell'...yes, cant deny...my mind is all about H besides AAR...thats why i called H before it really start..but it seems that H dun really wana talk with me at that time, H is the one who started to said' okla' after asking me izit syiok over there..whole conversation within 40 mins..haiz...
anyhow, get to meet AAR soooo close after the concert...mayb many ppl won 'meet and greet' as well..so they hv to be fast...i only got to see mike, a little bit of tyson, but not chris and nick cz i couldnt even take my camera out and shake my hand or talk with them..the crews ask us to take photo and that's it..haiz...so, get to meet the real perosn of AAR soooooooooooo close, just in front of you, but cant hv the chance to talk, shake hand or film the whole process....(probably i m standing as second last and since the radio winner only 8 attended, and they want to get all settle sooo fast, i din hv all those chances, but the person in front of me did, at least shake hand and speak to mike..)if i could, i will ask tyson or anyone of them if they still remember that i m the one who called yesterday and they ask me to climb up to the car....haha...
anyway..till today..i m still all H in my mind and so happy all the time..i really duno the reason of being so happy....probably i din see H for long time n din expect to get out with H yesterday...probably for H is nothing..but for me...i duno...its just happy, not for nothing, for reason, n i think the reason is so obvious..
recently found out, i will still miss and in love with the US and German actor sooooooooo much esp German, but it maybe, and high posibility, it will be fading away when if i get along with H...
it's silly me...cz i clearly kno..h ady in relationship and....ya, v r impossible..i jz kno...
i just met H half day, but dunno how many days i can be happy for it...how incredible is the power of love?
between AAR and H, who will i choose? sure H......cz i kno and like them only because of H....
31/10..i will call it a day...a real day for all these moment that i hv been so down for everyday...
it's really midnite...din update this blog since for a while
31/10/09-it's a date that i wouldn't be much satisfy in my life, at least this is what i thought for this moment...finally, i went out with H! and..it's a AAR concert day!!!
on 30/10.friday. i received a miss call from H at 2.01pm. i din realise it until at about 4pm. what should i feel at that time? happy?nervous? excited? H called me man!!!!after a while, i start doubting..it's just a miss call..nothing special.it's probably H pressed the wrong number..anyway, I sms H at around 6pm and ask if something important. well, no reply. maybe in sleep. 6.25pm++, i m driving home from work.Adam c from hitz.fm saying that AAR is in the studio with him and this is the last chance to win the ticket from hitz.fm to get to their concert on 31/10. i called. just trying. ya,i have been thinking to go to the concert all the time(i called on29/10 as well but it's not the right time, natalie ask me to say' i want the ticket' for her favour.), thought i hv no chance to see them in one U, god knos it changed the venue and time due to tyson's knee infection. it gives a new hope. anyway, the only thing i wanted to go just cz H introduced AAR to me. and just hoping by winning the ticket, i had at least an excuse to talk to H.everytime i listen to their song, i will think of H. by the way, i called on 31/10 when i heard it's a last chance. just trying, din expect anything. but in my heart, i was still happy that H called me today( although it's just a miss call and it's probably a mistake as well.),i told God, if i got to win the ticket at this last moment, that's mean i got a chance with H to get into relationship, but i know it's possible, cz the winning chance is sooo small, just like the posibilty with me and H.gosh!who knos, adam picked up the phone!man!then, tyson and his gang spoke to me and asked me to do something crazy to win the ticket!my god!!!unbelieveable...first, cant believe that i got to speak to AAR, second, does it mean i got a chance with H since i won the ticket in this tiny posibility? anyway, AAR asked me look for a toilet, climb up to the car, scream:"I am a golden God' again and again with different speed...ya, i won the ticket to the concert and the 'meet and greet' passes. and adam called to my hp for the detail and ask me to collect the tickets at astro on 31/10 between 10am-12pm. sadly, i din manage to record it down as a memory or a proof since i havnt figure out how my HP's voice recorder suppose to function. how sad is that...T.T
i sms H again, said that if free gv me a call and i hv something important...no reply..i got on MSN and i saw H. i msn with H, yes, start with saying' ask u to call but din call'..what so coincident is, H listening to AAR's song at the moment i saw H on MSN...after a long chat..we stopped. did not get a chance to talk about the concert yet...H said nid to shower. (H told me the next day straight away offline cz went to watch CD before shower, it's takes a long time ady=.=) then i tried to sms H asking about concert...too bad, H cant make it cz gotta get to aunty's open hse and do not dare not going cz H's brother get their anut really pissed off when he when to AAR concert but already promise the aunt at the first place.) my hope gone...
then i have to get somebody to go with me. it's hard because i tot local u student was not free or not in KL while they are not and they are the one who have huge interest on AAR! and shit! i have class on 31/10 morning...
and 1 thing funny is, i tot the meet and greet is happening on 11.30 AM.thus i din ask my fren to collect for me. and i called astro early on 31/10 morning and no one know about the thing=.=..finally, i discovered it's actually 11.30PM..before the 'huge discovery', i decided to pick up the ticket and skip my class after a long consideration while actually i can attend my class and ask my friend to collect it. but all theese it's too late due to the late discovery.
anyway, hv to thanks the late discovery as well. i called H on that morning to ask to go astro together with me since h never been there before. but i din expect that H will follow, i called H as a last resort.(i know H will only go aunty house at noon, H told me, so still available in the morning, called for trying) who knos again...H said yes..(probably i promised that can get home by 12.30pm)..but, we went in astro..but tot many people in q( actually they came for my fm recruitment) so we send our sister to work and finally get back to astro...then, H did not said no when i said go n had my breakfast together( H had a little bit-consider a breakfast already) H said din bring much money and ask me to buy H, sure man! for H..everything i can spend without thinking..i brought H to my house a while, gotta change my shirt...my mum saw H..haha..the same expression..when i ask H if H wana get doen from the car...H said:'dunwan, after ur mum scold me again...'of course did not mean that, just said it in funny way..ya...v had breakfast together at mamak after many times 'drive and round' the same area again and again. ya..v chat a lot...n..funniest thing...i let H to drive the car..inside astro area, finish breakfast n drive to somewhere to buy food for my cousin..it's a long journey, at least for H,a person without licence but father taught about driving auto car. we been thru some difficult narrow road and so on..haha...even H's father did not allow H to drive that far...wow...i took a lot of risk..i think H is the first friend that I allow to drive my car...unbelieveable....i cant believe i allow somebody to drive my car..i mean somebody that not having blood realtionship with me(cz if my relative drive and run into accident, i wont be the one who get blamed; if my fren, i will die deadly..) with H..it's just sooo many thing that i can do that usually its imposible for me.
5.30pm 31/10 i hv to get to bukit jalil according to hitz cruises thru the phone. so, i went to the concert with my cousin finally..after a long waiting...wow...AAR performance are so amazing when live...its really different betwwn listening thru radio and live...it's crazy....it was so overwhelming to me..especially when they play 'move along'...if H was there together with me, i think i will probably cry..well, happy tears...oso, 'it ends tonight'....and when the crowd sing together with them in 'it ends tonight' and 'give u hell',esp 'it ends tonight'..wow..it was awesome...cant just describe it thru words...they started with 'move along' and ended with 'give u hell'...yes, cant deny...my mind is all about H besides AAR...thats why i called H before it really start..but it seems that H dun really wana talk with me at that time, H is the one who started to said' okla' after asking me izit syiok over there..whole conversation within 40 mins..haiz...
anyhow, get to meet AAR soooo close after the concert...mayb many ppl won 'meet and greet' as well..so they hv to be fast...i only got to see mike, a little bit of tyson, but not chris and nick cz i couldnt even take my camera out and shake my hand or talk with them..the crews ask us to take photo and that's it..haiz...so, get to meet the real perosn of AAR soooooooooooo close, just in front of you, but cant hv the chance to talk, shake hand or film the whole process....(probably i m standing as second last and since the radio winner only 8 attended, and they want to get all settle sooo fast, i din hv all those chances, but the person in front of me did, at least shake hand and speak to mike..)if i could, i will ask tyson or anyone of them if they still remember that i m the one who called yesterday and they ask me to climb up to the car....haha...
anyway..till today..i m still all H in my mind and so happy all the time..i really duno the reason of being so happy....probably i din see H for long time n din expect to get out with H yesterday...probably for H is nothing..but for me...i duno...its just happy, not for nothing, for reason, n i think the reason is so obvious..
recently found out, i will still miss and in love with the US and German actor sooooooooo much esp German, but it maybe, and high posibility, it will be fading away when if i get along with H...
it's silly me...cz i clearly kno..h ady in relationship and....ya, v r impossible..i jz kno...
i just met H half day, but dunno how many days i can be happy for it...how incredible is the power of love?
between AAR and H, who will i choose? sure H......cz i kno and like them only because of H....
31/10..i will call it a day...a real day for all these moment that i hv been so down for everyday...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
刚才
二零零九年十月十一号 凌晨两点十七分
一直犹豫着要不要写这篇。
刚才，和他在先说了话。。。至今，应该是最长的话吧。没错，是最长的。
好久没跟他说那么长的话了。
跟她谈了这么久，突然就算看那德国戏也没被那主角深深吸引着（不是完全没有），可是为什么，同时，也突然没有感觉到那种平时期待很久跟她在一起就算只是说话而已的那种幸福感。。。。。（也不是完全没有，只是没有想象中那么多）
天。。。这到底是什么。。。
刚才，应该是那美国组合的演唱会。。。
刚才，他说他没去。。。喜欢他们不一定要去。。。
刚才，我说我原本有办法的导入门票，可是问他要不要一起去时他却没回应所以我没再去找票了。。。
刚才，他说他要也可以，买他们专辑就行了。。。
刚才，他说他决定不出国读书了。因为家人朋友都在这里。
刚才，虽然是我主动跟他说话，可是他竟然主动问我东西，让我可以跟他继续谈下去。
刚才，虽然，他问我的都是关于什么forecastresult，哪间学院接受forecast等等，可是，至少，这次谈话并不是全程由我负责找话题。
刚才，他说他有新车了，虽然还没考到驾照。。。
刚才，她跟我说他的学会赚了很多钱，她跟我说他比我好（在学会方面），她跟我说他比我成功，她跟我说他跟她补习老师的班级一起去海边trip很好玩，她跟我说现在的总团长没人尊敬。。。。
我有问他明天得空吗，也许我去他家。她想了想，说不得空，等spm过后吧，反正他没出国了。他问我干嘛那么似乎没见他不可那样，我就随便说我最近很无聊。。。他说他不想见我，等spm过后吧。知道他在开玩笑，因为明天他午餐晚餐都不得空，而他也不会有早餐时间。可是我还是坚持假装无聊说明天我无论如何都会打电话给他见他。。最后他就说了：“随你吧！”
真的好久没跟他说那么多话了。刚才看见他口若悬河滔滔不绝迫不及待地一直问我东西跟我说我，那时觉得，刚才那就是以前我认识的他。在刚才，她那么的可爱。。。。
同时，也是刚才，她跟我说他要下线了，因为他的那个他已经在房里黑脸催他睡觉了。。。。
一直犹豫着要不要写这篇。
刚才，和他在先说了话。。。至今，应该是最长的话吧。没错，是最长的。
好久没跟他说那么长的话了。
跟她谈了这么久，突然就算看那德国戏也没被那主角深深吸引着（不是完全没有），可是为什么，同时，也突然没有感觉到那种平时期待很久跟她在一起就算只是说话而已的那种幸福感。。。。。（也不是完全没有，只是没有想象中那么多）
天。。。这到底是什么。。。
刚才，应该是那美国组合的演唱会。。。
刚才，他说他没去。。。喜欢他们不一定要去。。。
刚才，我说我原本有办法的导入门票，可是问他要不要一起去时他却没回应所以我没再去找票了。。。
刚才，他说他要也可以，买他们专辑就行了。。。
刚才，他说他决定不出国读书了。因为家人朋友都在这里。
刚才，虽然是我主动跟他说话，可是他竟然主动问我东西，让我可以跟他继续谈下去。
刚才，虽然，他问我的都是关于什么forecastresult，哪间学院接受forecast等等，可是，至少，这次谈话并不是全程由我负责找话题。
刚才，他说他有新车了，虽然还没考到驾照。。。
刚才，她跟我说他的学会赚了很多钱，她跟我说他比我好（在学会方面），她跟我说他比我成功，她跟我说他跟她补习老师的班级一起去海边trip很好玩，她跟我说现在的总团长没人尊敬。。。。
我有问他明天得空吗，也许我去他家。她想了想，说不得空，等spm过后吧，反正他没出国了。他问我干嘛那么似乎没见他不可那样，我就随便说我最近很无聊。。。他说他不想见我，等spm过后吧。知道他在开玩笑，因为明天他午餐晚餐都不得空，而他也不会有早餐时间。可是我还是坚持假装无聊说明天我无论如何都会打电话给他见他。。最后他就说了：“随你吧！”
真的好久没跟他说那么多话了。刚才看见他口若悬河滔滔不绝迫不及待地一直问我东西跟我说我，那时觉得，刚才那就是以前我认识的他。在刚才，她那么的可爱。。。。
同时，也是刚才，她跟我说他要下线了，因为他的那个他已经在房里黑脸催他睡觉了。。。。
Sunday, October 4, 2009
mooncake festival
4/10/2009 12:06am
no longer is mooncake festival actually..its after 12am
well..nothing special here..normal family as usual on any big days...but this time my aunt said she will b coming back today but due to his bz stuff out there..she cant make it..so probably she will only be back on november........
i saw H online, i asked...about the concert..if really i manage to get the ticket, will h coming with me...dunno if H din see my message..cz H set the status as 'away'...afterall, H din reply...
yes..like i kno ya do....i miss H...so much...i hv many many mnay things that have to write here..today some new past memory between H and me appears again on my mind...gotta write down here before i forget...though i know i won't...
but its so tired now...will update my feeling soon...probably in chinese....
eventually,i found out that this blog almost float with the names H......it just seems like i created this blog for H but actually its not...its just so happen that i hv a huge crush on H nowadays..i created for some reason and somebody else...somebody i like the most..or i regret the most...watever...i thought i like H the most???damn! what m i writing now?
i really got confused with all these feelings...
its all messed up...
man!i coudn't take it anymore..all these feeling is stranggling and btorturing me....
and most importantly....i m really really really got addicted to USA and germany...especially germany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i miss them..those actor i mean........
shit! wat a stupid act that fall in love with somebody that i extremely impossible=.=
no longer is mooncake festival actually..its after 12am
well..nothing special here..normal family as usual on any big days...but this time my aunt said she will b coming back today but due to his bz stuff out there..she cant make it..so probably she will only be back on november........
i saw H online, i asked...about the concert..if really i manage to get the ticket, will h coming with me...dunno if H din see my message..cz H set the status as 'away'...afterall, H din reply...
yes..like i kno ya do....i miss H...so much...i hv many many mnay things that have to write here..today some new past memory between H and me appears again on my mind...gotta write down here before i forget...though i know i won't...
but its so tired now...will update my feeling soon...probably in chinese....
eventually,i found out that this blog almost float with the names H......it just seems like i created this blog for H but actually its not...its just so happen that i hv a huge crush on H nowadays..i created for some reason and somebody else...somebody i like the most..or i regret the most...watever...i thought i like H the most???damn! what m i writing now?
i really got confused with all these feelings...
its all messed up...
man!i coudn't take it anymore..all these feeling is stranggling and btorturing me....
and most importantly....i m really really really got addicted to USA and germany...especially germany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i miss them..those actor i mean........
shit! wat a stupid act that fall in love with somebody that i extremely impossible=.=
Thursday, October 1, 2009
first day in october
1/10/2009 11.20pm
dude..its october now...time flies...
raining now..drizzling outside i think..it seems i can get a good night sleep today..haha
today 1 more person found this blog..my college friend..haha..really worship n salute him. according to him, he read all those post that i wrote in chinese..he can nearly tells me all the content here..fanstatic...anyway,1 more reader here..hmmm....now look like its almost times for me to set this blog to 'private'..well, see how things go later...
yesterday n today, trust n tort teacher just release our class much earlier than usual..trust yesterday even 1 hour earlier..ha..good thing for me too..not much to study yet..though i dun think i will..haha..anyway, hopefully i can be really hardworking in year 2...rejected Cardiff...still have to set Cardiff as my ultimate goal..besides LA and Germany^^
my friend told me to listen 'when there was me and you' by vannessa hudges from HSM and study about the lyrics...he said the whole situation is just similar with me and H...
seriously?
anyway, who am i to care?
to my dearset H,
though i let myself believe that miracle could happen, i know it forever won't..
you will be my forever fairy tales, though i m always wishing it to comes true..
someday,somehow...
you know what..
sometimes,
i wish i could tell you so many things that how much i want you to know...
but i wont make my move...even one step forward...without courage...
matter now is, i m not posseing any courage...
though i let you become my fairy tales, i know i will still hope it will always comes true...too
but fairy tales will still remains.....
as a fairy tales.
found out something great for me when i going home from college at 7pm today...on the bus, i m trying to recall all those memories with H..when there was me and H...i never thought i can be so hypnotized...
keep on thinking my feeling towards H...wat will all these bring me to?
trying to pull myself together...
at the moment i stepped down from the bus, an exhausting body with an exhausting mind...
i realise, i can forget H, if i really want to...
no doubt on that...
if i really could, i would.
dude..its october now...time flies...
raining now..drizzling outside i think..it seems i can get a good night sleep today..haha
today 1 more person found this blog..my college friend..haha..really worship n salute him. according to him, he read all those post that i wrote in chinese..he can nearly tells me all the content here..fanstatic...anyway,1 more reader here..hmmm....now look like its almost times for me to set this blog to 'private'..well, see how things go later...
yesterday n today, trust n tort teacher just release our class much earlier than usual..trust yesterday even 1 hour earlier..ha..good thing for me too..not much to study yet..though i dun think i will..haha..anyway, hopefully i can be really hardworking in year 2...rejected Cardiff...still have to set Cardiff as my ultimate goal..besides LA and Germany^^
my friend told me to listen 'when there was me and you' by vannessa hudges from HSM and study about the lyrics...he said the whole situation is just similar with me and H...
seriously?
anyway, who am i to care?
to my dearset H,
though i let myself believe that miracle could happen, i know it forever won't..
you will be my forever fairy tales, though i m always wishing it to comes true..
someday,somehow...
you know what..
sometimes,
i wish i could tell you so many things that how much i want you to know...
but i wont make my move...even one step forward...without courage...
matter now is, i m not posseing any courage...
though i let you become my fairy tales, i know i will still hope it will always comes true...too
but fairy tales will still remains.....
as a fairy tales.
found out something great for me when i going home from college at 7pm today...on the bus, i m trying to recall all those memories with H..when there was me and H...i never thought i can be so hypnotized...
keep on thinking my feeling towards H...wat will all these bring me to?
trying to pull myself together...
at the moment i stepped down from the bus, an exhausting body with an exhausting mind...
i realise, i can forget H, if i really want to...
no doubt on that...
if i really could, i would.
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