很很很emo

有时候，一直提醒自己，跌倒了爬起来就好，拍拍膝盖又往前走。

可是有时候，真的跌的很伤很痛。

今天又被那些前辈还是什么的说他们不明白我的accent，甚至还有一个session也不用我参与了，我可以回家。（好像什么真人秀输了被送回家的感觉）

虽然不是什么比赛，我也只是一个小小的volunteer witness，竟然也这样，看来我要pupillage的期望要没有了。

不知道自己emo什么，又不是第一次被说accent问题。

也许感到embarrassed，也许是frustrated。

我不知道，很气馁，很无助，好像狠狠被人刮了一巴掌。

不知道，可是很烦。

也许怀疑还有别的原因。

就算只是accent，也不用不够witness也不用我了吧。

还是我的表达能力很有，越来越有问题，不够articulate？

还是他们认为我没做好准备（因为今天我也许把自己搞得好像看起来很糊涂，导致还要一半换人）

还是自己理解问题能力很差，可能还到那组的pupil不及格？

（对，所有那个course的，都是有pupillage了的，可以说全部都是新韵的一班，或者是一班好厉害的人才）

明明自己也知道是小事一桩，可是还是不知道为什么这样烦。

心情，真的很，忐忑？不安？烦恼？担心？不解？蒙羞？震惊？

真的又一种从高处跌到谷底的感觉，literally。

就算还微笑着，也许当时自己心理表情也是无法接受。

真的又一种很像放声呐喊，大声嚎哭，歇斯底里地口孔叫的冲动。

嗯，没事的。

凡事往好的方面想。

emo一下就好。

笑笑又过了一天，明天又是另一个好天。

You'll never know what will happen. That is why everything is possible.

Things change and people change.

Give me the luck coupled with my effort one day I can change the world:D

謹記。。。

比爾蓋茲給年輕人的十句話 ～

1.社會充滿不公平現象。你先不要想去改造它，只能先適應它。
（因為你管不了它）

2.世界不會在意你的自尊，人們看的只是你的成就。
在你沒有成就以前，切勿過分強調自尊。
（因為你越強調自尊，越對你不利）

3.你只是中學畢業，通常不會成為CEO，
直到你把CEO職位拿到手為止。
（直到此時，人們才不會介意你只是中學畢業）

4.當你陷入人為困境時，不要抱怨，你只能默默地吸取教訓。
（你要悄悄地振作起來，重新奮起）

5.你要懂得：在沒有你之前，你的父母並不像現在這樣"乏味"。
你應該想到，這是他們為了撫養你所付出的巨大代價。
（你永遠要感恩和孝敬他們，才是硬道理）

6.在學校裡，你考第幾已不是那麽重要，但進入社會卻不然。
不管你去哪裡，都要分等排名。
（社會、公司要排名次，是常見的事，要鼓起勇氣競爭才對）

7.學校裡有節假日，到公司打工則不然，
你幾乎不能休息，很少能輕鬆地過節假日。
（否則你職業生涯中一起跑就落後了，甚至會讓你永遠落後）

8.在學校，老師會幫助你學習，到公司卻不會。
如果你認為學校的老師要求你很嚴格，
那是你還沒有進入公司打工。
因為，如果公司對你不嚴厲，你就要失業了。
（你必須清醒地認識到：公司比學校更要嚴格要求自己）

9.人們都喜歡看電視劇，但你不要看，那並不是你的生活。
只要在公司工作，你是無暇看電視劇的。
（奉勸你不要看，否則你走上看電視連續劇之路，
而且看得津津有味，那你將失去成功的資格）

10.永遠不要在背後批評別人，
尤其不能批評你的老板無知、刻薄和無能。
（因為這樣的心態，會使你走上坎坷艱難的成長之路）

:)

JUST BECAUSE I have decided to stay, THAT'S WHY I headed home.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=378751205473384&set=a.177474775601029.48651.151523654862808&type=1&theater

很有意思的一段話。──你想过普通的生活，就会遇到普通的挫折。你想过上最好的生活，就一定会遇上最强的伤害。这世界很公平的想要最好,就一定会给你最痛,能闯过去,你就是赢家，闯不过去,那就乖乖退回去做个普通人吧。所谓成功，并不是看你有多聪明，也不是要你出卖自己，而是看你能否笑着渡过难关。by 曾毓林 ♥

Family is always the best remedy, wherever and whoever you are, however difficult the hurdle is. They'll be there.

God has his own plan for you, however huge the problems may be, what'll be, will be.

-What'll be, will be.

-God has his own plan for you, however huge the problems may be, what'll be, will be.

-只要你相信，奇迹一定会出现。

-人善天不欺。

-do not give up, do not surrender. the sun will come out tml.there's always a room at the top, or a few floors under it.

-everyone believes in you, all u have to do now is at least have a little faith in yourself!

-DONT QUIT. you're already in pain. you're already hurt. get a reward from it.

-But there's still hope... there's always still hope... Don't give up... ...

-"if all else fail, there's still hope."

-"I was once told, give up and fail or hold on until the end. Don't stop believing."

-"Sometimes I know every little helps. The Zen moment."

‎"One day you’re 17 and planning for someday, and then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is Today, and then someday is Yesterday. And this is your life" - Nathan Scott (One Tree Hill)

Venting

Some friends think you are smart, some friends think you are stupid. Never mind going for those who think you are stupid, then see how you impress the ignorant.:D

Those who you want to impress are not who those you actually want to be friend with?

LOL!

Hello, think I am annoying and you are so cool yelling at me in the library? Maybe I am annoying, haha, but alas, you are not cool too:)

Because people around might thought I was annoying you but at the same time they will think you are emotional too because you just can't control yourself.

Right, they might do not know the whole situation and yeah, that's exactly what I wanted to say!

They will get annoyed by you because they do not know what type of person exactly you are and yelling in the library definitely not a good impression you made(and you might think you are very cool) but er....

Oh, and this might be the first time I speak to you since 2012? How many times I have ever spoken to you? Not even many, right.:)

Oh by the way, as you wish, I truly deeply sincerely think I am suffering from a little bit of autistic or just get sick of of socializing or no point networking with you guys... I do not know. Maybe you were absolutely right and have every right to yell at me :p

Oh no, I am turning into devil or some sort of antagonist now =.='''

Then a friend came, I just got so heartfelt, when the friend again (repeatedly) said and told me I am those 'haggle over every ounce' type.

I almost burst into tears but luckily I didn't. Haha.

People, please, I tell you I am poor, I mean it! I didn't say it for the sake of saying it or asking for sympathy or something. I am just telling you why I can't join you, the truth.

And, sorry if it turns out not what I intended. Next time I will instead find a better excuse to lie to you then. Since your proposal or expression or words suggesting you would prefer that way.

Thank you!

If I am not as poor as you think, I do not have to work and constantly look for jobs while you enjoying your life.

You may think I am lifeless and say whatever you want, I don't mind.:)

I skyped with my mom yesterday and I was told by the fact that I am really seriously in need of money and saving money, as in not spending too much. Listen, it is 'not spending too much', not 'overspending'. Overspending is more luxurious and yes I couldn't afford that.

I didn't tell anyone how 'suffering' my life is here because even though I felt it, I do not feel I am really that pity and I am writing it out now is just for own personal venting, please don't take it personally and do not sympathize me. This is not suppose to mean anyway in that direction.

I can write this post in Chinese and coupled with the emotional music which cause my tears drop but I didn't. Because there is no need.

I am fine here, I am a grown man and I can take care of myself.

I went to Aldi by myself today. I never realize I will be better off alone, as I do not have pressure to get some awkward perspective from friends of me going for the cheapest thing every time, never mind their brands, tastes, qualities.

So, do not like me? problems?

Fine. Echoing those famous quote from internet:' I never wake up every day to impress you.'

I have my own best buddies who really matter to me, and I believe you too.

So, get a life:)