I met a person

17/10/2010 2.32am UK time

I met a person..a person that i shocked when i first see..a person i wana meet deadly from the first sight...a person enlighten my life in UK...a person who is the only person can make me stay in Uk without thinking much of Malaysia...the only person who ease my aggressiveness to move to US and Germany...

I am falling in love? I am not sure..and i am also not sure is the person is the one for me...

12/10/2010, the first lecture of Sales of Goods and Agency..I will remember this date..

Will I end up with the person? or I am still into H?

well, let it be...

i believe i can find my love one day..don't stop believing..

STUDY!!!

I reached UK

5.35pm 3/10/2010 UK time

yeap, as titile said, I reached UK.

i reached london heathrow airport on 23th sept 2010 with lifang and then we separated there.

i travel to cardiff by the cardiff Uni free couch service.

then i reach my room..

there is a lot lot lot to say here..

but in conclusion, Cardiff is really a nice place.

i have been here for 1 week. induction here is always attending talk, fair etc etc.

i have almost familiar with everything here in cardiff, it is not a big city.

i went to city center all the time and even we walked there once...

tomorrow is monday and my first class start, hope everything will be fine.

what i have to do now is, plan my future, whether to stay here or what.

then of course, get a bloody good degree!!!!

yeap, i do miss malaysia sometimes....foos, people, environment, weather etc etc...

but anyway, work hard here is always my priority!

for my family, friends, hubby there hahaha..and whoeve there in malaysia that is important to me, care about me...take a very good care of yourself!

I will be very fine here and i will be back soon! either visit or stay there...

and, 1 word i learned here,

CHEERS MATES!!!

E.M.O

2010年9月21号 早上8点40分

离我要离开马来西亚的那一天，就只是那么的一天。。。

明晚就要飞了。。。

今天早上，爬起身，看着昨晚累倒睡着等着filetransfer结果没有关到的电脑，很多人都在我facebook最新的status上留言。。。。
很多人都叫我不要走，不要离开。。。

现在才知道，我身边还有那么多关心我的人， 最近要离开了，不断要去应酬，可是也无意间察觉到，我身边还有很多值得我去想念的朋友，除了3+3, 还有 sheauyeong 他们，还有qingyao 他们 ，liching 等等。。。还有很多很多。。。

甚至988，DTSD等，ah sim 那一句：“去到英国不要给人家欺负，有什么事情记得打电话回来给我们。。。”真的让我知道，我也会去想念他们，不单单只是应酬而已。。。

当然，家人肯定十分关心我，我也是，可是我真的不懂要怎样表达。。总之，我现在才察觉到，真的，很多人在关心我。。。

我要离开了，无论多不舍得，都要告诉自己，这条路是自己选的，没什么好哭，就算去到国外多累多苦都要拼回来。。。

很多人看死我不能在英国逗留，尤其是美国，我就要凭着这些话，努力向前，我相信那些是我的动力，很主要的动力。。。

马来西亚，其实也没什么好留念的，就只是家人和一大班朋友。。。我可不担心， 因为这些，都可以保持联络。。。

就只是他， 我不知道我到底还有没有喜欢他，可是那晚，就算几个月没见他了，只见了他一晚，第二天，心就好像要被撕开般的想念他。。。

去到那边，我不联络他，他，会自己联络我吗？

E.M.O最近很流行这个字。。。

E.M.O完后，告诉自己，无论是去美国发展还是回来988 ,生活再苦也要拼下去！

人因为梦想，才会伟大的！

加油，刘祖康！

it is not over

15/9/2010 10.47pm


IT IS NOT OVER....

i really seriously thought it is over.
but damn!
I AM SERIOUSLY MISSING H DEADLY TODAY!!!




this feeling has gone for a while and thought it is over.
now i only found out it has not disappear, just hide in deep down my heart...


MAN!

I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BADLY H!!!!

T.T

killing me...

SHIT!again...

15/9/2010 2.21am

it has been a while that i did not come here..

but this time

SHIT!it comes again...

i thought i had seriously over it.

but it really seems impossible.

i unexpectedly received H's call in the midnight after i came back from kuala selangor and working on something have not even take my shower.

H called asked me if i free to bring H out, if I have car.

yeah, i know H will only find me when in need of something.i asked:'why do u always find me when only u got something to trouble me?' H said:' if nothing, i got no point of looking for you...'

I asked if the 'thing' is urgent that i gotta bring H out right now. i asked what is the matter make H called me midnight after a few months of not contacting each other.

H have no idea to tell me what H really want. after v have a chat for a while on phone, yeah, H needs cigarattes.

amazingly, i said ok and tell H will drive to H house and bring H out after i shower.

NO ONE can ask me out after a long tired day like this in the midnight,especially with the lame reason of needing cigarrates.

before hang up, i asked H to call me again to reconfirm whether do i wana go out, but after hang up, i re-think again and again...i decided YES!!!

as expected, H called after a while, after my bathe. H asked me whether i wana out or not and i said yes!!! then, driving a car in the midnight, about 12.40am, to drive H to buy cigarattes. and before H got on car, hitz.fm playing 'the truth' by Kris Allen. i am hoping H can hear that song before the song end, but H said doesn't like kris allen.lol

i thought of going to H house after buying cigarrates, but H said afraid of our voice may wake the family up, so we went to mamak, sri petaling kinrara.

H ordered drinks and cigarrates and the guy saif the cigarrates is out of order. I am thinking is it the God is helping me, no cigarrates, so H can't smoke.

I want H to quit smoking!

H went to counter and got it.

and what is so amazing, I smoke!

maybe 1 and a half of ciggarates.

the first half is from H, H taught me.

H did not stop me instead.

then the 2nd one is i took it by myself.

i just want to try, H said i am wasting because i did not take the smoke to lung, but the feeling is killing me. so i just take it, and blow it out.

but main point, I SMOKE! the first time SMOKING experience.

unexpectedly, given to H in this unexpected midnight.

I told H that i am going to UK, I asked for the H's shirt i used to own for a while, H promise give it to me and bring it to UK.

i was joking by telling H if i miss H i will webcam with H. H said YES!!!H did not say no.

i repeated the demand few times and H did not say no.

hopefully this is right and H mean it..

anyway, to make a long story short, LOVE IS SO RIDICULOUS!

i tried smoking because of H

i realize love can be so ridiculous until making someone do what he don't usually

i can go out anytime just by a call by H, even how unwilling i am at the moment.

i realise i did not actually forget H

i did not actually not fallen for H anymore

all this because,

I love H,

or I had a huge crush on H again...

or, i did not forget H before AT ALL!

but when can i tell H the truth?

what is going to happen after i get to UK?

i really wonder..

H doesn't want me, i know, because i tests H again just now and clearly,

NO CHANCE

衣服

2010年6月22号 晚上11点02分

刚刚从shirley家吃晚餐回来。

这几天回想起他自动发给我的简讯和msn，心里都很甜。晚餐中间，电话响了。还以为是谁，原来是他，他说他明天要穿那件衣，向我讨回。我说我在外面，他说明天一定要穿，不要一直穿同样的衣服。我说我回到家再打电话给他。大约半个小时后，他又打来问我。结果，为了他，我还是愿意提早回家。

回到家等他来拿的同时，帮她烫了那件衣服。有点幸福的感觉。接入以后我都可以帮她烫衣那有多好。。。

终于把衣服还给她了。。。由于他似乎有一点赶，在这他弟弟和表姐，所以没问太多。只说我迟点会找他看戏。他没拒绝我已经很开心了。

还有很多话跟他说，关于那天别人接她电话的，关于他自动msn我关于他照片，还nudge了我两次的(Utar model?) ，关于我还会向他在借衣服又或者别的东西，关于他够不够衣服，不够我可以借他等。。。。

这几天都在想他，幻想/相信那天我没有回复他可以让他感觉到之前我的感受然后更开始想念没有我的日子然后自动找我。果然，今天，就在想到他时突然看到他打给我。当我接电话后，也许我说话的口吻有点认真，所以他的口吻（听得出，好像是）从原本不认真转去认真，两次通电都是这样。。。这种情况也真的蛮像有时我打给他人然后又怕她认为我在骚扰她然后从原本打算不认真变成认真，真的很想。。。。

离题一下，今天嘉荣竟然问我有没有录音，然后录了让他听。。。是不是我有on air 的可能了？吸引力法则真的有效？还有，cardiff 排名似乎一直在跌，无论如何，我还是相信它是好的法学院。之前就是因为一直相信我会考到可以被它录取的好成绩，结果现在真的差不多进到cardiff了。
总的来说，当我心里有着一股对某样事情抱着很相信的态度是，那件事情似乎真的会如我所愿。虽然cardiff和 on air 都好像还差几步，可是我相信我这两个梦想真的会实现的。

撇开美国德国和他们艺人的伟大梦（虽然我也坚信这些迟早也会如我所愿），就说他好了，我一直相信，虽然很多人都认为不可能，甚至可能包括他自己，我还是相信，我们，会有在一起的一天。。。我真的相信这一天迟早会到来。。。。

虽然之前我还是有点不敢相信我的相信，可是那种感觉真的很难强烈很肯定，所以，刘祖康！你会进到cardiff!你不久后将会on air 报新闻！你和他，不久后将会在一起！

他他他

2010年6月20号 晚上10点11分

很久没有上这里了。。。

这个礼拜都没得休息，在988工作，有时，真的一整个礼拜都没休假。。就好像昨天今天都要开工，明天又要早起上班了。。。最惨的是，我好像没OT拿！！！

回来重点，现在要说的是，今天，他自己先传简讯给我又先msn 我，简讯是早上传的，问我是不是那天打给他（那天是另一个人接电话，但他没说我要找的‘他’不在，反而还说是‘他’。不只是一次了，又两三次吧。我知道那个人不是他，我没问，就匆匆挂电话了。我还以为是他不要接我电话，还蛮伤心失望的。今天他的简讯这样问，就是说明他没有不想接我电话罗！哈哈）我电话过期了还没reload ，很想回复他可是没办法，还打算明天reload 在回他的。msn 是我没看到，直到两个小时后。。他还send 了两个nudge 给我。。。两个小时后我看到他也已经下线了。

无论如何，他今天又自己先sms 又msn 我，虽然我没有（应该是还没）回复 他，（再说他也时常msn 不回复我啊，简讯有时也是，就让他尝试一下这种滋味吧，不然他真的天天以为自己很重要，呵呵）可是，收到这些。。我已经很开心了！

我的考试成绩出了，我竟然得到不错的成绩，进到我要的大学!

那天星期四拿成绩请了半天假后到银行开了个mb trading forex 户口，也让我知道foreign currency account 是什么和怎样运作，现在只要等美国公司发email 给我说收到我的钱就可以开始我的‘赚美金’生意了！

还有，虽然在988似乎很被剥削，但我还是相信，在来临的几个月，还没出国前，我还是有机会on air 报新闻的！还有，我加入回来考CLP 我可以到那边打全职工，进新闻组吧，既然那么确认，再看有没有机会升 dj 。

总之，我就觉得最近蛮幸运的。。。也许我人变乐观开朗了吧，正面力量也会跟着来。。。

加油，你成长了！刘祖康！

还有，我也总相信，我和他，总会在一起，只是时间上的问题。。。他，得相信我，他会喜欢上我，至少是在他潜意识中， （再说我们都一直被人误会到现在，我不知道他有没有否认，可是没有。但是听说他到处说我喜欢他，如果他是那么的抗拒我，他应该不会这样吧）而我，得相信自己，相信我们有在一起的一天。。真的。。。

以后我也相信，有了他，我上面所说的所希望的，哪怕甚至加上金马伦德国美国。。。都会实现。。

成长，真的会让人长大。。。。

今天，有了他的短讯跟 msn ，梦，应该会很甜。。。
（明天或后天该reload 回复他了！）:)

speak to american again!!!

28/5/2010 2.12pm

lolx lolx lolx

i actually spoke to american again through phone!!!live!!!not malaysia dj announcer who speak like american but a truly american (based on his accent)...his name is john this time..lolx

last time, chris, who i spoke to is from MB trading but this time, due to this morning i received a call from china(a girl speak english but doesnt sounds like american) telling me my live account is created in interbank fx...so now i have to deposit my money...so thats y i m looking for way to deposit and choose the way to call them....although the numebr given is malaysia toll free number but i didnt expect is an american who pick up the line..haha..great...

so, working hard in opening my live account both in mb trading and interbank forex....gambateh and earn earn earn!!!!

yeah, later in 3.15pm..i spoke to 2 american again=) first one i hang up cz i gotta do something else for a while and the second one named jason+0
unfortunately, these times, gosh!i cant speak fluently....haiz....gambateh gambateh!i HAVE to speak a pure american english!!!=)

A day

28/5/2010 2.45am

wow, this is a day..

yesterday i went to 988 to so called 'interview', but i had lunch with ppl there while waiting (who i knew) and my process really much easier than whoever apply for intern there i suppose...haha..so, after long consideration, i will work there starting next monday, the salary, precisely reimbursement or allowance is very low though, hopefully i can learn a lot of things there (which my job MAY different from others intern before) and open a path for my future besides law...which is probably my dream...haha

jiarong brought me to HR manager and throught heir conversation, he may know my plan is not earning from legal field but also in media field, and it seems that they wana train me until i am able to 'one leg kick' of those news line job, then they can have me as a part time to help them (as before they did ask me whether can i make it to be a part time newsreader there)...besides, if i come back malaysia or stay in UK /USA, i can gain experience in mass communication broadcasting field, who knows i may work as part time newsreader one day, perhaps also in BBC CNN lolx, which is also my dreams=)

today, originally wana go back sentosa to get my STPM certificate, i truly only wana H to follow me, but H is not free every time i ask including today, and doesn't seems like want to go along with me, i did not go today anyway...although i may ask many friends along since they are also being 'enthusiastic' to go back school like shengeu waikwan jiayu...some of them ask me to get their cert on behalf as well like seokfang liching...and also i wish to get on behalf of H, if H really doesn't want to follow along....

thus, i went to sg long UTAR to help out a while, about 3pm reach there after i submitted every document needed to open a forex live account (since i am going to busy soon), just a while in UTAR, watching those new and first batch of medic student..ha! and of course, i asked H along since H is also going to study in UTAR PJ soon...and within expectation, i got rejected even i know, i will be said that i am irritating..but, it seems, i will relate to H, whenever i am in UTAR, even in Bentong, Cameron and Germany....and whatever i do...
that day, when to UTAR with H, to change the course, just me and H...although H will only look for me when is in desperate and won't give me a damn when having fun or no problem encountered, i will still, help out, and i know, i am crazy stupid, but i got no choice, these are all out of my hand, my instinct telling me, i have to go and i will go.......

then about 6/7pm, when to DTSD with jiayu and seokfang and look for those ex-colleague to have dinner or yamcha in oldtown kuchai...ah sim, shawn, christine, kavent and jeff attended...seokfang don't know some of them though, but so glad she can come along..but she got really bad luck recently, gotta pray hard for her..for whoever God up there, just send a guardian angel or whatever to be at her side to protect her...but weird, i did not talk as much as i used to be...anyway, before i going aboard, gotta get them again esp ah sim and treat him good meal, seriously, he is a good boss...most overwhelming part, he will ask us to call them whenever if we really need his help, as well as shawn...
also, i gotta went back to ariffin&partners, the legal firm i worked before during 2007...to pay a visit..they are good bosses there as well...
and ask seokfang out during this holiday....

ok, then, me and jiayu went to jiaxi house to visit him...did not inform him or anyone, just randomly went up and press the bell....lolx....yeah, he injured one of his toes, this is the second week....apparently, he gotta rest for 2 weeks ++. this is the second week...last tuesday, me and jiayu also bought some food from pasar malam to his house, just hoping we chitchat eat and get photos...but we only get to know he injured his leg that night after we went up..lolx...so, this is like 2nd time of visiting a patient..haha

anyway, i went to jennyu house with jiayu this tuesday before going pasar malam with shirley waikwan huixin qingyao and shengeu...um, jiayu wana give something his dad ask her to buy on behalf, and seems jiaxi is injured (jiaxi will go with his mum as well)and her dad is outstation, i was accompanying her...um, went there sat there and chat there with his parents...@@2 youngsters and 2 parents....so weird... luckily we still have topic and chat for almost 1 hour and 1 1/2 hour..lolx

at jiaxi house, we webcam with jennyu, i showed him annoying orange etc..haha...then, he received a call from waikwan yeowkiat asking him to go out maybe for supper...then since jiayu wana follow along, yeah, i dont mind joining....i left my car is jiaxi's hosue and me and jiayu got on yeowkiat car at the first place since jiaxi went on...so odd that, jiaxi asked them if they mind me and jiayu joining on the phone, and apologize to kiat after got on kiat car that he brought 2 friends (me n jy) that may be a bit trouble(ie carpooling in kiat car etc)..seriously, awkard huh...anyway, kiat gotta pick kinleong up and joining us later, so me and jiayu got on cheesiang's car (shengeu cheesiang kiat are driving) since i know the way and the place and they did not...so, shengeu laiphong cheesiang waikwan kiat kinleong is along...shengeu and laiphong left earlier and the rest of us just chated until almost 2am..means, not long from just now...haha..well, a great fun chat although some of the topics dont suit me..but know them better..haha

thus, maybe i took tea which may contained high caffein just now in oldtown..i can't sleep now which i suppose to..lolx..and of course, i get some 'nervous shock' as well which is the effect of me taking caffein....

anyway, it is a great day and great night...looking forward to Saturday yamcha(yeah, they plan to have one since everyone is having year end holiday and free) and working on monday!

these days, i thought i really did mix with this gang more than i ever used to be, yamcha, outing etc...well, i am totally okay with that...of course, kennji, liching lonny gang, xueji esp eeli, zhanzhan mollie gang, phooifun waikit weejun gang and H...i feel like outing with them so much as well....also seokfang, cik kok, sentosa's teacher...haha

yeah, with regards to my job, actually i got 3 months holiday before i get aboard, so i got plenty choice of jobs, ie starbucks(sheauyeong), onestop becoming full time day care+ tuition teacher, a day care center( jiayu), a data entry company (khailang or maybe waikwan as well), be a temporary teacher in sentosa, or even go back to DTSD, maybe also look for intern in legal firm........all of them can earn much more than what i get in 988....i did not go back to DTSD cz i think i really got nothing to do there and i afraid they will be hard to reject us if i really ask although ah sim told me i can go back to work anytime when i about to quit for my exam....ah sim just got to know we all are having holiday but two of us got our own jobs and seokfang need to take a good rest..i think he is totally ok with that we are not going back...even better for us as well to not feeling guilty..haha..afterall, he is still a great boss and great company, thats why we plan to buy him a meal before i going aboard....
so, conclusion, i made a decision to work in 988, having a hope that i can learn a lot esp if my 'intern' jobs different from others intern before or after (not verified yet), and create another route in my future, and this is a soooooooo golden opportunity (hopefully) since i can get in there so easily with the help of jiarong..not even interview or sending resume, he just straight brought me to HR manager...i went wednesday not for interview actually but 'discussion' (as the word used by jiarong) and he straight telling my job being there, not asking me question like interview, even having lunch, they already told me...ha! seems they really all know i am going to go there and have a plan about me earlier..wow, so happy if thinking that way..haha...
i would say it is a golden chance is because if not jiarong called me last year to ask me whether can i become a part time newsreader there as they shorting of them and i went to 'audition' twice, i would not have think to have a day to work in any radio or Tv station...plus, seems they willing to train me and later becoming a newsreader! doesnt matter i am going to work in 988 later, but at least i got the experience..and this is my dream and aim, that besides becoming lawyer, part time as news anchor(in whereever, malaysia, uk, usa etc)so, although some people think that its better to get another job like in legal firm (at least it is what my course related), but i truly think i made a right choice, and this is maybe what the god is trying to give me a chance to achieve my goal...so, isn't it sooo golden enough?

yeah, think positive!!!

Jes! Can you believe it?

20/5/2010 11.37pm


JES!!! Can you actually believe it? I just spoke to a American, live, on phone!!!!haha

You gotta be kidding me man! You have no idea how excited i can be now...I couldn't be happier than that...haha

there is problem in my forex, mbtrading.com...after took some time to look for those contact ways, after live chat, they ask me to call them thru skype as they can't reveal my password(which i have forgotten) on the live chat...hahaha

so, i did not expect someone pick up my phone......and the accent, i am sure, he is absolutely an American..his name is Chris!!!haha

gosh....great! hopefully i can earn more money through this!!!

gambateh!!!!

fun

15/5/2010 11.19pm

finally,
exams is over....
yesterday, 14th may, the last day for my last paper....
now, officially, my 3 months holiday is on!

and, until i get to UK....
today the first day of holiday,
just went out one day for karaoke and midvalley,
then tomorrow, badminton...
gotta be more and more....

and of course, gotta work as well....

so, after exam is over,
what i can do now,
besides playing, is hope
hoping i get get fantastic result,
hoping i can get into Cardiff,
hoping i can be much closer with H,
hoping i can get to UK settle down and then USA!!!!

so, that's all for today, first day holiday's notes...
holiday's mood turned on!
have fun enjoy and keep hoping!
believe it!!!

truth

5/5/2010 3.40pm


just stop thinking of,
obssesed with,
missing you for a while

it just not turning out well when i had a crush everytime
it just not helping me out when i keep myself busy
it is just not cheeing me up when i think of you, because the feeling is killing me

always believe that i may can be with you one day
always try my best to be normal with you
always encouraged by people that i stand a chance to be with you

everytime i see something that we have done together before, i will relate it to you, automatically
everytime i see someone that are enjoying the love they have, i will think of you,
automatically
everytime i feel lonely and wanna look for someone's company, the first one who come to my mind is you,
automatically,
man! everything is just so automatic

maybe one day i can really be with you
maybe one day you will not treat me in the way you do now
maybe one day you will make smile everytime i see you, i hear you or think of you

maybe one day i can be honest to you what i feel to you all this time

but,
the truth is, sometimes it may not

truth hurts.








just done with the trust paper...still 3 more to go...

but, i dam worry about it...

i know it may not turns out as i wish for

i know i may not fit in as i as i want to

seriously, i m damn freaking worry now

but i tried my best to not to tell anyone how i think i did for my exam as i always did after every exam...

and, i hope it will turns out as i wish for and as i want to....

man! gotta believe in myself! gotta believe the luck is not always away from me! gotta believe the fate is not always not in my hand!

something may just bring me down no matter how much i work for
someone may just turn me down even how much i wish for

but,
the truth is, sometimes it may not

see?

truth doesn't always hurts.

it has been a while

as topic
it has been a while
i did not update this blog
it has been a while
i did not miss you
meet you
see you
obsessed with you

ever since i love you
like you
crush on you...
i will shiver, scare, nervous and heart beating fast
every time i call you text you see you

it has been a while
i did not know how have you been doing
until that day
finally you said
okay let's go out together for lunch
after times i called you

with you, from McDonald to Carrefour
from 3pm until 7pm
first eye i see you
after the while that we have not been meeting
i will still excited
happy
and smile deep in my heart

it makes me more sure of
yes i love you
so much and a lot
even i know we are impossible
even you don't give me a damn about it
even you don't care

you may not remember every single moment we been together
you may not feel the same way as i do every single time i meet
you may not care about my every single phone call

yet,
it is just so automatic
i keep on loving you

i won't care how much i spend on you for whatever reason while you won't care how caring i am being to you
i won't care how crazy i can be when i am with you while you won't care how many calls i can make to you in all these time
i won't care how people say bad things about you while you don't care how protective i will be to you
i won't care how may times you lie on me and joke about me in front of your friend while you won't care how hurt can i be when i know all these

i just won't care

all because i love you

these days we have been re-connecting and meeting each other
not always
but at least much more compared to what we were before
seriously frankly honestly
i am perfectly glad to have these moment back
even though we may be with others hanging out together most of the time

i can be so happy if you just simply reply my text with a word 'ok'
or even not a positive answer
i can smile all day long if you just simply return my call after i called you especially i just called you once on that day
i can be on top of the world when you call me at the first place just simply for asking me out

do you know all that?

but
every time i call you sounds impatient
every time i date you sounds refusing
why are you being so hard to me?

if you wish i can delete you from my mind
i would if i could

hey,
i wanted to tell you every thing,
ALL,
all about what i feel towards you,
but situation is pushing me not to
killing me deep inside
torturing me all these while

you know,
I TRIED FIGHTING IT,
BUT I CAN'T
I THINK I AM SERIOUSLY FALLEN FOR YOU


your brother had went abroad to Germany for study.
Gosh! it's Germany!!! not Belgium that you told me before (as Belgium is happy enough for me)
i just don't know why,ever since i have a huge crush on the US , AI and Germany artists,
and it so happen that you have some connection with those countries...i will always relate you with those.
the crush feeling on those artists is killing me but
ONLY YOU can heal that for me.

even Bukit Tinggi and Cameron Highlands that it just look so familiar to Germany for me, there are some connection with you as well.....

apparently you spread to the whole school that i am crushing on you
and i know why
because you just trying to show off as i am ex-head prefect
but i don't mind

whatever you do, i can take it
whatever harsh things you say, i can endure it
whatever you care, i will care
if anybody ask me
how long this will last
i don't know
i have not idea at all
what i just know
whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there

but
sometimes it just seems so hard
this life not always what it seems

just wonder.......

since everything is happening so coincidentally,

would you really meant for me?

ARE YOU?

CNY is approaching

11/2/2010 11.33pm


haha...CNY is approaching!!!!

the office where i work has officially confirm today is the last day before CNY holiday.so we went to Lot 10 Shabu One for lunch...my tuition....yeah, wednesday last day...both will resume only on next next monday..haha....

and yeah, today i went to do 'something' after the dinner..i left a little bit earlier before they leave...i went the 'thing' then they called me saying cant find ee leng since they are celebrating ee leng and kavent's birthday....so i get doen to the restaurant again and after eating the cake, returning ee leng's stuff to her from my car since i can't send her as i promised earlier...nobody know what the 'thing' is...i din tell anyone..haha

today morning woke up earlier to prepare for the 'thing'..well, its doesnt seems smooth all the way...just many things is standing in my way...and when i wana start the car, my kenari, i can't start the engine!!!see?sigh...anyway, i tried my best to settle what i can....its not perfect though, i hope everything doesnt goes bad as i expected...please...

and, due to the 'thing', i missed my tort class...haiz..today is my last day of skol as well before CNY..haiz...school restart on next thursday evening...so fast=.= hopefully what i missed today i can get fully understand after readinng the part my friend told me to...

well, today in the 'thing', i met JJ, Rudy, Jaclyn Victor, Hunny madu, the guy hosting 8tv night live( Moo? i think so) and the guy who giving tracffic report in hitz.fm (Ryan i suppose) and many many leng zai leng lui...Rudy even speak to me...he is sitting beside me while waiting(he is actually behind me)but he seems so overexcited so i din really speak much to him...>.< wakaka....well, after today, i realise i really do love to be in white people country i.e USA as i told earlier and being surrounded by white people...wakaka...even i got to stay in malaysia at last, i will also prefer all those 'higher level' life like meeting with those high profile person or has high social status people and living in high standard area like damansara, having a high level and rich people life..wakaka...

all right, got to wish me all the best afterall.....for today!!!

i promised ee leng to bring her to watch movie tomorrow...but shit, i just got to know i have to help my mum out tml morning, which means i m not free for the whole day!!!afternoon have to go jiaxi house for lifang's birthday preparation,(ee leng dont know what time exactly is jx coming back) then night, clubbing!!wakaka...see? i gave her my word earlier man..shit now=.=

all right, CNY is approaching................so HAPPY CNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and good luck tome for everything in this brand new tiger year!!!!! i.e today's works though its not really complete and perfect, 988, my 2nd year assingments and exam............please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and please dont let me have the crush feeling towards the German, USA artists and idol, yeah the HongKong's also, as well as those people i mentioned i.e H, 'the person', and the person i fallen for before....please..

anyway,



happy CNY!!!!

confused

10/2/2010 12.43am

ok...this is actually nothing important post...

just few things, monday, kris allen coming to KL..uhm..he will be first giving autograph in center court MV at around 5-6pm, then move to Gardens Ball Room to performance at 8pm, who only can get in with the passes you won from hitz.fm...and then, he will meet a(or a few? i m not sure) who won a 'meet and greet' passes from hitz.fm only from JJ and Ean session, probably at the back stage...

haiz, sadly, i couldnt attend even one...

i was working that day...at almost 6pm, wai hong called and i accidently hang up his phone and then right after that jennyu called. swt..the point he calling is to tell me he saw my idol, i thought who is my idol, he said kris allen....then jiayu shouting beside and get excited over the phone as well=.=haiz, so pity that i can't go..so just ask them to take as many picture as possible to fill up my dissapointment..yeah, my another facebook friend will upload some of that picture as well..but all that is only for autographing session, they cant go into the following events..haiz...really pity, never thought i can meet him in KL, means never thought he will come down here..then actually i can get his autograph, just get his CD then line up with all those crazy fans together..but, i was working and i didnt know there is a autograph session until 4pm ++ =.=

that day,wow, i listen to his song from the radio for times man..just repeating the only song 'Live like We're Dying'..gosh..start getting sick of it..morning i drive to work, he will be in radio soon and the announcer promoting it, then the songs repeated for twice, i got to office, colleauge tuned in to hitz.fm, i cant hear his voice (he is interviewed by JJ and Ean)inside the radio but only the song that repeated few times...then when i get home, his song again...gosh....cant they play another song? i believe he not only singing this...=.=

then at night, after tuition, me, jiayu and jennyu went to maychin house to discuss about the plan for lifang's birthday...i m the one who reach there, even maychin not home yet=.= then v called jiaxi as well using loudspeaker, asking for the time that he will be free after getting back to KL from sarawak..swt..he is still the same, i asked him why dont use his D Campus to call to maychin house's handphone (cz v called him using that phone earlier then he said he will come back to us in 5 minutes), its cheaper anyway.. then he said he still needs times to complete the duration required in order to get free call, then he said its okay to spend the calling money, (he is using his number to call us, not his Digi campus)he said 3+3's (wow, he know all of us there, at least he know is 3+3 there, yeah, fine, cz v turning the loudspeaker on, v speaking after another back to back, v din tell him who r v but he surely can recognise our voice)value can't be measured by using money..yeah yeah yeah....he still the same jx we know..haha..keep on 'zha' us..yeaah, but touching though when this sentence come out although it came out frequently from him..haha...by the way, the wireless phone in maychin house, not handphone, the loudspeaker system is much more better than any other cell phone...!

uhm...so,i still watching the hong kong series just now...probably its a crush show for me currently instead the German and US show since i force myself not to watch it anymore...just dunno y this hongkong series will capture my heart, i first captured probably by the quarrel between two young man since its similar to me n jennyu story few years back..now the love story inside i felt interesting as well....=.= yeah, i told jennyu about the similarities, i keep on repeating it since the topic just cut off few times without finishing when somebody interrupted..haha, finally before he leave i tell him again about this and i say i will tell him how similar v are and the similarities between the story and personality of us and the two young man inside..he doesnt seems to refuse to hear...haha..so, will tell him by bringing up this topic in the next time v meet...yeah, by the way, he said v watched the whole show cz when he first saw this series on TV he found interesting and watch it all in PPStream..but he said not he almost forget the story when i tell him i m going to tell him the similaritites the next time v meet before he n jiayu is leaving maychin house..haha

yeah, he texted me just now, i mean 9/2/2010 9pm++ to ask me if i wana go his house to chat..i saw it only at 11pm++ when i start watching the show..its too late i know..haha..so i didnt reply him anything...probably jiayu maychin there as well, but i thought the two is bz for their own family stuff for today and maychin will bz for the whole day for wednesday..thats why v di use this few days to record the video for lifang and thus v just decide to wait until jx is back here which is friday...even thursday i m bz oso..so gotta wait till friday anyway when all our CNY break start=)..haha.....watever, just ask them whats all about for the nite (9/2/2010) , means what did they chat, who were there why suddenly got mood to ask me go over and chat, i thought they are all bz and so on when v meet next time..wakaka...

yeah, the topic, 'confuse', yeah, i m confuse now......why? sigh.....i knew i talked about H, about 'the person', abt German US artist and Idol...and now probably Hong Kong artist (from the show precisely)but...shit! it seems to be another person coming into my mind and keep on obsessing me again.......shit! i confuse who i really want to be with now? no, precisely, who i fallen into now? and the person, is the person who i fallen for before and i thought its all over but the feeling seems to be coming back again...don't!!!pleeeeeeeeease.....i know thats impossible....thats why i tried, i really did try my very best to get rid of the feeling which haunted me since form4...i did it successfully but now..................please don't.....and you, if you know who u are, please dont be so close to me, please, otherwise it will happen again.....i m trying my very best to avoid seeing you, avoid having the feeling back on you, avoid missing you, avoid doing something stupid for you, avoid being hurt again and again when you are so close with the one u having now, avoid keep on thinking of you.............please...............

and, H? 'the person'? those countries artist? or wat............or.......................u? argh........................

confused....

but i rather to get confused than being sure the one i want but knowing its impossible.....

at least confused, i willl never have too strong feeling to anyone.....

Ee Li

8/2/2010 1:38am

on the phone with ee li for almost half an hour..

i cant attend the gathering on monday, she just saw my message on facebook and called me..anyway...she is leaving to aussie, on wednesday....

on the phone, she told me a looooot, which i think its meaningful....she is younger than me, but the experience she got, all the way she had been walk through in her life, is much more harder than me....she, is just sooooo kind person...

she is a great person i knew since form 4..all i know, she is a tough girl who i never met before....she is leaving to australia, sometimes, when i m tired, when i feel like seeking some guidance, she will be the suitable one...she had a hard time before this, hopefully everything will turns better in australia...

Ee Li, remember to take care there..remember to saty connected with us....thanks for everything u hv done and helped me, thanks for everything that you told me, thanks for being my friend.....you have been a wonderful person in my life...i will always remember you...and of course, your email, birthday, full malay name.....your email: mondaygod2003@yahoo.com your birthday : 12th October....your full malay name : San Ee Li......and dont worry, i will email you of course, i m man of the word man!!! and facebook even send you a msn offline message out once...haha......

soooo sorry that i cant attend the gathering...really bz on monday..but no worries, ur graduation, ur wedding, definitely i will, try my very best, to attend at least one....and do you know, your graduation will means soooo much to you as well as me....

friend, please take care! i just have a loooooot of things that i wana tell and write but i just cant translate it to words.......

so in short: take care and stay connected! all the best!!!!


' we cant be a perfect person but we can always try to be a better person!' yes, i undertsand this!

hopefully, as you said, we will grown up in the next time we meet, and we will just keep on learning and being more matured as our life goes on.....

I won't say good bye to you, it just indicating we won't meet again...instead,


See ya! My friend!

evening

7/2/2010 11.58pm

just right up evening, maychin came to my house with her bf...yeah, cz i gotta send her back...

she went to broga hill today, and then to midvalley, wana fix her pc according to her...anyway, main point is, her mum disagree with her bf at this moment, so she said she go with me and others, thus, i m the one have to send her home to complete her lie..haha

v chat a while v in our house, about lifang birthday..yeah, we chat a little bit about others topic too, like our frindship and so on..she said probably, us, 6 of us, not really can be 'open' enough when playing, she gave an example, we wont just wear some weird cloth to clubbing...probably some of us will refuse doing so...yeah, although i and her bf told her actually this depends on how many people going along actually, i pretty agree with what maychin said also. sometimes, v really can't be 'open' enough as other...uhm...one of the reason is because 6 of us have all different personality? (this is to explain the example given by maychin bf)..probably...

and, somethings i said(what we previously did while she still at china), i now just came to know actually i din inform maychin before this, like v tried to gotcha jiayu before and so on..then her bf will say :"he din take u as 'family'./ cantonese saying :'own people'."=.=''' yeah, i know he's only joking..anyway, the word 'family' and 'own people' is quite touching..if in their conversation or thought, we are as what they describe, yeah, its really touching for me...

anyway, yeah, after got some idea for lifan birthday, i send her home..in car, she told me the reason why her mum can't accept her bf....so swt, she told me one day she mentioned me in front of her mum, her mum told her 'uhm..actually cho kang this type of people not bad wan..' haha...its indicating, u know, she can choose me as bf or something like that la...swt huh..funny...she answered her mum v r impossible to be together, v will just keep on in quarrel if we do..haha..yeah, thats what i think as well, me and her, although so many misunderstood and thought we are together, we are just sooo impossible...we are tooooooo clos....=)

finally got her home, before this when she asked me for help regarding this matter, so said thank you to me@@ so weird to me, she never said that before....i just ask her dont be so polite and reserve, at the same time, i really feel awkward, first, among this few friends, esp her, never said that before to me....second, why is suddenly everyone sounds so polite and reserve to me, i mean all those friends that soooo close to me....@@ i dont mind helping them as long its in my capacity, esp them, 5 of them.....you know who..i will try my very best to lend my hand to them whenever they need it, as i treat them really not only as friend...haiz...but sometimes, i wonder, why can i be sooooo kind to friend esp them but i cant do the same thing to my family? my mum nag and scold me many times because of this, well, i just dunno why....even when i felt moody with family/at home, any friend that came to me will make me talkative...just like ee li came to my house in few days back....haiz....confuse huh.....

yeah, speaking of friends, the hongkong tv series i m watching and addicted to it now, which i mentioned two police guys quarrel, i thought me and jennyu wont be in that situation anymore after what we had for twice in form 5...haha...now i remember, forgot the actual date(its in may/june 2009 i think), but that is a day that lifang just came back from UK and we are having dinner at Ho Ho steamboat...i mentoned to him about the RM50 he owed me for the flower that we bought for jiayu's birthday..yeah, i m kidding actually, but he just pissed off...so sudden....i thought its for a while, i din realise he still under anger after dinner coz i never speak to him personally, so as he.but when i reached home, he called me, i thought everythig turns ok, he just asked where am i and said he wana return me the money...well, as usual, i will just say its ok, later....he just raise his voice and ask me just take the money and hang up....he reached my house with jiayu not long after i reach and pay me the 50 bugs and goes of..i really wonder, y he can just get so pissed off suddenly? i know i mentioned to him about this many times, but he is the one who owe me and never pay me back wat..i m the one who suppose to be angry @@ i text jiayu asking her whats going on, and she replied me nothing...then maychin called me, she said jiayu called her and ask her what should she do...anyway, i m in little angry and feeling weird, but i felt calm after what maychin try to analyse to me...ok, fine....i just keep quite this time, otherwise, i can straight have a huge quarrel again with him again, thrice,huh....i forgot how we actaully talk in our next meeting.normal or awkward at the beginning? i forgot...see? its just like the two police, although when we quarrel in form 5 for pengawas is more similar to the story...haha..and one more, but not only me, its with jiayu and maychin, 2008, we are in upper 6, that we left his house after senseing his father not really happy with our existance, then we stop by ajimal and we chat inside my car, who knows, it so happen that he wana pick up kevin in ajimal and saw us, she called jiayu and asking her , angrily:' should we be in that way?' (means telling him we go home yet we stop and chat) probably he realised his father din happy and angry that why we din tell him and lie to him, probably...after that we should go qingyao house for party, jiayu absent because of the incident earlier. then me and maychin just try to approach him, but he looks as if like nothing happen before=.= yeah, honestly, before this, he is really a little bit unpredictable and hard to communicate, in my personal view at least..anyway, this is just incidents/memories that suddenly came to my mind...he is a very nice friend afterall that will care well and concern about friend as what i said in few posts i.e. 'friday night' and 'is it me? is it for real?' and yeah, recently he became more ok, what i can say, after he went and got back from aussie....looks like he had grown up and get matured..haha...anyhow, i appreciate this friend afterall, esp the jennyu after got back from australia=)


k..going to be chinese new year, if everything goes well,next year's CNY i probably be in UK already..so gonna appreciate this year CNY....but haiz...family here, just not so complete and perfect as i wish/ thought...always,


there are people, there are problems.....


shit!

confirming friend finally

7/2/2010 3:35pm

wow, finally, i took the step and decision to confirm who those friend who added me in my pending list...confirm 66 friend requests out once...huu....i think i just ignored 2 of my cousin's request (cz they are my family member, i dunwan any family member as my friend in my facebook..haha) others who i know or i dont know, i just press confirm without considering whther do i know the person before..coz quite a few i got no utual friend with him/her, some only 1 or 2, so most probably i don't know them actually...even some with a lot of mutual friends, still, i can't figure out who are they...haha

uhm..i let the list be there for a long time, so, i think some of them ady remove themselve from my pending list..haha..i think so far ady 3-4 peoples who removed...this afternoon just someone remove him/herself making the requests from 67 to 66 only...hahaa..anyway, i still have to settle those quiz,event, group requests....gosh...its just a lot since i leave them there for long time...well, i'll see whether to settle that part today or not:)

uhm..really salute the facebook founder..i think he earned a loooooooooooooooooooooooooot from facebook since its ady sooo common for the people around the world for the last few years...to be precise in how many years facebook had been founded, probably wiki it, or count from the first year US people know about facebook(yeah, malaysia always slow...so cant start counting based on malaysian people..haha)

friday night

6/2/2010 11.53pm

yes,today is saturday..i am writing about yesterday night=)

yesterday night, after i came back from work, without expecting to go any where since i know i gotta help my mum out in the packaging again....

right after i leave my hp in my room n ready to get down....jennyu called....he asked me to out for tonight as he said maychin did say about tonight v just gather somewhere( yeah, maychin asked me out for dinner in order for her to tell me how to lie to her mum, but i said i cant confirm the time..so everything was not confirm de actually)anyway, jennyu said maychin told him ask me about the time since i m the one bz..so, v decided the time n about place, jennyu said he will text me later..yeah, better still, he offered to pick me up=) (he gotta pick me up anyway cz i got no car that time, sent to service...haiz..)

yeah, from 8pm postpone to 8.20pm, from 8.20pm wait till 9pm++, finally he came...having thought v r going put for dinner(since jennyu n maychin mentioned the word 'dinner' instead of 'yamcha' to me=.=) who knows, they hv already eaten...so i m the one who still in hunger..haha...anyway, main point:
1)jiayu came back on friday, as oppose to what she told us, on 10th of feb..anyway, jennyu and I knew her 'suprise' before she really get to suprise us..so, left maychin is the one who duno..
2) jennyu asked me whther did i called sheauyeong and ask her about tonight or not n wats the time she ffinish work@@ how m i suppose to know? plus i m not the driver, i cant just ask anyone i want and i cant pick them up...and i thought its just me jiayu jennyu n maychin...=.='''
3)after picking us all, in car, v chit chat, i found this on the first day i meet maychin after she came back here and was found out again by jiayu on friday noght, which is, compared to lifang, although v have almost half year not seeing maychin, but v will still wont feel awkward when v first meet again....she said because she is talkative..haha
4) in the car as well, i realise that is jennyu as well who take the prompt action to call maychin first ( as oppose what he ask me in the phone : maychin asked you out tonight right? yeah, i feel weird as i n maychin din confirm anything and how can he get to know about it? haha, so, i guess, is jiayu the one who actually wana ask us out) anyway, i asked maychin, when jennyu asked her out, without knowing jiayu is back, dun she feel awkward or strange that he just makan with jennyu n me? she answered : no.why so? its normal wat... in contrats, i msn with jennyu once, about maychin will ask us go to her house at night if we ask her out since she cant go out..jennyu have a thought that, go her house, that will only be probably me and him, if nothing to chat, how? uhm..it shows here the different thought between jennyu and maychin..haha..anyway, nothing special...our personality in 3+3>.<

so, later v have decided to go McD as i have to take dinner and 4 of us can sit for a longer time in McD..almost reaching kuchai lama, jiasen asked jennyu to pick him up, probably on the way jennyu was texting others ie jiasen to ask them out together..wakaka..so, v turn to pick jiasen out..and while waiting jiasen, qingyao called to jennyu phone and asked him to take some liquor later after v have our dinner...probbaly jennyu said ok, then qingyao ask him to pass the ohone to me....anyway, at the end, v decided go to qing yao house since he keep on asking us to go..haha..but, jennyu have to get back to his home and get the vodka that jiayu bought...all these took almost 1 hour n finally its my turn to buy my dinner...jennyu sent me to salak south, canclled the McD plan of course,after getting it, using almost 20mins to look for qing yao house (really like a maze..haha)so, v reached there, together with vi mike and kit wan with the mixer that needed later when v take liquor..

uhm..i had my dinner and they chat in the dining room..later, the main plan begun, v move to qing yao's room..and yeah, v drink, n play..really a lot of funny scene took place man...especially me...so swt.........anyway, i enjoyed....wakaka...and v talked about the next clubbing date too....v played n drink plus keep on laughing n laughing till almost 12.20am++, since maychin wana get home( she hv to get home at 11.30pm actually but she knew that since after she leave, not long, jiayu will wana leave n i probably will force myself go home as well, although i dun feel like, because i have 4 hour class on saturday morning...so, she decided to stay for a while and wait for us...)in short, the whole thing in qing yao house, just freaking fun, probably is first time experience for me to be with them in friday night and taking liquor and having sooooooo much of fun, i enjoyed it afterall....

1 thign i gotta mentioned, due to the vodka actually a lot n v got not enough mixer, at last v drink vodka more than the mixer, jiasen even plain vodka..haha...in a nutshell, most of us drink a lot, probably due to losing in the game many time as well..haha..i m not sure about them, but i really start to feel dizzy at almost the end...i thought i m still ok but it just keep on becoming dizzy by the time goes, when leaving qing yao house, i confirmed i m a little bit drubk but i think i m still still under control....its just so dizzy(like wat i felt when i went to Poppy last time, probably even worse) all the way from qing yao house, in jennyu car till reach my house...wow, when i got back, my sis havent sleep yet..i cant let her know what i did just now...so, plus the dizzy-ness making me cant do anything else ie online, i just quickly brush my teeth , wash my face n get to sleep...the dizzy just become more serious and luckily i can sleep at last before i defeated by the dizzyness..haha..while i talked to my sis before i get to sleep, i really worry i will say sth else since i m a bit blur...luckily no..haha..but gosh, its really dizzy this time..its even become more serious as the time goes....

so the next day, which is today morning, luckily i can still get to school as normal...1 more notable thing is, while they are distributing the liquor, since maychin is 'first timer' for liquor than beer i suppose, and i got class tml, i found that v really taking care of each other..i mean jennyu jiayu me and maychin....especially jennyu, i saw how he actually helped maychin by telling them its a lot of vodka inside liao as it doesnt, and tell me to drink half of the cup as it suppose to finish one whole cup when they are not paying attention on me...and, yeah, i keep on helping maychin in game so she wont lose and no need to drink, but sometime i lose after helping her pulak..haha

anyway, this friday night, i pretty enjoy, no, to be precised, i enjoyed a lot....



and most importantly, i found out how great is our friendship, 3+3 ;)

家

二零一零年二月五号凌晨十二点四十分


嗯，其实没什么，就突然，突发奇想，有所感触，对‘家’。。。

一直以为，就算现在我的家，可以说是大家庭，阿姨舅舅们都时常联络，感情应该不错，之前一直都搞不懂为什么在家庭里会有什么大纠纷，也一直以为，那些天天大吵大闹的家庭，无论大家庭又或小家庭，都是只会发生在有钱人家。。。

艾。。。现在才知道，我这个家，其实也是隐藏着以为只有在戏剧里可以看到的情节。。。又或者这样说，现在好像是个睡火山，等着爆发，一旦爆发，肯定远远超越活火山天天爆发的小小杀伤力。。。

怎么在我这个家庭里，我是说大家庭，竟然会有这样的人？靠！真是的。。。拜托。。。。

一直的我，家，对我来说其实都还好，我这个还处在年轻无极限的青少年，加上最近的崇洋心理。。没对‘家’有什么特别想法和感触。。。

今天和我大表哥谈了一会儿，恩，原来我还可以对‘家’又少少关心的。。。没错，由于都是个大家庭，我们表兄弟姐妹的感情都比一般平常家庭来得好一些。。。

所以现在，只期望我们这班年轻一代长大后不要历史重演就好了。。。

家，有时还是小的好。。。。

又或者其实，没什么谁比较好的。。。

都是

家家有本难念的经。。。。

Damn!

4/2/2010 10.17am

Damn!

yeah, i am working now, just blog a while...

what i wanna say is.....

Damn! F**K! Shit! Gosh!

i now currently besides having crush on those US German artist and Idol...........i think the new crush for TV show is a Hong Kong show and the actor inside!!!! shit!><

and now seems like the crush is stornger towards HongKong than Germany and US like what i did last time since now i can succesfully 'survived' by not watching those German TV show!!!!!><

shit shit shit! I am freaking worry now...

the feeling don't ever try to haunt me again...it will kill me....whichever country they are....please.....NO!!!!!!

Damn!

awful

2/2/2010 4:53pm

i really can't stand it..i gotta say : FUCK!
all these below i hv written then duno which fucking freaking button i have pressed, it goes off all the part above! i have to re-type again for the main part above....great...FUCK U BLOGSPOT!

today, probably, was an awful day for me><

today the class ended at 2.30pm. haiz..what m i suppose to do with the 'too late for work but too early to get back home' time...

today, as usual in class, i wrote my name on the lise that my teacher passed around...i know that is for her later to call out name to ask questions...but everytime i din get called.haha..but this time, very unfortunately, i get called to answer question..something which weird is, when my name get called, my first reaction was not admitiing it and pretending nothing happened...teacher have been repeated my name few times..and i saw many looking at me as they know my name...seriously, if u ask me now, i really dunno why i dunwan to lift up my hand that time..then teacher start asking why if i m not here but my name is there...then she call out the name below..it's my fren's name, who is sitting besides me...then she asked him where is lew cho kang...my fren answered 'i dunno' but the teacher thought he wrote the name for him, probably our handwriting looks similar as what v have written there is just short name, not a passage....then later my fren cant answered the question and she said the question goes to his neighbour, which means, me! swt...i hv to answer the same question afterall!!! yeah, luckily he din ask what is my name..haha..but anyway, swt, why dun i just admit thats me earlier? many of my others fren asked me the same question after class, i seriously got no idea why did i react in that way at the first place...really swt...............................that's why, its really awfullllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

and now, i am worrying if the teacher will remember my name and keep on asking me question next time.worse, she will ask me in next week class why didnt i lift up my hand when my name was called today.anyway, i ady come out with the excuse, i slept when my name was called and my fren only know me as CK, so no one know its me...this is for if she asked me in front of class, or, if she asked me personally, i will just tell her that i m shy..haha...haiz...i gotta admit i did something negative anyway....at least alleging that is better, once for a while, she wont get angry, hopefully....haha...anyway, hopefully she can forget the incident this week is much more better!!!hahaha

and later after class, i ask my other fren to lend me some notes which my fren sitting beside me couldnt get what i want from her...swt..she said 'why u always dun pay attention in class and ask for my notes?!' she is not angry, just expressing what she's thinking..haha..i din expect i got such image in them...wow...haha..it pretty 'fresh' for me for letting them to have a thought that i m such student..haha...

probably they dont know who i really am...

i have been low profile enough in this school huh..haha

if i really become a newsreader in 988, if i manage to get into cardiff....then, probably they will be shocked when they know this..haha

so, i can use this as a motivation to make me study and work hard!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah, today, while waiting bus, i bumped into ern hui, who is living nearby my house and she is recently enrolled in my school A-level program...haiz...today the bus really get here late...shit..we late to class...as we on the bus, we as well bumped into wernsheng's sister in kuchai lama station..haha..then, when we reached the station, opposite Brickfields monorail station, i walked a little bit faster than them as they can not bothering to enter class but i cant! i am having Land Law while they are having only Malaysian Studies...

later i turned around and i saw them talking to a girl, caucasian..they seems to need my help...i walk backward and found out actually the girl is asking how to get to KLCC by LRT, is there any 'JAYA line'..i told her the correct way as what i know, of course, with some so called 'accent'..then settled..the two young girls seems amazed with my english...they said never thought my english is so good plus with the accent somemore, wernsheng's sister said that she gotta ask her brother after get back home if he knows my english is so good, and with accent...haha..well, i told them actually i m not good in that...english and accent i mean, i cant speak a proper accent with good english...just pretending to be one..i can even speak in so called 'taiwanese' accent as well if they want...haha...

anyway, one of them thinks the girl was pretty one of them think she's look just ok... i asked them where they think the girl came from...they said probably somewhere like Spain..yeh, i think so, somewhere in Europe...i should asked her where she came from or even bring her to the station till she got the ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!haha

while waiting bus for home after class, i saw two interesting guys...both Malay...one is a security guard for HongLeong Bank beside Brickfields monarail station, and a student of Form 4 i suppose(from the books he is holding) from the school in the nearby area...=)

ok..this is my story for today...

Kris Allen coming to town! but the problem is this time hitz.fm wil requies us to sms in but not called in, and they speak too fast, i cant get the corerct word n number to text in...haiz...can i meet Kris in KL? if i do, wow, i really dont expect i can meet him in real person plus in KL! by the way, he just reminds me of a male German actor, he look so alike...anyway, if i cant, its okay, if i really will stay in US/ UK/ Germany someday in the future (i hope its really not a far far dream for me from now), then the chance of me getting meet with him even higher...afterall US, UK or Germany even Japan, China, Korea even Singapore...will be more frequent are to visit by Hollywood artist, at least comapred to Malaysia..haha

yeah, i watched again the NTV7 monday till wednesday 11pm-12am show, Hong Kong TV series..named 学警出更...as i mentioned before in earlier post, two of the yong main character having quarrel...it really just remind me what i had with jennyu when we were in Form 5..haha..twice summore.......anyway, the story and the personality of both of them really looks soooooooo similar to us last time...

uhm..i saw facebook, jiayu editted her sweet picture with jennyu and asked us to vote for her for some form of contest...........it reminds me, or it makes me think of someone i really fallen into...but i m really unsure............H? 'the person'?Germany/ US artists? Idol? or the person i fallen before n i seems to falling towards again recently (pleeeeeeeeeease dont happen!!!)? haiz..

anyway, all the person i have mentioned above...we are just not meant to be...

this life is not always what it seems.....

today and 'avatar'

1/2/2010 1 : 48am

well, the same word i have to say...time flies..its already one month passed in 2010..february now...

1/2 is public holiday for KL anyway...federal territory day...

anyway, what i m telling now, its all happened in 31/1/2010, sunday.

as what promised, i watched movie with sheauyeong today...

i went to MV to get ticket, with the hope i can get a good seat...but who knows, avatar 3D was sold out even for today and tomorrow...gosh! so i asked for normal avatar 2D...uhm..still...left all the front seat..there are still 2 couple seat left, n yeah, couple seat will only be at the the back, nice spot..uhm..looking at all the seat in front that left, the people in the counter suggest me to buy a couple seat, since i m buying 2 tickets...(she din know i m watching with boy or girl anyway, she din ask)..so, thinking of get a good place for this long movie, i took one of the couple seat...ya, extra RM2 for each person...so i paid RM26 since a ticket is RM11 per person for weekend...anyway, compared to 3D, mayb i got to pay each person RM18.50...but...haiz..cant watch 3D as many people told the graphic is nice..

i went there with my cousin actually...he wana buy some clothes for CNY..so i asked him to hang around first while i go n get my tickets....n after that, i just accompany him shopping around..bumped in to my manager, n phooifun manday..haha..n liching called me as well, for her brunch, its ady 4pm that time==..after bumped in to phooifun mandy, i chat with them for pretty long time, probably my cousin couldnt stand it, he text me saying he go n resume his shopping..so, since he walk himself, then i just hang around with mandy phooifun..haha..ya, manday told me avatar 2D will be better if v cant really listen to what the actors are saying in the movie as 3D dont have subtitle..so, haha...at least i feel more comfortable by not getting 3D n watching 2D..haha

uhm..about 5pm...each of us gotta get back at that time..so, i brought my cousin to salon since i wana cut my hair today, before february, by hoping they have not raise the price yet for CNY, as its ady normal that happening in KL...so, brought him to Insett, OUG...uhm..the hair stylish this time, tell me something about my hair, as my skull shape is a bit awkward, so he told me the way to style my hair n how is she going to cut my hair in order to avoid me looking 'awkward' because of my skull shape..actually, if i went to Insett, usually the hairstylish over there will tell me sth about my hair, the style n style a consider new hairstyle for me ( as i always give them freedom to style..haha), just i always forget it...hopefully this time i can remember it...

then later, i went home n have dinner with my family as i will meet sy only at 8.30pm. on the way to MV, swt, on the old klang road, bumped in to maychin n her bf=.=n they are going MV as well...i thought we will meet there n chat..i followed them all the way to the same parking lots..but v go our own way, no choice, when searching parking...

n finally, after rushing there, met sy, (she later than me, even after i went to toilet..haha)then its almost 9pm, the showtime,anyway, i still decided to buy some popcorns..hehe...while in queue, v chat, sheauyeong told me nicholas teo went to the starbucks, the branch she worked today, n her senior told her he is regular customer there, n she saw amber chia n a astro host before as well..haha..but today, she cant recognise that's nicholas teo even she served him and even chat a while with him=.=
uhm..ya, i told her about my 988's job...just telling her and ask her to not to tell anyone, cz eveything is not confirmed yet.....she is the only one, among all who knows about it, that i say it out voluntarily...uhm..anyway, gotta pray hard in order to make it real, i mean working in 988 for real=)

uhm...so, after getting the popcorn...(sheauyeong insisted wana give me back the money for movie, then i asked her to pay for those snacks since she so insisted on it..haha)its abit late..9pm ++ ady..v get into the cinema...so swt swt swt...v enterrd into a wrong hall, the hall beside only is the correct wan...when v get in, v saw nothing on screen as it suppose to start, n our place was sitten by somebosy else...finally, sy asked a person there are we in the correct hall...swt swt swt...v got the wrong wan, so v get down n get inside to the hall beside, the correct wan..swt la..how can i make this such stupid mistake ah?><

so, although v went in late for about 10minutes, the movie ady started><..haiz..anyway, so, v get onto our seat...yeah, probbaly its first time for me to sit on couple seat with somebody that not actually coupling with me=.=anyway, i asked sy when i first met her just now, did she mind i getting couple seat due to lack of good seat in there...then she just answerd:'its ok ah.' without thinking..luckily..haha

so, the show is about 2 hour n 45 minutes....i sent her home of course...i thinked is already 12.15am++ by the time she reach home...yeah, v discussing about wat time v can watch woohoo as well...and, tml is WPKL public holiday, so watching mocie in sunway, one utama n the curve that located in selangor still will be a cheaper price, even parking..wakaka..but who gotta go with me==summore probably tml gotta help my mum with packaging again..haiz..cant enjoy that i think...

ya, she told me she read the newspaper that the CNY design in the curve is great..uhm..maybe just get a date to bring her day^^n..haha...v have some thought, probably this year MV designer got changed, cz the design this year is just so different from previous, even for christmas or CNY..but the design for CNY n christmas this year just look similar in style..n i got heard some negative comment (eg not really attractive like previous year) about it even for CNY and Christmas..anyway..just a topic for chatting n i prefer this few design recently=)

yeah..and....i told her Kris Allen is coming to KL as i heard from hitz.fm..she sounds interested in it...uhm..mayb let me try to get the ticket..since i feel like going to..never thought of i can meet Kris Allen here in KL one day...so, a great oppurtunity...mayb try to call in to hitz.fm again as what i did for AAR ?haha...duno..if i really do..hopefully i can be as lucky as last time...

speaking about that, it reminds me, when i tried to call in, which the announcer said its the last chance n AAR were there in studio, i tell the God, whoever he is, if i really can call in, means i can get together with H...since both is just so impossible( i used my cell phone to call that time, even harder)...and i will always related H to AAR and is H the one who introduce AAR to me...finally, i got AAR ticket n speak to Tyson (as what i mentioned in few post back)...but...i dont semms can get together with H...

and, is now H or the person i mentioned for me? US n German artist n Idol? uhm..i get over it for those artist, not totally, at least a lot...i m still trying to let it go, totally...one day.........

and, back to the movie, yeah, avatar, is a great movie....really great...i mean the story line..and those computer effect, i think they spent pretty much on it..thats y people said its better for 3D..anyway, its great movie..probably try to get a copy of it...

n i heard on radio one day, after watching avatar, many were so obssesed with it( how kind is the Nami people and the how beautiful is the planet) , even some suicided cause they just hate the attitude of human being now and hopefully they can find a great planet as in the movie@@ crazy huh...

and, i wonder, the 'Nami' language in the movie...they created by themself? or it really does exist? but how?

one more, i wonder, why everyone in malaysia pronounce the word 'avatar' as 'a-va-tar'? its just like u pronounce it in malay but tis word doesnt exist in malay...instead, i have checked, doesnt matter its US or UK, its also 'a-ve-tar'...i wonder what other people form other country will think about our english level when they heard ow we pronounce the word..even how many times the actor said the word in the movie, its still 'a-va-tar' for malaysian..funny huh....?
so now, pray hard for 988's work, my assignment, my study.

so, pray hard now, for my 988's job, my assignment, my study....n get a date to bring sy to the curve, try to get Kris Allen live in KL's ticket, and get a day to watch woohoo!!!!


of course, gotta buy new clothes and shoes as well for CNY ...yeah, before leaving to UK, gotta buy a new laptop(sony vaio?HP?my only 2 choices, what i prefer) and, get a external hard disk as well...


gosh..then i m getting poor now.....T.T

today

30/1/2010 11.22pm


today, saturday, public holiday n later on monday, another public holiday..haha

today is kennji's birthday, yeah, text him yesterday late night..he said he is not celebrating since he is working..but i think her gf will at least give him some suprise..n me n meiwan decided to buy a wallet for him..meiwan online shopping in US and later ship it here to malaysia so that i can hand it to kennji;)

ok,today, originally have a plan to watch movie at night..but seems have to be cancelled since huixin ady watched the movie v plan to go and jennyu cant..so, cancelled.probably make it in coming few days...

woke up in the afternoon.after 'brunch', helping my mum to do her packaging work..haha..ee li, my xueji fren text me..she asked me where i am..i thought she saw somebody look like me in somewhere else..so, i told her i m at home..haha.then she called to me and say that she is in her aunt house which is nearby my house, so can she come and kacau me? i definitely say yes, so sick doing those packaging huh..wakaka...then after few tele-conversation, i decided to lead her by driving to BHP gas station nearby since she just cant get here after few times v on phone...

originally, she came n v planned for movie..but she afraid she just bring me away like this while i actually have to help in the packaging...so i just asked her to help a bit before v go if she feel guilty.then she really went to help...after v settled, when v plan to go, my mum said she need me to buy sweets for packaging from cheras...my gosh..then ee li offer herslef to drive us there..then she really did drive us the all the way to cheras..then after getting back home with sweets, v plan to go..n..my mum asked me when i m coming back...then ee li came to know actually my mum still need my help to do the packaging, she just said come on, lets finish it! gosh, she carry all the box n ready for packaging although how dun willing i am...

finally, v finished those another packaging again...but at the end...v decided not to go for anywhere...ee li feel like going home cz she felt sleepy n tml she still have a horse riding class. so, v din go anywhere at the end...v plan to go 5.30pm's show, failed due to the buying sweets in cheras, then v planned for 8pm show...failed again due to the second packaging...anyway, as conclusion....really gotta thank ee li sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much as v couldnt finish it so fast n even hv to start packaging again at nite (and my sis going out at nite) without her....really thanks a lot.....she came to my house originally i thought at least v can go somewhere later but end up with she helping us....n at last i wana treat her a meal at least, she just is still the kind...the kind of person with a kind and generous heart..she din ask about anything...and, she is so determinate...staright say no, then go home even i call her to say i buy her a meal, she can just no need no need n hang up...what a girl....

she is leaving to australia on 9/2/2010...so, her CNY will be celebrating there...i knew her since 2004 after our xueji camp...still, 2007 v still meet and that time she was working at genting while i came back from NS and working in a legal firm...v went to secret recipe and she treat a most part of food i think..cz she said , money is earned for using purposes..wakak..(but she was shocked how she can acted in that way when i remind her abt this)and..v have been lost contact for a while..and last december, i met her in hui chao...i think i hv written some about her in my previous post...v hv been together saying after form 6 that v will b going to brickfields to do law...but v just lost contact later n i din see her in my current skol, brickfields asia college now..finally i met her in huichao, i got to know, she had a huge family problem bothering her and she can still stand it untill today..i really salute her what she can endure after everything she has been been through....as a girl, she, really..i duno how to describe in word...she is the only girl that i can respect soooo much ever...hopefully she can find a good life , and do whatever she wana do, achieve whatever she deserved to, after getting to australia....god bless you, my fren, ee li! and dont forget, stay connected with me always ! i will always be there when you need my help;)

and, due to i did not able to go for movie neither with jennyu them or ee li, finally,haha...i asked sheauyeong if she wana go for me (cz i wana watch the show so badly n hx watched ady n duno when actually jy and mc free), if want i gotta get to cinema earlier to get a nice seat due to v cant make any reservation now...finally, ya, she replied but she said she tot tonite cancel so she went out with her family. so tml after 8pm? haha..then i said ok..i will get to MV earlier tml to get the place.then later i asked her if she interested in avatar 3D (which i n ee li plan to originally), in case i cant get ticket for the tiger woohoo ...then she replied by saying actually she feel like watching avatar either 2 or 3D than tiger woohoo..haha, then i said ok..i will try avatar 3D, then 2D before tiger woohoo...n the tiger woohoo, v will leave it to watch with jy mc together..haha..luckily i asked her, if not i really tot she wan to watch tiger woohoo more...then, now, perfect plan, can watch avatar n later if can watch tiger woohoo with others...my most preferrable plan...wheeeee=D

so..tml gotta go n get the ticket earlier so that i can get a better seat since its fully booked..n ask if jy,mc n ee leng can watch woohoo on tues nite=)

pray hard again.....

28/1/2010 2.00am

finally..i took the step to change my facebook's profile picture..just i found some ppl i duno added me as friend..just afraid that they misunderstood i m so good looking as shown in my current profile picture, and avoid them having the thought that i m so good looking..wakaka..anyway, ya, just feel like changing it...plus many tease me about the picture huh, and said i dun wana change it cz too gud looking...so, i change...LMAO!!!

and..my tort assignment..uhm....i asked my friends..it seems like many of them din write what i din write as well...my mistake : 1)my intro 2)i din write the sentence of 'no defences can be raised....' 3) my discussion in break in the chain of causation 4) evidential gap-modifying but for test issue...gosh..this four totally can kill my assignment by bringing my whole assignment down!!!anyway, as i mentioned, many din write wat i din write esp evidential gap issue.. probably just few of them write? but if it is, thats mean the 'few' will get higher marks but i m not one of them!haiz haiz haiz.................yes, what can i say now? pray hard...................

it just duno why....it so happened that i dreamed 'the person' last night...and that point onwards...i just missing the person whole day, nope, its not H....anyway, i dunwan the crush feeling towards someone i stand no chance to haunt me again....my life is much better without that..please dun chase after me again..i mean that fallen into someone thats impossible....

speaking about crush feeling..really glad, i m still able to endure....i din watch the Germany show anymore, at least for now..ahha..thus, watever German and US artist or the Idol...finally i can get over it!!!i admit that i did have some still....at least, i wont miss them as much as what i did previously as that enough to kill me last time...so..hopefully this crush feeling towards them can totally gone off one day;) pray hard...again....><

and..uhm...47 fans only for the 3+3 fanpage..gotta work hard on it...just now i saw one of us comment there..i m not sure who it is..probably is jiayu..anyway, i hv no clue if they kno actually they are also admin and they will having the same picture as me if they leave comment...uhm..it semms that i gotta tell them next time mention who are they when leaving comment as 6 of us shared a same picture..and ask them to leave comment that sounds like admin as well..hahahah

although i din go out with jennyu few days back...but i just feel happy when i think of he became so friendly now...or in other word...matured...haha...i m watching a show recently, ntv 7 monday till wednesday 11pm...its a police story...one of the main part of the story is saying 2 young polices (main character in the show) had a big quarrel/fight for a loooooong time due to some misunderstanding to each other that kept in heart for a long time...but, they used to be soooo friend..they start hating each other when one of them say it out straightly to the other what he dissatisfied about him that he kept in heart for times....n the other guy who actually duno he kept this in heart for so long...anyway, its hard to tell in words..but surely they are going to be sooooo friend back sooner or later in the show...what i wana tell is, it just remind me, back to high school....i did quarreled with jennyu....twice...in form 5..for wat? haha..i think its due to our different view in pengawas oso...cz v r both penolong ketua at that time..v had two 'psychology fight' as v din talk to each other for long time although v actually sit beside each other in class, v just ignore each other n seldom be at our place as v will try to chat with our others friend..when anyone absent, one of us will move.even v sit on our own place, we wont talk, or when one be there, the other will just get up, leave n chat with other friends...hahah..funny memories...twice 'psychology fight' for us...first one i think it din last long..what is serious its the second one..probbaly first wan last for about 1 month (if not mistaken) and settled by our head prefect in one of our AJK's meeting..i remembered i did cry that time, if i m not wrong, jennyu did feel like crying as well that time (he told me after that incident)..and the second one, i forgot what trigger it to happen..but it last soooooo long...few months...n i also forgot finally how v got settled..but i remembered its jennyu start talking to me first by asking me free for one night? out for yamcha..ya, that was encouraged by jiayu n maychin...ya, that time i felt so awkward n i just walked out of the class(recess time), i forgot how i answered...the one day after v get back as friend, i went to jennyu house (i think i called him n he asked me to go to his house to do revision for spm), jiayu n maychin was there, n they was shocked when they saw jennyu opening the room then followed by me...haha..ya, i remembered the scene quite well...anyway, watching at that show, listening to their conversation as what they actually felt about the quarrel when they tell their friend in the absence of another..haha...the whole situation n two of them are just so similar with us...even the characteristic that potrayed..what a coincidence huh...n i remembered as well, many of friends realise that n they are just trying to get us back together esp those close wan...(which part of them are ady 3 +3 today..., wait! 3+3 is formed in twice v quarrel i think, i not sure abt the first wan, but i think when the second wan happen, there is ady a 3+3 as we formed 3+3 in 12/3/2006, v form 5 at that time)n this is also so similar as what they show is showing..everyone so care about their relationship n trying to help them out with ways...haha...coincidence huh huh....hahaha

k..change topic....988 hasn't give me a call...n i din hasten jia rong on monday as what i did for last 2 monday...uhm...i wonder hows my result..hopefully i can pass n work over there....so..pray hard....again n again....

k..thats all for today..pray hard for my assignement, not only tort but others as well, n 988!!! gambateh!!!

days

24/1/2010 7.26pm

it has been a while, i din update here...

well, yesterday, 23/1, maychin came back from china...me n jennyu waiting her call to ask us out, she pulak waiting our call also.. (duno if its true that jiayu came back on 10/2 then we will only meet..wakaka..cz v 3 here in Kl de, will not contact each other, probbaly maychin too bz n etc, according to jiayu...haha...but maychin said jiayu said that way for reason, cz she wan us meet only when she come back..=.=)anyway, there was a plan going to her house tonite..me n jennyu..just waiting her to tell us the time (she asked us to go her hse instead of going out, cz she wana stay at home==)but she will b going her grandma house tonite....so...v'll c when...sometimes later will go her house,probably before 10/2 ba..haha...

n..shirley told me she will b back on this weekend, i told her v are actually looking something to do oso for this weekend...she got so excited to back here..n saying v plan sth to do, yumcha or else...well, she did come back, she texted me on sat morning that she ady in KL, but i hv class...n now is sunday evening, raining summore...looks like she come back here n v will not b meeting..but duno when is she going back..since johor sultan died, nothing to do with us actually, v certainly wont feel sad for that, but mayb shirley will feel happy instead if there is a holiday!!!wakaka...

uhm..what else is notable for past few days....ya..recently, jennyu was so unusually abnormal in my very personal view...haha..he joined me in 'power ranger' topic when i was sick n msn him, jiayu n lifang telling them how suffered i m, sick but hv to rush assignment..(since its so hard to get so many of us online at once..)and, he asked me, hx n sy to watch movie together with him..(apparently cz others watched liao, so he ask us lo..wakaka...n he wana get my confirmation first before asking sy n hx,tats what he told me in msn when i was working...)so, tuesday nite (19/1), me, him, sy n hx went to watch sherlock holmes...me and him shared a popcorn while the other two shared one as well....swt..i just keep on laughing at the beginning and he just keep on eating the popcorn..in the middle of the movie, when the popcorn did not left much, he asked whther do i still want to eat, i thought he is enough of it then i just take the popcorn from him and ask him is he wnough? he answered, no, actually is he wants and its not enough, he just checking do i still want, if not, he can have it all....swt....anyway,ow..the movie is actually got to do with UK judges n parliament..wakaka...then, thursday(21/1) nite, he asked me to lunch together on friday..so, v went mcdonald with ee leng...recently he will just msn me first, it happens few times, as usually he never did it before previously...ahha....he said he gotta enjoy the days n time in malaysia...well, anyway, at least he wont so emo like before, i hv to check out his mood everytime i meet him so that i can act according to his mood><..haha...he happy, i happy..great to see this jennyu...

finally handed up all the assignment on tuesday..tats y i got mood to go n watch movie..haha..well, my last minute attitude seems face some problem in this time...this year our asssignment was given out earlier compared to last year..n gotta hand it up week after week, back to back...so, 1st assignent still ok..my fren even came to my hse n asked for my help, i still b able to help...just finish on the day of due, by finishing the last sentence in the skol, without knowing what i hv written, brought my laptop to skol tats y...when i was rushing my 2nd assignment..i felt sick..gosh..its trust summore..so confusing n bulky..haiz...well, finally, endured evrything..got to hand up on time, at least din finish the last line at skol as what i did for the first one, but same, i hv no idea what i wrote..then tort...shit! i handed up on tuesday, but after saturday class, i found out i made 3 HUGE mistake in the assignment..my view was just so different from others..well, if its just outstanding, its okay..but now i think is a mistake of law, not my view is outstanding...SHIT!3 mistake!!!i shouldnt hv attended saturday class then..due to our skol system is, v will only hv 1 assignment per subject through out the year, but all are ASSESSABLE! each carries 25 marks!!! gosh!!!i m really freaking worried now...this year assignment,it really suckz i suppose...cz last year i can mostly do it on my own..but this year, haiz..i asked for help..some info i got did help..but u know, everyone will not b helpful if it comes to marks n exams...i gotta struggle it out myself without any knowledge of the subject...unlike last year at least i know whats the subject about...only asked for help for my first ever assignemnt cz still blur abt how is the way of doing assignement...so...now...what hv done is done....just please.....pray hard that i can get thru all these, all three assignment...esp tort with 3 big mistake...plz..watever God up there..just please help me out on this...i just hope that i can get the marks about the same as what i got for last year...

uhm..here...last n this wednesday...i went to 988 for the 'audition'(i suppose what its called)...uhm..first time i din do it well, cz i hv to read looong passage n i hadnt fully recover from my fever n sorethroat..so everytime i almost finish it, my voice turns phlegmy n i gotta re-record it...i took abt 1 n half hour to finish it i think...but at last, it doesnt satisfying me n jia rong..according to jia rong, i like gasping n my tones sounds so flat..so, i redo it on this past wednesday...this time i still got a little bit of coughing n phlegm in my throat..as usual, i took 1 hour ++ to finish recording i think..so...hopefully this time i did it well...still waiting for jia rong's reply about this....i only came to know that jiarong only asked 2 person to do this recording, one is me, n the another one is who i knew, used to worked in The Voice n now currently working in 988...first time i did, when i lunched with jiarong, mengqiang n the girl..mengqiang n jiarong said probably they will ask me to do interview with others if there are interview from 988 to others, n both of them asked my skol timetable...but anyway they said they will listen to my recording first..n this time, even i go for 2nd time, jiarong still asking me abt the time i free...u kno whats that mean? well,haha, i think i hv thought to much...just hope that i can satisfy them for my 2nd recording..uhm..waiting their reply on this..hopefully can get the reply next week...due to this, i skipped trust class for two weeks consecutively...haha

ya, one more thing, last one...i created 3 + 3 fanpage on facebook...i officially published it on 20th nite or 21th morning..i din remember the time precisely, just remembered i started working on it on wednesday nite..n published it either on wednesday nite or late nite of wed, which means thursday morning...uhm..i checked on thursday nite..after a day, v got 22 fans...then till now, 42 fans i think...hopefully it will grows..bigger n bigger..hehe...well, i gotta come out with sth to make this fanpage be expanded..keep all the fans updated, increase the interaction...only the page can get more fans..probably upload video abt us?eg recently wan or what v took previously( once we took in jiaxi's swimming ppol that v foolong around, before lifang leave for UK, i think when v was lower 6 i think..or upper 6..) or photo, without editting? or just video abt v talking abt our memonry? etc etc....gotta discuss with 5 others oso..hehe

uhm..well....H..i went out with H...few weeks back..that H called me saying wana go out..i kno H called only cz wana get someone to drive to makan...but, i kno the motive, not wanting to see me, only cant get someone n bored so get to me...anyway, its weird, i will still go n pick H up even after H said no mood going out ady...n i just text H again, by not giving the choice, n saying i m on the way to H house, since it so happen that i wana go out for buying sth for my mum..well, my mum din kno i met H..cz she will surely said sth about that...n, ya, long time no see after spm...H changed a lot...haiz..hopefully wont turn bad...but that day, i wonder, yes, i did still has feeling towards H,but not as strong as last time...n..tuesday when i went for movie, i asked H to come out for movie or sth to do in this weekend...but at the end....i din take the initiative move to make the call to H..so, din go out with H as what i want (but not badly) for this weekend...

anyway, H? that person that i used to said in my few previous post? or....someone else? or just no one?

n, German US artist..yes! glad to say that, now finally i can endure not to watch those show...thus, not crushing them so much now...but still a few, there are....if i start watching them again, even in picture, ya, they are so seductive that i coudnt resist n i will definitely start the silly feeling again..so...just endure as much n as long as i can....this will make my life better^^

so..pray hard!!!for everything.....marks for assignments, jobs in 988, fans in 3+3 fanpage n etc etc..haha...so....


pray hard!!!


thats all what i did, that i think i shoud noted it down..for past few days/weeks...;)

wow! pray hard!

6/1/2010 11.07pm


wow! gotta pray hard!

this is the only word i can describe myself today..

today morning..precisely 5am ++, almost 6am, i had only started completeing my land assigment...i had write some few days before..just duno y...my brain not functioning till last minute, or in other word, my hand wont start typing, even start, wont last long till last minute...so, although slept at 2.30am, i din do much..only started seriously at after i woke up at 5am++....but this time really suckz..i hv no idea what i m writing abt compared to last year!!!!really in a deep shit....i stopped typing at around 8.40am..get ready n wait for the bus and estimated i can reach skol at 9.30pm...haiz..probably i miss the 9am bus, but i suppose to get 9.30am on time...but malaysia boleh....i reached skol at around 10.10am...n start typing again after 5 minutes i reached skol...gosh..really nervous that time..afraid i cant finish n pass up on time....while typing the last paragraph about unregistered land, gosh!whats that!i really hv no clue what i mtyping then..its already no time to ask ppl around abt that, plus as my fren said, BAC student was so selfish, they wont teach u even they kno...(i m not sure abt this)..so, just type watever i kno...but i really din kno abt anything!!!! just crap there....and manage to pass up few minutes before 11am(11am 1/6 is time due for this assignment.)really just few minutes before 11am! gan jiong....so now, nth much can be done now..what hv done is done....pray hard for my land assignemnt, nope, its every assignment!!! haiz, gotta rush trust n tort now..former due on next tues and later due on next next tues..n viva summore in february....luckily i got february actually....if not i m dead , for last minute person like me..

then, today lunch time, 12pm..duno y the teacher release us half an hour earlier for tutorial..so v hv 1 hour lunch break as usually v only had half an hour...while eating, i received a phone call, just number, no name on it,tats mean its someone i dunno...i answered it. man!guess who! its chen jia rong, one of my teacher for my class in voice academy last time n 8tv news anchor and recently just working in 988 as well.(not sure what post is him, but i kno its quite high.)u kno wat! he first ask me m i studying or wat..then he told me 988 is looking part time news reader, so he just try to call up to those his previous student that he think got potential or suitable for that part time job..n he asking me can i work as that? wow! i din even try to imagine i got this oppurtunity one day...after he taught me actually how to get to 988(not in one U, thats tv3 n 8tv), n i just 'sampat' with him which i think i talked a lot nonsense...then he said he will call me uo later to ararnge the to time n details..i m not sure its go for interview first or wat..anyway, its a great exploration for me...i thinked before that one day i can become part time news anchor besides working as full time lawyer in the future(if i din get to stay in US/UK), but i know it's hard..but now, if i really work in 988 as news reader, although part time, but its a great step for me n a advantage for me when go for interview next time! anyway how, he havnt confirm eveything yet to me, he just try to ask can i do that n he will call me confirm with me all the details everything..(before hang up, he asked me dun b too happy n cant sleep tonite=.=)..due to he havnt really confirm yet, i din tell anyone, just my college fren may know as they having lunch with me when i answered the phone call..i dont paln to tell anyone yet, including family n close fren, n i did ask my college fren not to tell, cz everything still not really sure yet...so, now, again, pray hard that i can get this golden oppurtunity^^

n today my fren, who know ant my 'secret' as mentioned earlier, he dreamed for an i-phone for a loooooooooooooong time...he told me the way to use the law of attraction when i discussed this topic with him during he at my house doing assignment last few days, cz he said his fren said that n its really does work! n today he told me actually he didnt really believe in it while i ask him use tis law to get the i phone...but who knows, finally, he today got the good news that iphone will only cost rm1009 when u sign a 2 year contract with maxis n monthly bill is rm250.anyway, he was thinking to persuade his mum to use the rm250 monthly so that he can buy the iphone with rm1009...during class, he was struggling to call his mum all the time after he knew this good news...finally after class, he called his mum. his mum din answer at the first time he called. n after i got onto bus, he called me n said he can get the i-phone! his mum said yes to him!wow!what he dreamed for finally happened!haha..he was so happy..well, i cant experience how happy he is cz i duno exactly the feeling...probably if one day i get a thing i realy really dream it for so badly, i will know exactly what he felt today...anyway, i said to him, gotta believe in law of attraction, because it does work! what he taught me: think abt it, believe in it, n try to use action to achieve it(make the dream real), then, this law will work....so, he did all this, he told me he had thought abt he is playing with iphone everynight..n i saw he really did sth to get the iphone like getting the info, get the courage to call his mum etc....so, gotta believe it!! law of attraction really exist! mayb its coincidence this time, but, this is the only way i can comfort myself n motivate myself when sth i dreamed for really didnt work...so , hopefully law of attarction really does exist n does work, for me as well!

so, believe it ! one day! i will stay in LA, CA, USA! and, one day! i will visit Cologne, Germany n meet my favourite artist! one day! i will be with the perosn i want to be with....

wow!