confused

10/2/2010 12.43am

ok...this is actually nothing important post...

just few things, monday, kris allen coming to KL..uhm..he will be first giving autograph in center court MV at around 5-6pm, then move to Gardens Ball Room to performance at 8pm, who only can get in with the passes you won from hitz.fm...and then, he will meet a(or a few? i m not sure) who won a 'meet and greet' passes from hitz.fm only from JJ and Ean session, probably at the back stage...

haiz, sadly, i couldnt attend even one...

i was working that day...at almost 6pm, wai hong called and i accidently hang up his phone and then right after that jennyu called. swt..the point he calling is to tell me he saw my idol, i thought who is my idol, he said kris allen....then jiayu shouting beside and get excited over the phone as well=.=haiz, so pity that i can't go..so just ask them to take as many picture as possible to fill up my dissapointment..yeah, my another facebook friend will upload some of that picture as well..but all that is only for autographing session, they cant go into the following events..haiz...really pity, never thought i can meet him in KL, means never thought he will come down here..then actually i can get his autograph, just get his CD then line up with all those crazy fans together..but, i was working and i didnt know there is a autograph session until 4pm ++ =.=

that day,wow, i listen to his song from the radio for times man..just repeating the only song 'Live like We're Dying'..gosh..start getting sick of it..morning i drive to work, he will be in radio soon and the announcer promoting it, then the songs repeated for twice, i got to office, colleauge tuned in to hitz.fm, i cant hear his voice (he is interviewed by JJ and Ean)inside the radio but only the song that repeated few times...then when i get home, his song again...gosh....cant they play another song? i believe he not only singing this...=.=

then at night, after tuition, me, jiayu and jennyu went to maychin house to discuss about the plan for lifang's birthday...i m the one who reach there, even maychin not home yet=.= then v called jiaxi as well using loudspeaker, asking for the time that he will be free after getting back to KL from sarawak..swt..he is still the same, i asked him why dont use his D Campus to call to maychin house's handphone (cz v called him using that phone earlier then he said he will come back to us in 5 minutes), its cheaper anyway.. then he said he still needs times to complete the duration required in order to get free call, then he said its okay to spend the calling money, (he is using his number to call us, not his Digi campus)he said 3+3's (wow, he know all of us there, at least he know is 3+3 there, yeah, fine, cz v turning the loudspeaker on, v speaking after another back to back, v din tell him who r v but he surely can recognise our voice)value can't be measured by using money..yeah yeah yeah....he still the same jx we know..haha..keep on 'zha' us..yeaah, but touching though when this sentence come out although it came out frequently from him..haha...by the way, the wireless phone in maychin house, not handphone, the loudspeaker system is much more better than any other cell phone...!

uhm...so,i still watching the hong kong series just now...probably its a crush show for me currently instead the German and US show since i force myself not to watch it anymore...just dunno y this hongkong series will capture my heart, i first captured probably by the quarrel between two young man since its similar to me n jennyu story few years back..now the love story inside i felt interesting as well....=.= yeah, i told jennyu about the similarities, i keep on repeating it since the topic just cut off few times without finishing when somebody interrupted..haha, finally before he leave i tell him again about this and i say i will tell him how similar v are and the similarities between the story and personality of us and the two young man inside..he doesnt seems to refuse to hear...haha..so, will tell him by bringing up this topic in the next time v meet...yeah, by the way, he said v watched the whole show cz when he first saw this series on TV he found interesting and watch it all in PPStream..but he said not he almost forget the story when i tell him i m going to tell him the similaritites the next time v meet before he n jiayu is leaving maychin house..haha

yeah, he texted me just now, i mean 9/2/2010 9pm++ to ask me if i wana go his house to chat..i saw it only at 11pm++ when i start watching the show..its too late i know..haha..so i didnt reply him anything...probably jiayu maychin there as well, but i thought the two is bz for their own family stuff for today and maychin will bz for the whole day for wednesday..thats why v di use this few days to record the video for lifang and thus v just decide to wait until jx is back here which is friday...even thursday i m bz oso..so gotta wait till friday anyway when all our CNY break start=)..haha.....watever, just ask them whats all about for the nite (9/2/2010) , means what did they chat, who were there why suddenly got mood to ask me go over and chat, i thought they are all bz and so on when v meet next time..wakaka...

yeah, the topic, 'confuse', yeah, i m confuse now......why? sigh.....i knew i talked about H, about 'the person', abt German US artist and Idol...and now probably Hong Kong artist (from the show precisely)but...shit! it seems to be another person coming into my mind and keep on obsessing me again.......shit! i confuse who i really want to be with now? no, precisely, who i fallen into now? and the person, is the person who i fallen for before and i thought its all over but the feeling seems to be coming back again...don't!!!pleeeeeeeeease.....i know thats impossible....thats why i tried, i really did try my very best to get rid of the feeling which haunted me since form4...i did it successfully but now..................please don't.....and you, if you know who u are, please dont be so close to me, please, otherwise it will happen again.....i m trying my very best to avoid seeing you, avoid having the feeling back on you, avoid missing you, avoid doing something stupid for you, avoid being hurt again and again when you are so close with the one u having now, avoid keep on thinking of you.............please...............

and, H? 'the person'? those countries artist? or wat............or.......................u? argh........................

confused....

but i rather to get confused than being sure the one i want but knowing its impossible.....

at least confused, i willl never have too strong feeling to anyone.....