別放棄！

I was once told, you can when you believe; give up when you stop believing.

So, do not give up, because you never know when you'll get there, it might be just one step more and that's all you need.

你永遠不知道你已多接近成功了，別輕言放棄！

You never know how close you are, do not give up on your dream and hope!!!
Do not blame anything! If you want it bad enough, you'll do whatever it takes to reach your goal!!!

大年初一

这几天时间表都很紧迫，睡也没有睡好。

从west dean weekend 回来，第二天一早又要去上课，好想尽快回家给家人打电话，自己又傻傻地不知道volunteer了什么，懵懵懂懂得去开会了好几个小时。在学校也只可以不断翻check Facebook，看他们有没有上网。

买了一天和这一年里第一份也是今天唯一一份的午/晚餐，飞奔回家，只为了趁大马时间还早然后打回家。

有听我妈发牢骚了一下，说大年初一都没有说声恭喜发财。我知道她其实也只是在生气干嘛我没有给他们拨电话。

其实时差的关系，我已经很快尽快最早，一回到房里，连饿得半死的肚子也没理，第一件事就是开Skype了。

今年没有好像去年那么热闹，他们也很忙，我在weekend忙完了到他们，所以始终还是没有看到全家人。

他们说第二天要赶去泰国玩，很早会起身，所以不管自己有多累，小睡也不敢睡太熟，不断醒来看Skype有没有missed call。

其实我知道，我比他们还要想自己回去。

大年初一，他们依旧一整天开档口做生意，第三期学费又要到期了，一直都不好意思跟他们说，所以拖到现在。

这两年我花的，比他们几年花的还要多。

感觉到他们的压力，他们也觉得好像我不停地需要钱。

所以一直以来，就算我银行户口剩下不多钱，如果不是逼不得已，我都没有跟他们要生活费。

今天也一样，笑笑地跟他们说这是最后一次。可是我知道，生活费好像不够了。

我不知道该怎样，没关系，希望我会有办法。

路，还是要走下去的。

自己二十三了，该自己去解决。

家人为自己挨了很久了，是时候赶快想办法角色转换了。

每年大年初一得开档的日子，也是时候该结束。

壬辰年龙年2012

龙年大年初一。

第二次在外国自己过新年了。

刚从Lincoln's Inn Residential Weekend 回来，听了很多很多跟我未来要怎么走有关的话。

有好的，也有不好的。

其实有时真的很矛盾，不知道是自卑，还是接受现实。时间越久，遇到的人越多，就好像越发觉自己要在这里实习是几乎不可能。就算有可能，也得等到好几年后，因为，我落后他们太多太多了。

得适应他们的生活，他们的想法，还有他们的系统。有时候有一些还是发现的不够早。

其实很多国际学生根本就不用好像我那样烦恼那么多，他们从一开始就是想衣锦还乡，根本不喜欢留在一个不属于自己的国家。

而我，却就是那么犯贱。

在这个weekend里，就还想只有我一个国际学生到处努力去融入他们。为的只希望找到一些有用的意见，或者可以建造和打好关系。

就算明知道自己要留下十不可能，就算明知道他们其实也不是那么在乎你，你又不是Oxbridge First Class。

好多大马人都说，在这里遇到很多排挤，歧视。

在weekend,在学校。

我不知道我自己有没有，也许是我接受现实，然后自己努力地去融入，就算不容易。

这里毕竟是他们的地方，他们有权利完全不理会你，敷衍你已经不错了。

我朋友说我好傻，到处去问，他们又不会真心理睬你，也帮不到你，自己却好像一个傻傻没有能力的小鱼在河里到处钻，希望有人可以把自己带到去海洋。

两年来一直厚着脸皮去参加大大小小外国学生根本无心理睬甚至退避三舍的活动和比赛。很多时候，自己是出现的唯一亚洲人，自己一个人，本地人根本就没有把你放在眼里，自己又傻傻尽量地去主动，就算多难堪，多尴尬。

有时我也觉得自己很白痴，明知道有很多东西是不可能的，我还是那么地坚持。

朋友问我，到处问人，到处去跟那些洋人沟通，最后真的会得到什么吗。他们最多也不是随便敷衍你。举办的讲座，大多数也是对他们自己的人比较实用，对一般外国学生根本就是浪费时间，又或者，他们根本就还有很多外国学生的疑问是本有办法也没有能力甚至没有这方面的知识去解决的。

甚至在里头，有些有经验的人开门见山直接了当的告诉我，放弃吧，没有可能的。

甚至在里头，发现自己的CV，Legal experience, 还有很多很多，根本就不够根本地人比，毕竟他们在这里长大，提早知道很多，做事也很放便。

我很累，很想就好像别人说的接受事实然后放弃，可是那口气就是吞不下去。我要留下，真的有那么难吗？

我有往好的方面想，不停告诉自己要努力，虽然可能需要更多的时间 。就算再多人说不可能，就算被再多人取笑，还是后者脸皮到处问人找机会。

可是有时停下来，还是会一直在怀疑自己，这个险，值得冒吗。

我不知道我自己还可以坚持多久，我也不知道自己会不会真的就这样放弃。

我不懂。

龙年大年初一，下个星期第一个考试。

刘祖康，加油吧！船到桥头自然直的。

1.When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.

2. If you can dream it, you can do it.

3.I do it because i can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't.

4. Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

5. I am Thankful :

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

还有更多更多： http://www.boardofwisdom.com/default.asp?listname=Inspirational&topic=1005

http://www.boardofwisdom.com/default.asp

我相信，人善天不欺。

凡是想好的，做好的。

我要相信自己，相信奇迹。

我是可以的。

农历新年快乐！！！

不要怕，孩子！

Do not ever jump to the conclusion that it was because of discrimination if you got turned down in anything, any job, in anyway, while you are overseas, it does not and will not bring you anywhere. Rather, it was because you aren't good enough, work hard, and harder. You might get something out of your expectation from there, you never know, we are just human waiting, hoping and believing in miracle after all:D 没有什么歧视不歧视的，失败就爬起来，承认自己不够人家好，总比怨天尤人，来得实际，实在。失败，其实只是变相的贵人。

一切从简，生活会不会比较快乐？：D

Blogger you are annoying!

Blogger system is just so stupid.

It takes forever and yet it still impossible to change or edit the post.

And, so many flaws in the system!

URGH.

You are annoying, you know that?

I wonder, how to delete a post?

And, how to set a particular post to private?

Dilemma

March 2012 is getting closer, the dateline for applying PSW visa so that I can extend my legal stay in UK for 2 years.

Unfortunately, I gotta say, to be frank, I have no idea yet what exactly I should and what is the right thing to do.

I'm clueless and dateline is approaching.

This is the biggest dilemma now for me in 2012.

Somehow I came across this thought:

As much as I would like to stay here and search for a better quality of life, but sometimes what people say may be very true, going back might need you to put your ego down, let your overseas dream goes, but at home, more important indeed, you will be able to spend your time with your family, especially your parents, TOGETHER, and that, could overweight everything.

As your age number is getting bigger, don't forget at the same time, theirs too.

As you are growing older, at the same time, they are, too.

其实当家长的，就算多么希望自己的孩子有再好的生活，就算不管付出多少只为了让孩子出国受更好的教育，心里都默默地盼望着有一天，孩子可以学成归来，衣锦还乡。

他们不要求多，

只是希望老来的日子有孩子在身旁陪伴就好，

就算是外国的生活素质比较好，就算孩子在外国也许可以过这更好的生活。

可是他们没有说。

因为他们同时也很希望，

孩子开心就好。

I can't make up my mind yet, seriously.

2.0.1.2

2012 already!!! I mean, in UK.

May I be blessed, and maybe, may the Mayans be wrong. LOL!

By the way, for those who have been visiting my blog to refer my BPTC application as sample, what I can say is, you do really know I hold absolute zero liability on everything that may happen following by that. You made your own choice to make mine as sample, you bear the consequences. It was not intended for that and my admission was really unusual afterall.

But still, good luck!!!

And, yes, what important for me now is, BELIEVE and LIVE POSITIVELY!!!=D

Hello 2012, like it or not, for what it's worth, for the record, you may be the last year of human being history on earth.

Whatever it is, I'll make you my year!

2012, let's get it started.