刚才

二零零九年十月十一号 凌晨两点十七分

一直犹豫着要不要写这篇。

刚才，和他在先说了话。。。至今，应该是最长的话吧。没错，是最长的。

好久没跟他说那么长的话了。

跟她谈了这么久，突然就算看那德国戏也没被那主角深深吸引着（不是完全没有），可是为什么，同时，也突然没有感觉到那种平时期待很久跟她在一起就算只是说话而已的那种幸福感。。。。。（也不是完全没有，只是没有想象中那么多）

天。。。这到底是什么。。。

刚才，应该是那美国组合的演唱会。。。
刚才，他说他没去。。。喜欢他们不一定要去。。。
刚才，我说我原本有办法的导入门票，可是问他要不要一起去时他却没回应所以我没再去找票了。。。
刚才，他说他要也可以，买他们专辑就行了。。。
刚才，他说他决定不出国读书了。因为家人朋友都在这里。
刚才，虽然是我主动跟他说话，可是他竟然主动问我东西，让我可以跟他继续谈下去。
刚才，虽然，他问我的都是关于什么forecastresult，哪间学院接受forecast等等，可是，至少，这次谈话并不是全程由我负责找话题。
刚才，他说他有新车了，虽然还没考到驾照。。。
刚才，她跟我说他的学会赚了很多钱，她跟我说他比我好（在学会方面），她跟我说他比我成功，她跟我说他跟她补习老师的班级一起去海边trip很好玩，她跟我说现在的总团长没人尊敬。。。。

我有问他明天得空吗，也许我去他家。她想了想，说不得空，等spm过后吧，反正他没出国了。他问我干嘛那么似乎没见他不可那样，我就随便说我最近很无聊。。。他说他不想见我，等spm过后吧。知道他在开玩笑，因为明天他午餐晚餐都不得空，而他也不会有早餐时间。可是我还是坚持假装无聊说明天我无论如何都会打电话给他见他。。最后他就说了：“随你吧！”

真的好久没跟他说那么多话了。刚才看见他口若悬河滔滔不绝迫不及待地一直问我东西跟我说我，那时觉得，刚才那就是以前我认识的他。在刚才，她那么的可爱。。。。








同时，也是刚才，她跟我说他要下线了，因为他的那个他已经在房里黑脸催他睡觉了。。。。

mooncake festival

4/10/2009 12:06am

no longer is mooncake festival actually..its after 12am

well..nothing special here..normal family as usual on any big days...but this time my aunt said she will b coming back today but due to his bz stuff out there..she cant make it..so probably she will only be back on november........

i saw H online, i asked...about the concert..if really i manage to get the ticket, will h coming with me...dunno if H din see my message..cz H set the status as 'away'...afterall, H din reply...

yes..like i kno ya do....i miss H...so much...i hv many many mnay things that have to write here..today some new past memory between H and me appears again on my mind...gotta write down here before i forget...though i know i won't...

but its so tired now...will update my feeling soon...probably in chinese....

eventually,i found out that this blog almost float with the names H......it just seems like i created this blog for H but actually its not...its just so happen that i hv a huge crush on H nowadays..i created for some reason and somebody else...somebody i like the most..or i regret the most...watever...i thought i like H the most???damn! what m i writing now?

i really got confused with all these feelings...

its all messed up...

man!i coudn't take it anymore..all these feeling is stranggling and btorturing me....

and most importantly....i m really really really got addicted to USA and germany...especially germany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i miss them..those actor i mean........

shit! wat a stupid act that fall in love with somebody that i extremely impossible=.=

first day in october

1/10/2009 11.20pm


dude..its october now...time flies...

raining now..drizzling outside i think..it seems i can get a good night sleep today..haha

today 1 more person found this blog..my college friend..haha..really worship n salute him. according to him, he read all those post that i wrote in chinese..he can nearly tells me all the content here..fanstatic...anyway,1 more reader here..hmmm....now look like its almost times for me to set this blog to 'private'..well, see how things go later...

yesterday n today, trust n tort teacher just release our class much earlier than usual..trust yesterday even 1 hour earlier..ha..good thing for me too..not much to study yet..though i dun think i will..haha..anyway, hopefully i can be really hardworking in year 2...rejected Cardiff...still have to set Cardiff as my ultimate goal..besides LA and Germany^^

my friend told me to listen 'when there was me and you' by vannessa hudges from HSM and study about the lyrics...he said the whole situation is just similar with me and H...

seriously?

anyway, who am i to care?

to my dearset H,
though i let myself believe that miracle could happen, i know it forever won't..

you will be my forever fairy tales, though i m always wishing it to comes true..
someday,somehow...

you know what..

sometimes,
i wish i could tell you so many things that how much i want you to know...

but i wont make my move...even one step forward...without courage...

matter now is, i m not posseing any courage...

though i let you become my fairy tales, i know i will still hope it will always comes true...too

but fairy tales will still remains.....

as a fairy tales.


found out something great for me when i going home from college at 7pm today...on the bus, i m trying to recall all those memories with H..when there was me and H...i never thought i can be so hypnotized...

keep on thinking my feeling towards H...wat will all these bring me to?

trying to pull myself together...

at the moment i stepped down from the bus, an exhausting body with an exhausting mind...

i realise, i can forget H, if i really want to...

no doubt on that...

if i really could, i would.

十月的第一天

零九年十月一号 晚上十一点十七分

零九年十月第一天的晚上
又下雨了
看来今晚上有好觉睡了
哈哈

今天发现了一个好事情，其实我可以不想他的，


只要我不想要。。。