it has been a while that i did not come here..
but this time
SHIT!it comes again...
i thought i had seriously over it.
but it really seems impossible.
i unexpectedly received H's call in the midnight after i came back from kuala selangor and working on something have not even take my shower.
H called asked me if i free to bring H out, if I have car.
yeah, i know H will only find me when in need of something.i asked:'why do u always find me when only u got something to trouble me?' H said:' if nothing, i got no point of looking for you...'
I asked if the 'thing' is urgent that i gotta bring H out right now. i asked what is the matter make H called me midnight after a few months of not contacting each other.
H have no idea to tell me what H really want. after v have a chat for a while on phone, yeah, H needs cigarattes.
amazingly, i said ok and tell H will drive to H house and bring H out after i shower.
NO ONE can ask me out after a long tired day like this in the midnight,especially with the lame reason of needing cigarrates.
before hang up, i asked H to call me again to reconfirm whether do i wana go out, but after hang up, i re-think again and again...i decided YES!!!
as expected, H called after a while, after my bathe. H asked me whether i wana out or not and i said yes!!! then, driving a car in the midnight, about 12.40am, to drive H to buy cigarattes. and before H got on car, hitz.fm playing 'the truth' by Kris Allen. i am hoping H can hear that song before the song end, but H said doesn't like kris allen.lol
i thought of going to H house after buying cigarrates, but H said afraid of our voice may wake the family up, so we went to mamak, sri petaling kinrara.
H ordered drinks and cigarrates and the guy saif the cigarrates is out of order. I am thinking is it the God is helping me, no cigarrates, so H can't smoke.
I want H to quit smoking!
H went to counter and got it.
and what is so amazing, I smoke!
maybe 1 and a half of ciggarates.
the first half is from H, H taught me.
H did not stop me instead.
then the 2nd one is i took it by myself.
i just want to try, H said i am wasting because i did not take the smoke to lung, but the feeling is killing me. so i just take it, and blow it out.
but main point, I SMOKE! the first time SMOKING experience.
unexpectedly, given to H in this unexpected midnight.
I told H that i am going to UK, I asked for the H's shirt i used to own for a while, H promise give it to me and bring it to UK.
i was joking by telling H if i miss H i will webcam with H. H said YES!!!H did not say no.
i repeated the demand few times and H did not say no.
hopefully this is right and H mean it..
anyway, to make a long story short, LOVE IS SO RIDICULOUS!
i tried smoking because of H
i realize love can be so ridiculous until making someone do what he don't usually
i can go out anytime just by a call by H, even how unwilling i am at the moment.
i realise i did not actually forget H
i did not actually not fallen for H anymore
all this because,
I love H,
or I had a huge crush on H again...
or, i did not forget H before AT ALL!
but when can i tell H the truth?
what is going to happen after i get to UK?
i really wonder..
H doesn't want me, i know, because i tests H again just now and clearly,
NO CHANCE
No comments:
Post a Comment