18/11

19/11/2009 11:26am

it's not 18/11 though..but it is a day, for SPM student to start their life-turning exam...

this few days really a weird days..i met with so called 'scratch n win' trick on last friday( when i got down from the bus), then met with a a little bit of 'mental disordered' person( when i was waiting for the bus)...

sei yi got back here on last saturday. n today, thursday gotta fetch my kelantan cousin here with her friend for them to hv a nite here=.= i think tonite i m gonna sleep on couch...

monday, finally read the post on ng joe-e blog that talking bad about me=.= she still the same...

anyway, those not the main point...yesterday, H started SPM...i text H around 2.30pm, initally i forgot about waiting the reply..when get on the bus...start thinking about it while nothing to do...
yes, i still did not get H reply on that moment. i tell myself, probably they still having exam cz apparently 18/11 got their BM, BI and Sejarah..but till the bus passed by smkss at around 4.30pm, i saw student walking out from the skol, i knew they just finished the exam..so, i m not so disspointed yet, at least.

when i reach my home, i put my cell phone aside. till 7.50pm when i start going for the tuition center. i saw 2 sms. i was happy at that time, thinking at least could be from H. u fortunately, none.there all all from the skol..

within what my expectation...till today, i got no reply from H.

i accept it n i know what my position are. i m not in the position that wanting a ppl to be with me so badly . i m not that desperate. so, move on without H!

but truth be told, i miss H.......i m lying to myself..

i thought everything is over... that stupid freaking crushing feeling that killing has gone. i thought i m over it....it doesnt matter to those US and German artist, or to H....this feeling start haunting me again....

it's a nightmare...

pray hard for me to get over these. n pray hard for H for the SPM...