Don't worry, don't think too much, DO NOT CARE!

Sometimes, people are funny.
Only when you do not get something, then you know you are desperate for it.
When you lost something, only then you know how important to appreciate it.

Note to self: You know you really wanna be a lawyer only when your Bar exam is at stake.

This is insane.

But I think I learned something through the failure this time.
I grew.

As they said,
"Don't go through life, grow through it!"

Most posts I have on Facebook, it seems to be encouraging people.
Most emails and messages transpired between me and people, it seems to be that I'm growing up.
Most thoughts I have when I get anxious, it seems that I am still standing strong.


Miraculously,
I probably learned the best way to handle stress, found the true strength to stand up when everything falls apart.

Yes I know I wanna be a lawyer, especially to practise in London, after having done so many mini-pupillages with chambers in London. It is magnificent, spectacular, remarkable and phenomenal and so inspiring in the whole legal area in London.
I know I wish to be a white collar in central London - Practising barrister in chambers in central London.
(Despite every other dreams I have - becoming a media-man, cabin crew, ultimately going to USA. I know I will find a way to balance them all, one day. And the day WILL come.)


After these resits, I know I still made some silly mistakes no matter how concentrated I was and how much efforts I put in.

I know I can't do anything about it.
I know I can't change anything.

I broken down before.
I felt frustrated before.
I felt like giving up before.

These are what I said to all my friends:

"i failed 4 exams.now have to resit.
at the moment, i got 1 more left on 22nd august.
thats the bulkiest one which i just failed by 2 marks.urgh.
but thank god i passed the other bulky exams.

well, i din know(as i didnt complain to u), all these while the amount of stress i have to bear.
seeing people passed with flying colors(not only just passed), and i failed, the required amount of strength and courage to get back up is a lot.
its not easy.
i'm still trying very hard.and it hurts. everytime.

i have done everything i can in this resit.
then i just leave the result to the God. DUN CARE."


"nola dont say like that.just dont worry.cz really,u cant do anything about it anymore.u have done everything u can and thats it.good or bad, leave it to the God.dont care anymore.it will let u know whether thats the right path u should go in ur life.dont think too much.u may create problem that didnt even exist in the first place.(as if i very hebat...i got one more exam and my future career is at stake also.hahahhaha)"


"travel la.clear my mind..the result just leave it to the God. DUN CARE.hahaha"


Yes it isn't easy. I know.
Yes the amount of courage it required is a lot. I know.
Yes what it takes to become a lawyer isn't as easy as I thought. I know.

I have done everything I could this time and that's it.
People passed with flying colors, DO NOT CARE! Everyone has different paces, and different lifes, and different paths.
All I know now is:
"Never compare yourself or others to other people. Everyone has their own struggles, own fights, and a different path that they chose to get to where they are. Everyone is who they are for a reason."
Those silly mistakes that bugging me all these while, DO NOT CARE!
Don't worry. However it turns out, it will be just fine.
"When you are not happy anymore, open the door. Not to leave, but to let other opportunities in."

This time in London, maybe that's a sign, from what happened on me and my friend, just keep telling me:
"Don't worry, really. Things will just turn out fine when you are not worrying about it. Just follow your heart, follow your inner voice, follow what it tells you to do"
Everything will be just fine in the end, if it is not fine, it is not the end.

Don't dwell on the past, focus on the victory God can do.
Don't think too much, you might just create problems that didn't exist in the first place.
Don't worry at all, you might just worrying something that weren't even there in the first place.

Keep walking forward, keep trying, keep believing in self, keep having faith in hope, astride the steps, you'll get there, eventually.
It's just a matter of time.
Someone said this to me before:"When you want something badly enough, you'll get it. Whatever it takes."
Trust the God, there's miracle.
"I do not believe in coincidence, I believe in miracle."

At least, I learned a lesson this time - Anyone can celebrate success, but not everyone can handle and accept failure and still stand up brave and stay strong .
And, I learned and know how to appreciate, how to be grateful, how to not complain that much.

别担心，不要害怕。不用再假设，没有如果。
人算，有时真的不如天算。
加油！
吸一大口气，跨大脚步，大步大步地勇敢跨过去。