100th day in United Kingdom

Not today, not the day I post this post.

December 31st 2010, the last day of a century's year, it so happens that it is also my 100th day in United Kingdom!

I flew on September 22nd 2010 and officially left my first foot step on this long historical huge ruling mainland on 23rd. Start counting from September 23rd, December 31st will exactly be my 100th day in this country.

100days, in this totally stranger country, well, I think I had been living good here.

Besides, I have learned a lot. A whole new country, a whole new life, a whole new experience.

I learned the way the British speak.

I learned the University life is not easy as I thought.

I learned the life here does not really fun as it seems.

I learned the University Residence does not really great as compared to others.

I learned the city does not seems happening as it supposes to be.

I learned the British/whites/locals living culture are totally different from ours.

I learned no one here will treats me as good as I get back home.

I learned being selfish is just human nature.

I learned the thinking of whites are really odd to us.

I learned no one here will says me straight about the way I have been acting as the real friends and family could.

I learned falling in love is sucks, and somehow even sucks in here.

I learned I can do more things at will here, in some way.

I learned I actually do miss many things in Malaysia many times even though I am into western so much.

I learned the family is always the best remedy.

I learned no friends can compete with who I had, and still having in Malaysia, 3+3 and others.

I learned love, not only something out of my hand, but something beyond my thought.

I learned being outstanding is not hard, but being different is.

I learned I had, in fact I have to grow up.

I learned I actually do have a lot of family burdens to carry at this age.

I learned the older we get, the more responsibility we have.

I learned nothing will comes for free.

From Malaysia To United Kingdom,

From University Hall To Student Houses,

From Cardiff to London,

From 21s To 22s,

From a boy who thought he knew everything To a guy who is now thinking where he should fits in this world,

From a teenager who was only working and getting some income which is obviously not enough To a University student who has to save, calculate and worry about daily expenditure, but still a teens,

From a kid who earning MYR to a person who have to worry about how to earn GBP as the next step,

From a naive guy who set his goal to reside in Los Angeles, California To a boy who has to realize it will not be that easy, but that is still his dream, always his dream,

From working in 988 which is seriously in the process of achieving his real dream To adapting the brand new life in whole new country and worrying if he can goes back to work and resume the road of achieving his dream in an unlikely event that he has to goes back to Malaysia for the rest of his life,

From a person who thinks earning that little insufficient money is considered fine To now realize that he actually has a whole family burden to carry as the eldest child, at least sometimes soon,

From a person who thinks he just pretty good at just about everything he did To a guy who found out he has no choice but has to be that way,

From a guy who always likes to fake American accent To now sometimes he has to,

I changed.

I did change a lot, didn't I? At least I hope so.

But one thing, procrastination still remains, I wanted to get rid of it but I can't do anything about it, not anytime soon, I don't know why.

Sometimes I just wonder, how will I do if I did not choose this route in the first place?

What if I am studying UoL, will I be living the way I am now? Will I be working in 988 which is one of my ultimate dreams?

Or, what if I did not study law and took the offer from local university and went to UMS for my forestry course?

I don't understand, why are people can get so many sorts of funding for them to study abroad but I can't?

Why didn't I take the initiative to ask?

Life is hard, I know that, no one told me it was easy, but nobody ever told me it was that hard too!

All right, no point looking back to something that I can't change. It is not like I got all day to worry about.

Time runs, sun rises, earth rotates, no matter what I do.

I know my financial situation and family background is different from all other of my friends, I did not choose to and frankly it sucks. But since I am in that position, I just gotta do it, whatever it takes, no matter how.

Just because I am poor for now, doesn't mean that I am useless and destined to be poor for my future life.

Or the more reason for me to work hard now!

Since I had already be here, stick to my plan, and keep moving on.

I have to apply for BPTC, at the mean time keep an eye on the Tier 1 working permit, and in few years time after gaining some experience, I can fly to USA and achieve my dream!

So no worries about not getting to USA, UK is just a stepping stone all right? You know, sort of 'kick the tyre' here first so that I can adapt to the life in USA ALONE fast in the future!

Now, study hard and work hard! When I say 'work', I mean literally work to get money!

I know my family members want to be so proud of me, especially my mom can talk about me aloud in front of her 'showing off-aunties friends'.

I want my family to fly here, proud and happy on July 22nd 11am for a very valid good reason.

Not only that, I want myself to be totally satisfied with my achievement too!

In the event that I have to go back to Malaysia for my working life, which I don't want to, I must apply for 988(the easiest for me so far, I think), don't forget that's my dream too!

I know,

'Always aim for the sky, because even if you fall, you can at least reach the cloud.'

And recently got the quote from my friend,

'When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.'

Besides, I worked too hard for me to give it all up now, I suppose.

I believe,

The amount of what I have worked for, will pay off one day, equivalently! Or sometimes even more!

Nothing will comes for free, remember?

No pains, no gains.

Love? Screw it! Stand out of my way and stay away from my life!

I hope I can do that though.

So, just always go for what I aim for!

Tornadoes, volcanoes, hurricanes, tsunami, earthquakes or whatever obstacle, come and get me!

You won't turn me down!

2011, you will be my year!!!

I'll do my part, and YOU'll do your part, okay?deal?

Whoever the YOU is.

Fair and Square.

(THIS SONG MAY SUIT THIS POST BEST:-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF2EH9X3IM4&feature=related