Today, in Sales of Goods lecture, well, it's just so happened that there's no suitable seat available for me to get up there and avoid you, yeah, I have been avoiding you all these time although I desperately wanna talk to you.
I know you will then definitely sit in the front row as usual, except EU Law which I don't know why. That's how we met actually. I saw you sitting on the front row on the first day of Sales of Goods lecture alone, and I asked my friend along to sit with you. Of course, with the motive to know you, I have been watching and observing you ever since the first time I saw you in the very first Labor Law lecture which I accompany my friend to attend.
So, back to the point, I chose the front row's seat which I don't have a choice, and then as expected, you came into the lecture hall and you sit beside of me. Um, I was wondering will you pick the seat directly beside me or the seat after that and leave or bag in our between. Well, you didn't. You sit literally on my right seat, beside me. Maybe because I move my file on the seat's table and you just showing a manner by doing that or what, I don't know. But what I know, you sat beside me, I pretend not to see you although when I move my file away, when the class ended you finished packing and you are suppose and can leave like many other student and I'm still in the middle of copying something, but you didn't. You waited but I don't know for what. To talk to me?or just wait for my other friends?
I really really wanna talk to you, but I, I really can't do that. Every time I wanna open my mouth, see you through your eyes, or just look at your eyes and talk, I can't. I am panic, nervous. I don't know what to talk, ever since this 'cool war' we've lost all the topics, from little to none now.
So we ended up not talking to each other, before during or even after the lecture, we just pretend like we never exist. Jeez, we sat right beside of each other! I know it's may be my fault, I'm the one who don't want to turn and talk to you while most probably you were waiting after lecture just to talk to me (or not).
So, while I am still pretending not seeing you, you leave your seat and talk to the other friend which I don't want you to. I just don't like him. You stay and hang around for a while. And of course, we did not say any goodbye before we leave, and you leave before me, with the friend, I suppose. So, did you turn and look at me for at least a second?
I.... I really have no idea what we're going through now. Maybe it really doesn't matter much to you but to me, the hell lot yeah!
Yesterday; today.
Bump into you talking on the phone alone after class, wonder if you felt awkward as much as I do and did turn around and look at me when I leave; sit beside you, pretend not each other doesn't exist at all never met before and wonder do you really sit beside because of you want to or just coincidence, and if you want to, then do you want to talk to me, and if you do, can we be not only as friend or best buddy? can we at least stand a chance to cross the damn friendship line that every secret admirer can't cross?
I really wanna to be with you. I afraid if you go back to your country after this semester ends and we're not going to see each other again, I afraid if you don't want to talk to me if you know the truth...There're so many that I have to worry about.
Should I just confess everything to you on the coming Valentine's Day? Should I test you if you going out anyway during that day?
I don't know. That's what I say, there're so many things I wanna tell you know you and also so many things that I have afraid of. Every single thing that have to deal with you, it's really getting on my nerve when I don't know where and how to begin with. The feeling of missing you everyday and acting cool in front of you is so not fun and getting under my skin.
And you, maybe you are afraid of me or wonder what the hell you did wrong and why am I that mad at you. Or maybe you don't even care.
We have many things in between. No one knows what to do. Maybe we should back in the saddle. Maybe we should try. Maybe we should say:
Maybe we should talk.
But how?
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